Thursday, June 30, 2011

MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY

Germany is a highly industrialized country. It produces top brands like Benz, BMW, Siemens etc. The nuclear reactor pump is made in a small town in this country.
In such a country, many will think its people lead a luxurious life. At least that was my impression before my study trip.

When I arrived at Hamburg, my colleagues who work in Hamburg arranged a welcome party for me in a restaurant. As we walked into the restaurant, we noticed that a lot of tables were empty. There was a table where a young couple was having their meal. There were only two dishes and two cans of beer on the table. I wondered if such simple meal could be romantic, and
whether the girl will leave this stingy guy.

There were a few old ladies on another table. When a dish is served, the waiter would distribute the food for them, and they would finish every bit of the food on their plates.

We did not pay much attention to them, as we were looking forward to the dishes we ordered. As we were hungry, our local colleague ordered more food for us.

As the restaurant was quiet, the food came quite fast. Since there were other activities arranged for us, we did not spend much time dining. When we left, there was still about one third of unconsumed food on the table.

When we were leaving the restaurant, we heard someone calling us. We noticed the old ladies in the restaurant were talking about us to the restaurant owner. When they spoke to us in English, we understood that they were unhappy about us wasting so much food. We immediately felt that they were really being too busybody.

"We paid for our food, it is none of your business how much food we left behind," my colleague Gui told the old ladies.

The old ladies were furious. One of them immediately took her hand phone out and made a call to someone. After a while, a man in uniform from the Social Security organization arrived. Upon knowing what the dispute was, he issued us a 50 Mark fine.

We all kept quiet. The local colleague took out a 50 Mark note and repeatedly apologized to the officer.

The officer told us in a stern voice, "ORDER WHAT YOU CAN CONSUME, MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY. THERE ARE MANY OTHERS IN THE WORLD WHO ARE FACING SHORTAGE OF RESOURCES. YOU HAVE NO REASON TO WASTE RESOURCES.´”

Our face turned red. We all agreed with him in our hearts. The mindset of people of this rich country put all of us to shame. WE REALLY NEED TO REFLECT ON THIS. We are from country which is not very rich in resources. To save face, we order large quantity and also waste food when we give others a treat. THIS LESSON TAUGHT US A LESSON TO THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT CHANGING OUR BAD HABITS.

My colleague Photocopied the fine ticket and gave a copy to each of us as a souvenir. All of us kept it and pasted on our wall to remind us that we shall never be wasteful.


Sent by Subrata Samanta

Hinglish

Family and friends - especially E. Lit classmates, I do hope you're not making the errors noted below.

Now, please "do the needful" by reading this email and "revert". In the meantime, I shall "do one thing" and "pass out".

"Do one thing...take this piece of chalk..."

We are a unique species, aren’t we? Not humans. Indians, I mean. No other race speaks or spells like we do.
Take greetings for example.
A friendly clerk asking me for my name is apt to start a conversation with, “What is your good name?” As if I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil pseudonym. Bizarre.!!!
I call these Indianisms.
Which got me thinking about a compilation, - a greatest hits of the 10 most hilarious Indianisms out there. And here they are. The most common ones, and my favorites among them.
1. "Passing out"

When you complete your studies at an educational institution, you graduate from that institution.
You do not "pass out" from that institution.
To "pass out" refers to losing consciousness, like after you get too drunk, though I’m not sure how we managed to connect graduating and intoxication. ( Hicc !! thash eeashy.)
Oh wait … of course, poor grades throughout the year could lead to a sudden elation on hearing you’ve passed all of your exams, which could lead to you actually "passing out," but this is rare at best.
2. "Kindly revert"

One common mistake we make is using the word revert to mean reply or respond.
Revert means "to return to a former state."
I can’t help thinking of a sarcastic answer every time this comes up.
“Please revert at the earliest.”
“Sure, I’ll set my biological clock to regress evolutionarily to my original primitive hydrocarbon state at 12 p.m. today."
3. "Years back"

If it happened in the past, it happened years ago, not "years back."
Given how common this phrase is, I’m guessing the first person who switched "ago" for "back" probably did it years back. See what I mean?
And speaking of "back," asking someone to use the backside entrance sounds so wrong.
“So when did you buy this car?”
“Oh, years back.”
“Cool, can you open the backside? I’d like to get a load in.”
4. "Doing the needful"

Try to avoid using the phrase "do the needful." It went out of style decades ago, about the time the British left.
Using it today indicates you are a dinosaur, a dinosaur with bad grammar.
You may use the phrase humorously, to poke fun at such archaic speech, or other dinosaurs.
“Will you do the needful?”
“Of course, and I’ll send you a telegram to let you know it's done too.”
5. "Discuss about"

“What shall we discuss about today?”
“Let’s discuss about politics. We need a fault-ridden topic to mirror our bad grammar.”
You don't "discuss about" something; you just discuss things.
The word "discuss" means to "talk about". There is no reason to insert the word "about" after "discuss."
That would be like saying "talk about about." Which "brings about" me to my next peeve.
6. "Order for"

"Hey, let’s order for a pizza."
"Sure, and why not raid a library while we’re about it.”
When you order something, you "order" it, you do not "order for" it.
Who knows when or why we began placing random prepositions after verbs?
Perhaps somewhere in our history someone lost a little faith in the "doing" word and added "for" to make sure their order would reach them. They must have been pretty hungry.
7. "Do one thing"

When someone approaches you with a query, and your reply begins with the phrase "do one thing," you're doing it wrong.
"Do one thing" is a phrase that does not make sense.
It is an Indianism. ( derived from Malayalam <"oru karyam chei / cheiyuga> It is only understood in India. It is not proper English. It is irritating.
There are better ways to begin a reply. And worst of all, any person who starts a sentence with "do one thing" invariably ends up giving you at least five things to do.
“My computer keeps getting hung.”
“Do one thing. Clear your history. Delete your cookies. Defrag your hard drive. Run a virus check. Restart your computer... .”
8. "Out of station"

“Sorry I can’t talk right now, I’m out of station.”
“What a coincidence, Vijay, I’m in a station right now.”
Another blast from the past, this one, and also, extremely outdated.
What's wrong with "out of town" or "not in Mumbai" or my favorite "I'm not here"?
9. The big sleep

"I’m going to bed now, sleep is coming."
"OK, say hi to it for me."
While a fan of anthropomorphism, I do have my limits. "Sleep is coming" is taking things a bit too far.
Your life isn’t a poem. You don’t have to give body cycles their own personalities.
10. Prepone

“Let’s prepone the meeting from 11 a.m. to 10 a.m.”
Because the opposite of postpone just has to be prepone, right?
"Prepone" is probably the most famous Indianism of all time; one that I’m proud of, and that I actually support as a new entry to all English dictionaries.
Because it makes sense. Because it fills a gap. Because we need it. We’re Indians, damn it. Students of chaos theory.
We don’t have the time to say silly things like "could you please bring the meeting forward."
"Prepone" it is.

There are many more pure grammatical "gems" in what we call Indian English. Perhaps in time I’ll list some more. And perhaps in the near future, we’ll get better at English.
Till then, kindly adjust.

2 more to add to those

1, MEET MY MRS . A man introducing his wife ...

2, HOW MANY ISSUES YOU HAVE ?? Meaning : How many children do you have ??


Sent by Prakash Bhartia.

