A Laugh a Day

A recent health study determined that there are 3 primary reasons why people can't cope in life:

· They have a low self-esteem….
· They live in the past….
· They don’t laugh enough….
In fact, the same study concluded that we need a minimum of 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy!

So here are some humorous quotes on life from “Laughter is an Instant Vacation”. And, by the way, if in the next few minutes you don't laugh at least once, check your pulse...you may be dead!

An Excerpt from
Laughter is an Instant Vacation
Humorous Quotes on Life

1. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say, "Because it’s such a beautiful animal." There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
~Ellen DeGeneres

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan

3. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

4. If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.
~Will Kommen

5. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
~Robert Orben

6. Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors.
~David Brenner

7. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
~Dave Barry

8. I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?
~Jean Kerr

9. My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays.
~Joey Bishop

10. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
~Roseanne Barr

11. To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.
~Rita Rudner

12. If you love something, set it free. Unless it's chocolate. Never release chocolate.
~Renee Duvall

13. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
~Calvin Trillin

14. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
~Rodney Dangerfield

15. Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
~Yogi Berra

16. My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
~Rita Rudner

17. My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
~Wendy Liebman

18. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
~Douglas Adams

19. I have an aunt who married so late in life that Medicare picked up 80 percent of the honeymoon.
~Don Reber

20. I hate housework- you make the beds, you do the dishes...and six months later you have to start all over again.
~Joan Rivers

21. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
~Henny Youngman

22. Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
~Bob Thaves

23. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
~W.C. Fields

24. Insanity doesn't run in my family. It gallops.
~Cary Grant

25. When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
~Phyllis Diller.

ENJOY !!!
Sent by Viraj Thacker