I know our unique India words surprise many puritans.
Englishmen were equally shocked when color wasn't spelt as colour by the Americans but now all computers spell it thus as they come from America and Englishmen have accepted it.
After all the purpose of English is to make people understand each other and if Indians understand each other using the lingo above well 1.20 billion people understand each other.
The stiff upper mouth Englishmen have become the minority among the people who speak English.
LONG LIVE HINGLISH

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wives

Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life... The wives want both!

Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to
get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighbourhood.

Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It
only means that the safety of your head is much more important than
your ego!

Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house
for 5 years.Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling
single again.

A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she is in love the most; and when a man does that... the slide show begins.

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good Maid!

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen
--
--
--
--
--
--
of them.

BACHELOR... TAAJ MAHAL
BANANA HAI....MUMTAAZ MILTI
NAHI....

MARRIED MAN....TAAJ MAHAL
BANANA HAI......HAI MUMTAAZ
MARTI NAHI.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Sunday, June 26, 2011

An Interview with Santosh Hegde, Lokayukta, Karnataka

‘I have no faith in the political system in India. I have no faith in any political party’
Santosh Hegde, a member of the joint drafting committee on the Lokpal Bill, says that the civil society committee members have been called non-elected, non-electable tyrants. But, he tells Seetha, politicians are not the true representatives of the people because most of them don’t even get 50 per cent of the votes cast

It ’s been a long day that started with meetings at Udipi in Karnataka at 9.30am. But when Nitte Santosh Hegde, Karnataka Lokayukta (the state level ombudsman) and member of the joint drafting committee on the Lokpal Bill, walks into Delhi’s Karnataka Bhavan 12 hours later — after a delayed flight — there’s no sign of fatigue on his face. He’s had to deal with one television channel at the airport, another at the entrance of Karnataka Bhavan. And then there’s me, waiting for one and a half hours.

“I have come only to scotch rumours about a rift (with other civil society members of the committee) and to assert that I am with Anna (Hazare),” he says as he settles his portly frame into a sofa in his suite. In black shirt and trousers, his hair and moustache just beginning to show traces of white, his 71 years sit lightly on him.

Hegde wasn’t planning to be in Delhi that day for this week’s two-day meeting of the drafting committee, which has finally ended in a stalemate. He had prior commitments and he doesn’t like cancelling one programme to accommodate another. Though the attitude of the government team — “they were saying no to everything” — also weighed on his mind, it was his other engagements that made him decide to skip the meetings.

Unfortunately, a letter he wrote to Anna Hazare explaining his absence was misinterpreted. In that, he had requested Hazare to not go ahead with his plans for a fast from August 16. “It wasn’t a mistake, but turned out to have been one,” he laments. The media went to town about his having walked out of the committee, Team Anna having split and that he objected to Hazare’s fast. With phone calls from various quarters pouring in, he rescheduled the meetings at Udipi on Monday and drove straight to Mangalore to catch the Delhi flight.

“I have always been justifying Anna’s protest; it is this weapon of satyagraha that got us independence.” Peaceful protest, he points out, is a constitutionally accepted method of showing one’s opposition to any particular decision of the government. He was only suggesting an alternative — that Hazare should travel across the country to mobilise people for the fight against corruption.

Hegde is sometimes described as the only sane voice among the civil society members of the committee (the others are Anna Hazare, the father-son lawyer duo of Shanti and Prashant Bhushan, and Right to Information activist Arvind Kejriwal). Apart from his legal background (he donned the black robes in 1966 and was advocate-general of Karnataka, additional solicitor-general, and then solicitor-general of India and Supreme Court judge) he brings to the table his hands-on experience as Lokayukta of Karnataka since 2006 (he retires in August).

He calls his stint a bitter-sweet experience, with some satisfaction and some disappointments. He had resigned in 2010, saying the government was not acting on his recommendations on curbing illegal mining, but took the resignation back after appeals from across the political spectrum, including Union home minister P. Chidambaram and Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) leader L.K. Advani. He regrets that there were many things he couldn’t do and he is trying to get some of those lacuna addressed in the Lokpal Bill.

That’s my cue for an oft-made point — can one institution end corruption? No, he admits. “I myself have said yes, I have not reduced corruption in Karnataka. But I have contained corruption,” he claims, adding that one newspaper has called it the most feared institution in the state. “The Lokpal will contain corruption and go deeper with the powers which I don’t have, if these are given.”

There’s concern, though, that some of the powers being sought aren’t quite in line with the Constitution and will require its amendment. Absolutely not, he asserts before going into details about why not. “I also know a bit of the law,” he says with a wry smile. Team Anna, he says, was interested in getting the Lokpal Bill enacted at the earliest, while a constitutional amendment would take at least two years. “Will we suggest that option? That will be idiotic on our part.”

He doesn’t see why the judiciary or the Prime Minister should be kept out of the Lokpal’s jurisdiction. “If any institution or post were to be kept out of Indian law, the Constitution would have provided for it.” The Constitution has such a provision only for the President, he points out. Laws relating to corruption have applied to the judiciary since before Independence, he says. It was only because of a 1991 Supreme Court ruling that no criminal case could be registered against the higher judiciary without the permission of the Chief Justice of India, that no action can be taken.

And the government won’t come to a standstill if a Prime Minister has to step down when there is an investigation against him, he insists. Prime Ministers have died “suddenly, without notice”, he observes sarcastically. A successor has been appointed and the government continues. “If a calamity had to happen without a Prime Minister, it would have happened when Jawaharlal Nehru, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Indira Gandhi died in office. If you want to imagine an unimaginable situation, you can give any excuse.” The Prime Minister was under the Lokpal in the government’s bill in October, 2010, he points out. “What happened between then and now for that to change?”

The phone rings for the fifth time. This time it is Swami Agnivesh saying he’s relieved he’s in Delhi. They fix up to meet the rest of Team Anna the next day ahead of the drafting committee meeting. Should a small coterie be deciding a law with huge ramifications?

He recalls some Congress leaders calling them non-elected, non-electable tyrants. Elected politicians, he points out, are supposed to discuss serious issues in legislatures. In 2008, 17 bills were passed in 12 days. One of them was an amendment to the Prevention of Corruption Act that removed three sections that helped the prosecuting agencies. “I met an MP who didn’t even know this. These are the people we should trust?” In any case, he argues, they are not the true representatives because most of them don’t even get 50 per cent of the votes cast.

Such contempt for the political class is a bit surprising for the son of a former Lok Sabha Speaker — K.S. Hegde, who quit as Supreme Court judge in 1973 after Indira Gandhi appointed a junior judge as Chief Justice of India superseding him and some others. He doesn’t have to agree with his father, he points out. “I have no faith in the political system in India. I have no faith in any political party.”

Are you the real representatives of the people, I can’t help asking. He is unfazed. “Yes, we have not been elected by anybody. But did anyone else prepare a bill contrary to the one prepared by the government in 2010? Nobody came forward. Nor did anyone compete with us in preparing a bill. We didn’t say no one else should draft an alternative bill. The more the merrier.” Ever since Team Anna’s draft was put on the website of India Against Corruption, it has got immense support from the public, he points out. “Isn’t that an indication that India wants a Lokpal Bill?”

Perhaps, but can deadlines be set for the passage of bills? He smiles. “If you don’t put pressure on the government, nothing ever happens.” Bills, he admits, have to go through a certain process. If the government is really interested, it can get a bill passed in a week with no difficulty, he adds.

The fasts by Hazare and Baba Ramdev and allegations about their links to the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) have hurt the image of those in the forefront of the anti-corruption movement, I point out. “Don’t bring Ramdev into this,” he shoots back, “I am not going to talk anything about Baba.” He’s quite certain that Hazare is not aligned with the RSS or any political party or political philosophy. This, he says, is all part of a slander campaign against Team Anna to cripple the anti-corruption movement.

Hegde himself has been dubbed a BJP man by senior Congress leaders, a charge that leaves him both aghast and amused. BJP president Nitin Gadkari, he says, dubbed him the opposition leader in Karnataka. “My answer was, yes I am. A Lokayukta should always be a critic of the government when it is wrong. He has not been appointed to sing its praises.”

The Congress, he says, is attacking him because he has been unable to proceed on one allegation against Karnataka chief minister B.S. Yeddyurappa made by the Janata Dal (S) because of a writ petition in the High Court and there has been some delay in his report on illegal mining because some figures are being cross-checked. “This is irritating them. They could have used it to bring the government down. But I can’t help it. I am not going to help the Congress play a political game.”

The Congress, he says, has no other stick to beat him with. His assets and liabilities are up for scrutiny on the Lokayukta website. “I have no children who can do any mischief.”

Could he, perhaps, be looking for a political role for himself? “I have no political ambition. I have said repeatedly that if I ever stand for election, don’t give me a vote, but hit me,” he says playing upon a Kannada word for hit which rhymes with vote.

So what happens after August 2, when he ceases to be Lokayukta? “Nothing. I have achieved things that most Indians may not have. I have that satisfaction,” he says. He had told Hazare that he would travel with him to raise awareness about the Lokpal Bill once he demits office.

With the stalemate over the bill, perhaps that’s all he can do.


The interview has appeared in thee Telegraph of 26th June, 2011

In Pakistan, denial is easier than heartbreak

Reuters
By Nzaar Ihsan Nzaar Ihsan – Tue Jun 21, 11:11 am ET

Doha, Qatar – Ever since Osama bin Laden’s assassination, the western media have been wondering why Pakistanis refuse to accept the truth and instead believe in wild conspiracy theories. As one particularly scathing article in a Canadian paper puts it, “This is the salve that now comforts millions of Pakistanis at a time of fundamental crisis. They choose the magical world of conspiracy.”
As an expatriate Pakistani, I’ve also been asked by confused Britons, Arabs, and Indians: “Why don’t you guys admit that things are out of control? Why is everything that goes wrong in Pakistan always a CIA conspiracy?”
Let me explain. In the 1980s, every 5-year-old in Pakistan wanted to become a commando or a pilot. Nobody wanted to become an accountant or an architect or a civil engineer. Ever wonder why? It’s because the army was awesome.
Pakistan's national heroes.
One of my earliest memories was waking up early in the morning each Sept. 6 to watch the Defense Day Parade on TV. It was amazing. There were planes, commandos, and missiles: everything that makes up the fantasy toy world of a young boy.
As we watched the tanks roll by, my mom told me that Sept. 6 is celebrated to commemorate the valiant defense of the country against an Indian attack in 1965. The Pakistan studies book in school later taught me that India attacked Lahore in the dead of the night, without any provocation or formal declaration of war – a “cowardly attack.” We won the war and caused major losses to the Indian military machine. Maj. Shaheed Aziz Bhatti was my hero.
The next chapter talked about 1971. We learned that India created a terrorist group called the “Mukti Bahini,” which terrorized the population in Bangladesh. While a massive conspiracy engineered by the Indians misled the East Pakistan population and eventually led to partition, our army still won the war and the Indian army was left licking its wounds. Shaheed Rashid Minhas was the hero this time.
School books told us that India never accepted the creation of Pakistan and that its army would invade Pakistan the first chance it got; we would then be forced to lead terrible lives, just like Muslims in India lived a life of servitude and backwardness.
A career in the army was a dream. Regardless of economic background, if a young man made it into the Pakistan Army as an officer, it was guaranteed that he would have a nice house, a decent car, and access to the prestigious Services Club. His children would study in good schools and he would be eligible for discounts on everything from groceries to airline tickets.
Never again would the police harass him, and petty burglars would think twice before trying to break into his house in the military cantonment. He would get to play golf and polo. When he retired, he would end up with a couple of plots of land in prime neighborhoods, allowing him to grow old in peace.
The army was everything good and reliable. Over the years, we observed that everything that was good, pure, and reliable in the country was associated with the army. The state infrastructure was corrupt, inefficient, and lazy, while the army was honest, disciplined, and efficient.
Policemen in the street were overweight, unshaven, and unkempt – they traveled in banged up pickups. Soldiers, on the other hand, were lean, well groomed, and smartly dressed. They drove around in Land Cruisers and big shiny army trucks. Army officers wore Ray Bans. Girls dreamed of getting married to dashing young lieutenants.
The army was awesome. The army was also obviously successful in the pursuit of Pakistan's strategic interests. In addition to the fending off the Indians, the army had now also saved us from the wrath of the Soviet juggernaut. The creation of the Taliban and a pro-Pakistan government in Afghanistan was a success in our effort to achieve "strategic depth".
We had a highly skilled, extremely powerful, and deadly efficient military. We were a nuclear-armed nation that basked in the glory of our military strength – we were the world’s most powerful defenders of Islam. Allahu Akbar.
With new information, disillusionment :
Then the 21st century happened and things started going wrong. Information that was locked up in books that nobody read, was suddenly available on TV and in people’s email boxes. Internet articles told us that Pakistan started the 1965 war on Aug. 5 by sending soldiers into Kashmir (and that the Sept. 6 attack from India was a retaliation). Wikipedia showed us a news item from the Los Angeles Times that referred to our beloved Gen. Tikka Khan (the martial law administrator for East Pakistan) as “The Butcher of Bengal.” Googling “Operation Searchlight” gave gory details of the mass atrocities committed by the Pakistan Army in Bangladesh during 1971, including mass murder and rape.
The previously classified Hamoodur Rahman Commission Report, a post-fact investigation by a Pakistani judicial commission on the causes of the 1971 disaster, was leaked on the Internet for all to read.
Its findings accused the Pakistan Army of arson and excessive use of force. It also recommended courts-martial for much of the top brass for criminal neglect of duty, premature surrender, corruption, incompetence and for being power hungry. We learned that no action was ever taken on the recommendations of the report. President Pervez Musharraf was blamed in 2001 for hastily jumping into bed with the US after 9/11. Books were written on the multi-billion dollar businesses owned by the Army. Bomb blasts started happening. Was the Army still awesome?
Answers to tough questions? Denial :
Fast forward to 2011. The “war on terror” has killed 35,000 Pakistanis. Taliban have shown they can take over small towns. Terrorists have shown they can take over the Army general headquarters and one of Pakistan’s largest naval installations. Mr. bin Laden has been found and killed by a covert US raid, which the Pakistani air force couldn’t detect. Bin Laden’s long-time residency in Abbottabad raises serious questions about Pakistan’s intelligence agency.
The air force has admitted that the airbase in Balochistan is not actually under their control, as it was constructed by the United Arab Emirates. Meanwhile, Wikileaks has proven that our top general secretly asked for drone strikes and lied in public.
Suddenly, 187 million people are forced to come to terms with the possibility that their armed forces might not be as awesome as they thought.
Pakistanis are now asking difficult questions: Is the Army incapable? Is it corrupt? Has it really been the savior of the country for the past 65 years? And the most dangerous question of all: Are sections of the Army supporting the terrorists? In a world where the Army is the only thing in Pakistan that is reliable and true, this is a fundamental shock to the nation’s value system.
Denial is a natural reaction when everything that you believed in is suddenly taken away from you. That’s why I agree with most Pakistanis that it’s all a conspiracy. It’s a plan by the CIA to malign our armed forces and take over our nuclear assets. Maybe it’s an effort by India’s intelligence agency to hurt our defense capabilities. In fact, it’s probably an evil scheme by the Israeli Mossad to destroy the world’s most powerful Muslim army. The Army isn't corrupt. The Army is still awesome.


Nzaar Ihsan is a Pakistani expatriate currently living in Qatar, where he works in the banking sector.

Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Friday, June 24, 2011

India Shining - in spite of our politicians

This one is delightfully interesting to read.

There were two rickshaw-walas vying for our business when we wanted to go to Sankat-Mochan temple in Benaras. I agreed to go with the one who was about 20, seemed like a regular young rickshaw-wala, but I found something interesting about this fellow in his eyes. I was not proved wrong.
He wanted Rs 50, we said Rs 30. We settled for 40.
Here are the highlights of the conversation that ensued while he rode the rickshaw:
"aap kahan se aaye hain"
"Delhi"
"bijness ya kaam karte hain?"
"naukri karte hain"
"kismein"
"internet mein"
"humara bhi kuch wahin kaam lagwa do"
I just chuckled
"main try kar raha hoon engineering padhne kee. achchi naukri lag jaayegi tab"
"achcha?" I asked a little interested
"haan, delhi mein Guru Gobind Singh Indraprashta University mein engineering ke liye apply kara hai. achchi hai woh university"
"haan, achchi hai", I agreed.
"haan, kal hee maine JEE bhi diya"
"JEE matlab, IIT ka?"
"haan, Joint Entrance Examination" he pronounced it perfectly just to make it clear to me what JEE stood for. "mushkil hota hai exam"
"haan, 2 saal toh log padhte hee hain uske liye, asaan nahin hai" I carried on the conversation
"Delhi mein Akaash coaching institute hain na?"
"haan, hai"
"aapne kya padhai kari?"
"main engineer hoon, aur phir mba bhi kiya"
"kahan se engineer?"
"IIT delhi se"
He swung back, surprised, a little delighted, and smiled. "Ok, aapke liye Rs 30"
Swati and I laughed
Swati asked "padhai kab karte they IIT ke liye"
"bas, rickshaw chalaane ke baad raat mein". Then he added "kismein engineering kari aapne?"
"Chemical"
"toh aapki chemistry toh badi strong hogi"
"nahin, aisa nahin hai"
He continued "yeh bataiye....jab Mendeleev ne Periodic Table banaya tha tab kitne elements they usmein?"
Now it was my turn to get surprised. He was quizzing me. I said "shayad 70-80"
"no, 63" he said sharply. "kaunse element kee electronegativity highest hai?"
Swati was laughing, and I didnt try too hard and said "pata nahin"
"Flourine", he said confidently. Without a break he asked,"kaunse element kee electron affinity highest hoti hai?"
Now I was laughing too and said "nahin pata"
"Chlorine. toh aapka kaunsa subject strong tha?" clearly having proven that my chemistry wasnt a strong point
"Physics", I said
"achha, Newton's second law of motion kya hai"
I knew this one I thought, "F=ma" I said
"Physics is not about formula, it is understanding concept!" he reprimanded me in near perfect english. "Tell me in statement"
I was shocked. Swati continued to laugh.
I said "ok, Newtons second law, er....was...."
" 'was' nahin, 'is'!Second law abhi bhi hai!" he snapped at my use of 'was'
Surely, my physics wasnt impressing him either. "yaad nahin, I said"
"Force on an object is directly proportional to the mass of the object and the acceleration of the object", he said it in near perfect english. "aapne mtech nahin kiya?"
"nahin, mba kiya"
"mba waale toh sirf paisa kamana chahte hain, kaam nahin karte"
"nahin, aisa nahin hai, paisa kamaane ke liye kaam karna padta hai"
He said "arrey, rehene do" or some words to that effect. He didnt think too highly of me apparently anymore.
In a minute we reached our destination. We got off and I told him that he must and should definitely study more, and that I think he is sharp as hell. He took only Rs 30, smiled and began to leave. I got my camera out and said "Raju, ek photo leta hoon tumhari". He waved me off, dismissed the idea and rode off before I could say anything more....leaving me feeling high and dry like a spurned lover.
Damn, what a ride that was! India is changing, and changing fast.

And so it goes !!!!!


Sent by Pradeep Nahata

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Smileys

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.
They all enter into a room with a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was
into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died." The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third entrant of the day enters. He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you."

"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in this cedar chest....."


Dog Stories

A GERMAN TOURIST JUMPED IN THE FREEZING WATER AND SAVED MY PRECIOUS LITTLE DOG.
UPON GETTING BACK ON THE BRIDGE, HE CHECKED MY PUPPIE OUT AND TOLD ME,
"ZE DOG IS OK. HE VILL BE FINE."
Due to his selfless heroic act, I ASKED, "ARE YOU A VET?"
HE REPLIED,
"VET? I'M FUCKINK SOAKED!"


This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said,
"Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare." So I explained to her that my dogs
are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging
clue who their Daddys are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with
housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes
to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday.

Damn, this is a great country.


All the above sent by Prakash Bhartia

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

CBI, Lap Dog of the Central Government

Government misleading public on Lokpal Bill: Hazare

New Delhi, June 22 (ANI): Veteran Gandhian Anna Hazare on Wednesday accused the government of trying to mislead the people of the country on the discussions related to the Lokpal Bill.
Addressing a press conference at the Press Club of India here, Hazare vowed to relaunch his hunger strike from August 16. He said that Jantar Mantar area would be focus of the fresh hunger strike.
"We have an Election Commission and the government can't interfere in its function. We have the Supreme Court and the Right to Information (RTI) Act which they cannot interfere in," Hazare said.
"Just like them, the Lokpal should also be beyond government's interference," he added.
He said: "The government is trying to create misunderstanding in the minds of the people before our fast, which will be the second struggle for freedom," he said.
Representatives of the government and the civil society have had nine meetings on the framing of an effective Lokpal bill.
The last meeting between the 10 representatives took place on Tuesday with both sides agreeing to disagree on key points of discussion related to the Lokpal Bill.
Human Resource Development Minister Kapil Sibal said that while the government wanted a strong Lokpal, "we cannot have a parallel government".
Hazare said it was also important to bring the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) under the Lokpal to uproot corruption in the country.
"The CBI has investigated so many corruption cases but how many ministers have gone to jail since independence? This is because the government has full control over the CBI. That is why despite corruption ministers don't go to jail," Hazare said.
"This is why the CBI should be brought under the Lokpal. This is what we are demanding," he added.
Saying the government had "turned back on its words", Hazare sought support for his proposed hunger strike. (ANI)


I agree with Anna that the CBI has to be removed from the purview of the central government.
I have on a number of occasions in my earlier post mentioned the same thing.
The government tells it to sit, it sts.
The government tells it to stand, it stands.
The government tells it to wag its tails, it does so.
The government tells it to beg for food, it does so.
You will never find a more obedient dog.
And the best part is it switches its loyal with change of government at the centre.
Thus whether it is the UPA with congress or the NDA with BJP, the CBI behaves the same.
We want an independent CBI preferably under the Lok Pal or Supreme Court so that it functions without prejudice.
Any progress made in the corruption cases is because the Supreme Court has been monitoring the cases and pulling up the CBI.
This itself proves that the powers should be removed from the government for you cannot expect a thief to catch another thief

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

TO LIVE KINGSIZE

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.
Sent by Partha Sengupta.
You may have some of these earlier but there is no harm in refreshing the memory


"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't
save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will
this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."


FAILING IS NOT TRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE

Barber murders customer over haircut

Hyderabad, June 20 (IANS) A barber stabbed a customer to death after the latter pulled him up for not cutting his hair properly, police said.
The incident took place at Durgi in Guntur district of Andhra Pradesh Monday. It happened a few hours after the customer's wife delivered a child.
A barber at a hair saloon was angry when the customer, unsatisfied with his hair cut, returned to the shop and picked up an argument with him. The barber stabbed him with a scissor.
The profusely bleeding customer, identified as Ramesh, was rushed to hospital, where he succumbed to his injuries.
Tragedy struck Ramesh's family on the day when he became a father. His relatives and friends reportedly made fun of him when he returned home after the hair cut. Angry over this, he returned to the saloon and admonished the barber.


I think most of you must remember the monthly haircuts in school.
The barber was instructed to give a Topi Chhat to all boys since in those days our hair used to grow very fast ad the school did not want to call the barber more than once a month. We used to give some money to the barber to give us a decent haircut.

The above customer made a grave mistake.
It is never wise to discuss politics or argue with a barber when you are sitting in his parlour.
This man paid with his life for this mistake.

No Sunday Paper:

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors.

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"
The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, ..
..."Well, crap that explains why no one was at church either


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Sunday, June 19, 2011

How the Congress faced the twin threats of Anna and Baba Ramdeo

The centre faced the two twin threats from Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdeo. It has been able to neutralize Baba Ramdeo by using force. Baba Ramdeo has made a tactical withdrawal but you can expect that he will attack the congress when they least expect. He is presently like a wounded tiger who has been made to withdraw to its den.
Having tasted victory once the centre is now planning the same treatment to Anna. The centre is unwilling to allow certain posts to go under the purview of the Lok Pal. I don’t why it should object.
We had a number of cases where the chief ministers of a state have gone to jail against corruption charges. What is to prevent a Prime Minister to commit the same misdemeanours. We have had people like Lalu Yadav, Shibu Soren, C K Zaffer Shariff, Sukhram as ministers and they have been convicted. Suppose they had become Prime Ministers – what then?

The procedure for getting sanctions for prosecution is long and usually the permission is not forthcoming as even the superiors who are to give sanctions are involved. Who will give the sanction to prosecute of the PM? The President. But the President has been appointed by the PM and his/her cabinet. Will he/she give the sanction? No.

As for calling a All Party meeting to discuss the issue. I don’t think the present lot of parliamentarians will agree to give powers to the Lok Pal. They would rather want themselves too be included in the august list of NO-NO Lok Pal as 60 % of our MPs have criminal charges against them. After all the PM is also one of them, a MP first and then a PM.

We require the Lok Pal to expedite the process of sanction for prosecution for these high and mighty. Once the sanction is given, then the Judiciary can take over. Our judiciary with a few exceptions has been doing good work. The Lok Pal should not be both the sanctioning and prosecuting authority.

For corruption charges against the judiciary we should have a permanent bench of three retired Supreme Court judges who could look into the charges and sanction prosecution. The actual prosecution being carried out in normal courts.

Let us hope better sense prevails on the congress and they agree to bring the what they think as august offices under the purview of the Lok Pal Bill.

Have you noticed that the agreement with Switzerland allows for sharing of fresh tax evasion information after 2011? In one stroke our UPA government has swept all old cases under the carpet. Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdeo cannot do anything to get back that money as now the Swiss government will not agree.
Reminds one of the famous Bofors case where one arm of the government asked for records and another arm asked the Swedish government not to provide it. The Swedish government finally threw out the case.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Truth about Gaddafi & Libya

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT LIBYA

Did you know this about Libya?

Some facts that mainstream media will never disclose about "Gaddafi and Libya:

- Loans to Libyan citizens are given with NO interest.

- Students would get paid the average salary for the profession they are studying for.

- If you are unable to get employment the state would pay the full salary as if you were employed until you find employment.

- When you get married the couple gets an apartment or house for free from the Government.

- You could go to college anywhere in the world. The state pays 2,500 euros plus accommodation and car allowance.

- The cars are sold at factory cost.

- Libya does not owe money, (not a cent) to anyone. No creditors.

- Free education and health care for all citizens.

- 25% of the population with a university degree.

- No beggars on the streets and nobody is homeless (until the recent bombing).

- Bread costs only $ 0.15 per loaf.

No wonder the US and other capitalist countries do not like Libya.

Gaddafi would not consent to taking loans from IMF or World Bank at high interest rates. In other words Libya was INDEPENDENT!

That is the real reason for the war in Libya! He may be a dictator, but that is not the US problem. Also Gaddafi called on all Oil producing countries NOT to accept payment for oil in USD or Euros.

He recommended that oil get paid for in GOLD and that would have bankrupted just about every Western Country as most of them do not have gold reserves to match the rate at which they print their useless currencies.

Remember the last time someone had the "NERVE" to make a similar statement was when Saddam Hoosein advised all Opec countries not to accept payment for oil in US Dollars. Well, we all know what happened to him. Yes, they HUNG HIM.



This has been sent by Partha Sengupta.
Is this true? Why then the internal unrest??
As much as we would want to praise the USA, we still find that it is the worst devil.
They will go to any extent for the benefit for its own people and its country.
It will support tyrants and dictators as long as they serve the overall aims of the USA.
In Iraq, they wanted to control the oil and Saddam was proving to be unpliable and so Bush used the excuse of WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction) to go to war against Saddam. No WMDs were found and it made the USA look foolish but it had achieved its objective of having Iraq under its thumb.
They are playing the same game in Libya.
Although Saudi Arabia and the UAE too have dictatorships who do not allow any freedom to its people, only Libya has been selected by the USA to destabize since Gaddafi will not listen to its dictates.
Since most of the media is controlled by the western powers, their views prevail

Apples & Wines






Sent by Desmond Oliver

Friday, June 17, 2011

ALzheimer's Test

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM
2. F_ _K
3. P_N_S
4. PU_S_
5. S_X
6. BOO_S



Answers:
Given below ;











1. RANDOM
2. FORK
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong . . . didn't you?
You do NOThave Alzheimer's...
You are a Pervert!!


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Navy Seal Team 6



History is not made the way our news media and politicos write it!

This is what the Navy Seal team looked like when they went in to get Bin

Laden.

A couple of things to notice:

50 caliber sniper on the right.

Knee, knuckle and forearm protection.

Various plastic/wire ties.

Absolute identity denial to protect their families.

Free choice of footwear

Fourth from the right has three artillery simulators and CS gas grenades on

his belly. He's the 'shock and awe' guy.

Group Photo of Seal Team Six, and you can imagine the look on Bin Laden's

face when these guys came through the door?

Let's be clear on this:

OBAMA did NOT kill Bin Laden. An American sailor, who Obama just a few weeks

ago was debating on whether or not to PAY, did.

In fact, if you remember a little less than two years ago his administration

actually charged and attempted to court-martial 3 Navy Seals from Seal Team

Six, when a terrorist suspect they captured, complained they had punched him

during the take down and bloodied his nose. His administration further

commented how brutal they were. The left were calling them Nazi's and Baby

Killers. Now all of a sudden the very brave men they vilified, are now

heroes when they make his administration look good in the eyes of the

public. Obama just happened to be the one in office when the CIA finally

found the bastard and our sailors took him out.

Essentially, Obama only gave an answer. Yes or No, to him being taken out.

In fact, there is some argument on whether or not he even knew that this

operation was going down when it did.




This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!!!

Sent by Prakah Bhartia

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

New way of Stealing...................

Be sure to read Scene 3. Quite interesting.

This is a new one. People sure stay busy

trying to cheat us, don't they?

SCENE 1.
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings
in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out,
saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny,
I thought I locked the locker..

Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make
sure all was in order.

Everything looked okay - all cards were in place...

A few weeks later his credit card bill came -
a whooping bill of £14,000!

He called the credit card company and started
yelling at them, saying that he did not make
the transactions.

Customer care personnel verified that
there was no Mistake in the system and asked
if his card had been stolen..

'No,' he said, but then took out his
wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep -
you guessed it - a switch had been made.

An expired similar credit card from
the same bank was in the wallet.

The thief broke into his locker at the gym
and switched cards.

Verdict: The credit card issuer said since
he did not report the card missing earlier,
he would have to pay the amount owed
to them.

How much did he have to pay for items
he did not buy?


£9,000! Why were there no calls made to
verify the amount swiped?
Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell'
with some credit card companies.
It just so happens that all the small amounts
added up to big one!
============================


SCENE 2.
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal
with his credit card.

The bill for the meal came, he signed it and
the waitress folded the receipt and passed the
credit card along.

Usually, he would just take it and place it in his
wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he
actually took a look at the card and, lo and
behold, it was the expired card of another person.

He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.

She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to
the counter under the watchful eye of the man.

All the waitress did while walking to the counter
was wave the wrong expired card to the counter
cashier, and the counter cashier immediately
looked down and took out the real card.

No exchange of words --- nothing! She took
it and came back to the man with an apology..

Verdict:
Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.
Check the name on the card every time you
sign for something and/or the card is taken
away for even a short period of time.
Many people just take back the credit card without
even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.


FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT
OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME
IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!
==========================

SCENE 3:
Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to
pick up an order that I had called in.

I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of
course, is linked directly to my checking
account.

The young man behind the counter took my
card, swiped it, then laid it on the counter as
he waited for the approval, which is pretty
standard procedure..

While he waited, he picked up his cell phone
and started dialing.

I noticed the phone because it is the same
model I have, but nothing seemed out of the
ordinary? Then I heard a click that sounded
like my phone sounds when I take a picture.

He then gave me back my card but kept the
phone in his hand as if he was still pressing
buttons.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he
is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was
really going on.

It then dawned on me: the only thing there
was my credit card, so now I'm paying close
attention to what he is doing..

He set his phone on the counter, leaving it
open.

About five seconds later, I heard the chime
that tells you that the picture has been saved.


Now I'm standing there struggling with the
fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.

Yes, he played it off well, because had we not
had the same kind of phone, I probably would
never have known what happened.

Needless to say, I immediately cancelled
that card as I was walking out of the pizza
parlor..

All I am saying is, be aware of your
surroundings at all times.

Whenever you are using your credit card
take caution and don't be careless.

Notice who is standing near you and what
they are doing when you use your card.

Be aware of phones, because many have a
camera phone these days.


FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE
AS YOU CAN THINK OF. LET'S GET THE
WORD OUT! JUST BE AWARE
Never let your card out of your
sight.....check and check again!



Scary !!!

Sent by Kavita Acharya

Tips for pain-free hands

Unnoticed and unsung, healthy hands perform countless small tasks, from pouring your morning coffee to brushing your teeth at night. But aching hands transform even a simple task into a painful ordeal. Beneath the skin, your hands are an intricate architecture of tendons, joints, ligaments, nerves, and bones. Each of these structures is vulnerable to damage from illness or injury.

Your hands may hurt for a variety of reasons, from the mechanical to the neurological. Arthritis — which affects one in five American adults — and other persistent joint problems are by far the most common cause of hand pain and disability. Another common cause of hand pain, carpal tunnel syndrome, affects an estimated 2% to 3% of Americans. Contrary to conventional wisdom, this nerve disorder rarely results from repetitive work-related tasks, as a growing body of research reveals. True work-related musculoskeletal disorders are known as repetitive stress injuries and can be quite debilitating. But there are steps you can take to prevent them.

Help for office workers’ hands

If you work in an office, it’s a good idea to have an ergonomic evaluation of your workspace to avoid habits that may put you at risk for repetitive strain injuries. If that’s not possible, the following tips may help:

Keep your wrists in a neutral position, not flexed downward or extended upward, when using your computer. To check, place your wrist, palm facing down, on a flat, hard surface. Put a Band-Aid lengthwise over the top of your wrist, and then move to your keyboard and type. If the Band-Aid stretches or goes slack, your wrists aren’t in a neutral position.
Get up from your desk and stretch at least once every hour. In between, take shorter breaks to rest your hands, palms up, on your lap or on a wrist rest. You can install software on your computer that reminds you to take micro-pauses or rest breaks and restricts your daily time on the computer.
Be skeptical about new keyboard configurations (such as split keyboards) or mouse designs claiming to be ergonomic. It will take many years of study to learn whether such changes translate into fewer work-related upper-extremity musculoskeletal disorders.
Customizing your workstation

Ergonomics specialists who design strategies to improve the fit between workers and their jobs suggest the following arrangement for computer workstations:

Keep documents, telephone, keyboard, mouse, and supplies within easy horizontal reach — not more than 16 to 18 inches away.
Place the computer monitor directly in front of you, at arm’s length, with the top line of the screen at or slightly below eye level (possibly lower for someone with bifocals or trifocals).
Set your keyboard on an adjustable tray so that your forearms are parallel to the floor, wrists are straight and in line with your forearms, and elbows are relaxed and bent at a 90-degree angle at your waist.
Keep your mouse close to the keyboard and at the same height, possibly with a padded wrist rest.
Use an adjustable chair, with a rounded front edge and good lower- and upper-back support, positioned so that the knees are slightly lower than the hips and the feet rest firmly on the floor (or on a footrest).


The above is from a new letter I receive from harvard Medical School.
It is all common sense advise which we must have read elsewhere.
I feel it would be useful to all our readers

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

‘Tyranny of unelected’ in firing line

Cong scales up attack after letter to Sonia

New Delhi, June 13: The Congress today said “the gravest threat Indian democracy faced was from the tyranny of the unelected”, refusing to recognise a “small group of self-styled leaders” as representatives of civil society and scaling up its attack on Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev.

The onslaught assumes significance as it came in response to a letter written to Congress chief Sonia Gandhi by Anna Hazare, in which he had objected to the party describing him as a front of the RSS.

The party’s belligerence today made it clear that Sonia herself was now convinced that this group had behaved irresponsibly in the name of civil society and the time had come to act tough.

Asked what had changed the Congress’s perception within a few weeks, party spokesperson Manish Tiwari said: “These people mistook the government’s sensitivity as weakness. They started abusing the government, calling senior ministers cheats and frauds. They adopted this undemocratic approach that you accept my diktat or your intentions are suspect. They will start issuing threats. How can you deal with such people?”

The Congress has indicated that it does not accept Hazare’s main argument in his letter to Sonia that his campaign has nothing to do with the RSS. “Who was the first person Hazare praised after ending his fast at Jantar Mantar? Narendra Modi. Who was the second person? Bihar chief minister Nitish Kumar, who is supported by the BJP. When he went to Bangalore, he chose to attack the Centre instead of (chief minister) B.S. Yeddyurappa. What does it point to?” Tiwari asked

The Congress spokesperson came close to describing Hazare’s mindset as fascist. “His reactions in the last two months have been very aggressive, there is violence in his language. It almost appears he is reading the script prepared by the forces he is denying his links with. He says Indian voters are managed with money and liquor. This shows he does not believe in democracy. He regularly issues threats, abuses the government. He says accept my point or I go to fast. Is this a democratic approach? This reflects a mindset with scant regard for democratic norms.”

Responding to questions about the change in the Congress stand despite being in negotiations with the Hazare group on the Lokpal bill, Tiwari said: “Restraint cannot be a one-way street. The ministers are still engaging with them but they are calling them cheats, liars and frauds. There is no effort at reconciliation, as soon as there are differences of opinion, they start abusing and threatening. There are valid reasons for changing our assessment of these people.”

He recalled how Hazare said the government would have fallen had his Jantar Mantar campaign continued for a few days more. “Some people become victims of their own presumptions,” Tiwari said.

He accused Hazare and his aides of misusing the government’s magnanimity that was reflected in its decision to engage with a group of people who raised certain demands. He said: “There is serious confusion in the minds of the people as this group calls themselves civil society representatives.”


"Tyranny of the unelected" is the new slogan coined by the Congress party.
I would like the congress to answer what could the general population do when even 63 years after independence, the tyranny of the elected continue unabated.
What the congress did at Ramlila grounds in Delhi was nothing but tyranny.
A peaceful demonstration being carried out peacefully was broken up by force at dead of night.
Do you think India would have ever got independence if the British behaved in this manner with Gandhiji.
The Congress does not see the difference as that was another Gandhi and this one (Sonia) is just a pretender, an acquired name by marriage and so she does not realize the importance of the name. Or she is a true inheritor of the other Gandhi, Indira, who promulgated the Emergency.
The Congress has objections to Anna's praise for Narendra Modi? They fear to call a spade by its true name.
The whole world is praising Narendra Modi and Nitish Kumar, two chief Ministers where the BJP is involved in the government.
Whom does the congress want to be praised?
Sheila Dixit who is said to be involved in the CWG scam.
Or DMK Chief Minister who is an marriage with Congress?
For the 2G scam?
Or Madhu Koda with whom the Congress was bedding?
Koda is still in jail for his various scams.
Instead of giving a categorical statement giving a time bound programme for wiping out corruption, our PM says corruption cannot be removed.
It shows that the congress was not at all serious of wiping out corruption.
They were just interested in buying time so that the agitation would lose steam and then they could continue with their looting.
We have had enough of the tyranny of the elected.
Now let us listen to the unelected who lead us.
Remember, Gandhiji too was unelected

Another Godly Quiz

God decided to encourage people to have fewer children and introduced an award scheme… During the procedure at one point, he concentrated on learning about the situation in India :

He first met Jawaharlal Nehru in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during his time on earth. Nehru replied… only one!

Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded Nehru with a Celestial Rolls Royce!

Indira Gandhi was next, and God asked the same question. She replied she had two children, and God thought, not too bad, so he gave her a BMW.

Dr. Radhakrishnan was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had six children, and gave him a Morris-8 as a kind of punishment…

Lalu Yadav came next. When God came to know that he had fathered ten children, he gave him a bullock cart. Lalu went away happy as he had lived his whole life telling cock and bull stories.

Sometime later, the three (Nehru, Indira and Radhakrishnan) going around in their new cars, saw Mahatma Gandhi on foot!!!

Wondering what went wrong; they asked why God hadn't been merciful with him…

The Mahatma replied in disgust, "God did not even ask me!!!
Some idiots had told him that I am the father of the whole
Indian nation!"

A different type of Quiz

Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?

bcoz it means...

E-End of
T-thinking
C-capacity.

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How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u?

?
?
?
?
?

Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..

"I Luv u too"
.
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GAME OVER.!

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When do you knw ur in love?
Ans. When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan
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Wht is the Diff b/w
Young Age & Old Age?

*

Simple..

In Young Age
Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers..

In Old Age
Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!-
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"Why is Facebook such a hit?
It works on the principle that-

'People are more interested in others life than their own-!
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A Ques Asked In A Talent Test:
If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize Your WIFE?

The Best Answer
- Why d Hell Should I recognise?
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Doubt By association of last benchers!!
V Pronounce 22 as TwentyTwo, 33 as Thirty Three,
44 as FortyFour,
55 as FiftyFive, Why not 11 as OnetyOne?
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What is the diff.between"GHAZAL" &"LECTURE"?Every word spoken by the girlfriend is "GHAZAL"andEvery word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"
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Wats d diff btwn Pongal n idly?think.think..think...U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.

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What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL? Guess Guess Guess Guess "FOOLAN DEVI..
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Why does d bride & groom xchange garlands at d time of wedding..... B'coz they say each affectionately that : "DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...........
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What is the height of confusion? Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
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Wat is d Biggest Benefit of having a crush in d same college where u study ?
.
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.
.
.
.
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.
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.
100% Attendence... :-P

-----------------------------------------

QUES - Where can u see mangoes? On mango trees? NO.At fruit shop? WRONG AGAIN....Fir kaha?
ANS - Jaha jaha women go,piche piche Man(goes).

-----------------------------------------

Teacher: What Is The Differnce HIMAMI
&
SUNAMI ?
Tintu: HIMAMI is Face Wash,
SUNAMI is Total Wash.!
-----------------------------------------


Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Sunday, June 12, 2011

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010

Hari Om, RS

The times,they are a changing

Best wishes,
Matt


Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark.. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programs

Scenario:
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

20010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2010 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bull-ant nest.

1957 - Ants die.

2010- State Police, Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary . Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 -

In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.


How stupid we have become! Think about it! What will it be like in the year 2057.

There must be a stage in between 1957 and 2010 that would be a compromise between the two.


Sent by Sir, Mr. Lobo.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Who's your babys Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way...
Who's your baby's Daddy? Genuine or not, these are funny!!!! Pick a winner.
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.
2... I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks... (The runner-up).
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.
8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... well, I don't have clue..
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. (This made number #1).


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Friday, June 10, 2011

Vegetarian Meat?



UNKILLED HAMBURGER MEAT
Note To Al l Hunters:
This is from a San Francisco newspaper
UNKILLED HAMBURGER MEAT


Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives & votes.
AND, may have already reproduced.
God help America .
This helps explain why and how Nancy Pelosi got reelected.
This is from her district.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia.

I suppose the above news is similar to the following of the Facebook founder.

"Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg faced up to this reality in announcing recently that he'd no longer eat meat unless he'd killed the animals himself. This of course means, according to him, that he's reduced his meat consumption substantially. He then proceeded to slaughter some animals with a knife held in his own two hands. He's presumably eaten these animals.

Many Americans expressed shock at the act and sympathized with the animals he killed. Some condemned Zuckerberg, accusing him of being cruel."

Does it make any difference to the animal as to who had killed it?

By the way, I have found Facebook to be too intrusive.
One message sent by anybody is bounced about umpteen times trough all your friends group and shows up in your mailbox.
I have stopped reading all Facebook notifications and would like to completely withdraw from Facebook.
Can anyone guide me how I can withdraw completely.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

India's second freedom struggle

By PTI, Wednesday, 08 June 2011, 15:51 IST
NEW DELHI: Taking on the government, civil rights activist Anna Hazare on Wednesday went on a day-long fast at Rajghat, declaring that his agitation against corruption was the "second freedom struggle" and threatened another hunger strike from August 16 if Lokpal Bill is not passed by then.

He accused the government of putting "hurdles" in the drafting of Lokpal Bill and trying to defame the civil society members of the joint panel, such as Shanti Bhushan, Prashant Bhushan, Santosh Hegde and Arvind Kejriwal through a "discreet" campaign.

Hazare, joined by his associates and a few thousand supporters, went on the hunger strike to protest the police crackdown on Baba Ramdev's supporters during their agitation against corruption here on Saturday night, which he termed as a "blot on humanity" and attempt to "stifle democracy".

After paying floral tributes at Mahatma Gandhi's samadhi, he reached the protest site at around 10.20 am to a rousing welcome from supporters who assembled there amid heavy police presence.

"Mahatma Gandhi fought for our freedom but we are yet to achieve real independence. The second struggle of independence has started. We are ready to sacrifice our lives but will not buckle under pressure," Hazare said.

Mounting pressure on the government to quickly enact a law to curb corruption, he said he will launch an indefinite fast at Jantar Mantar here from August 16 if the Lokpal Bill is not passed by then.

Hazare's indefinite fast in April had evoked nationwide support forcing the government to set up a joint committee of civil society members and ministers to draft the bill.


I am glad Anna has seen through the government's game.
They use delaying tactics so that the momentum of the agitation goes down with time and then everything goes on as usual.

The politicians by their very nature are scheming, cunning , lying who will not balk at anything. They won't hesitate to do things which a gentleman wouldn't think of doing and that includes our soft spoken prime minister. He was a statesman once but now he too has become a run of the mill politician.

"My Vitamin F"

Why do I have a variety of friends who are all different in character ?

Some of them can be considered marginal even ?

How do I get on with them all ?

I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me...

With one of them I am a polite, good BOY.
I
joke with another friend.

I sit down and talk about serious matters with one of them.

With another I giggle at every silly thing.
I
have my wine with one

And dance with another.

I listen to one friend's problems and give her advice

Then I listen to another advising me.

They are all like pieces of a jigsaw,

When completed they form a treasure box.A treasure of friends!

They are my friends who understand me better than myself,

who support me through good days and bad days.

They are like colourful anti-depressants that I take on different days.

Real Age doctors tell us that friends are good for our health.

Dr. Oz calls them Vitamins F (from Friends) and counts the benefits of
friends to our well being.

Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression
and terminal strokes. If you take Vitamin F constantly you can be up
to 30 years younger than your real age. The warmth of friendship stops
stress and even in your tense moments it decreases the chance of a
cardiac arrest or stroke by 50 %.

I am so happy that I have a stock of Vitamins F!

In summary we should value our friends and keep in touch with them.
We should try to see the funny side of things and laugh together, not forgetting
to open our mouths big to swallow the floating vitamins F !!!!

Best Wishes,

Marguerite

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Case against Digvijay for calling Ramdev 'thug'

Patna, June 6 (1ANS) A Bihar court Monday admitted a complaint seeking to register a case of sedition against Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh for calling yoga guru Baba Ramdev a "thug".

The chief judicial magistrate in Muzaffarpur, about 70 km from here, accepted the complaint filed by advocate Sudhir Ojha.

Ohja sought to book Digvijay Singh for sedition, provoking so as to cause riot and causing insult.

Ojha said the court will hear the case June 16.

"Millions of followers of Baba Ramdev were hurt by Digvijay Singh's bad language," the petitioner said.

The Congress leader Sunday called Ramdev a thug after the midnight police action that led to Ramdev's expulsion from Delhi.


Has it anything to do with the state of Madhya Pradesh?
We had another leader from M P, the Late Arjun Singh, who used to talk in this manner and now Digvjay Singh.
This is not the first time that Diggy Raja has talked in the nonsensical manner. It has become a habit with him.
I hope this case can rein him in which I doubt.
Every time he opens his mouth only esxreta pours out.

Enough laws to tackle black money: Sharma

Union Commerce and Industry Minister Anand Sharma on Sunday said there were enough laws to tackle black money and added that Parliament cannot take a dictation from self-appointed crusaders.

Talking to The Indian Express, Sharma, who returned Sunday evening from a trip to Chennai and Bangalore, said, “There are enough laws to tackle ill gotten money — be it from money laundering, crime or drug trafficking. The government’s actions so far were only to defuse the tension.”

The minister admitted that such events did result in a negative projection of India in international forums. “But, our global partners will surely see through the political agenda,” Sharma said. “India has a rule-based governance system. Such decisions cannot be made in the streets and chowks.”

The issue of black money is complex and the government is seriously addressing it. “We have signed agreements with a large number of countries including the Bahamas, Channel Islands, Switzerland. India is also part of the international task force set up on this issue by the G-20. The government is sincere and committed to tackling the black money issue,” he said.


Mr. Anand Sharma is right.
There are sufficient laws but they are never implemented and the people have lost faith in these corrupt leaders.
To prosecute any government servant you have to the obtain sanction of higher-ups and this sanction is not given 99% of the time as the whole bunch are crooks.
The benefit of the Lok pal would be to give the sanction without waiting for the sanction from corrupt cronies.
How serious the government is in tackling corruption was shown by the way they tried to hoist a person who was under investigation as the Central Vigilance Commissioner.
For the first time in the history of India, the character of the Chief justice of India has come under cloud. Such is the selection of the UPA government and they expect us to believe them.
Swami Ramdeo has just asked to free India of corruption but that is too much for them as they are all corrupt.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

BJP blames PM, Sonia for police crackdown on Ramdev supporters

Lucknow/New Delhi, June 5 (PTI) Dubbing the police action on "peaceful and unarmed" people at Baba Ramdev''s hunger strike as a "shameful" chapter in India''s democracy, BJP today accused Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Congress chief Sonia Gandhi of ordering the crackdown.
The party announced it would hold protests across the country against corruption and "police brutality" against Ramdev and his followers.
"The incident that took place yesterday at midnight at the Ramlila ground is one that has blemished democracy. Those people were protesting against corruption and black money through democratic means. But Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi ordered the atrocities on these people," BJP President Nitin Gadkari said in Lucknow.
Expressing similar sentiments in Delhi, Leader of the Opposition in the Lok Sabha Sushma Swaraj said the police action was carried out at the directions of the Prime Minister and had the "full approval" of the Congress President.
She said the crackdown was carried out after consulting Home Minister P Chidambaram and HRD Minister Kapil Sibal.
"This is not democracy...the police cannot alone had taken such a styep. It had the approval of the Prime Minister and full approval of the Congress President," Swaraj said.
Her counterpart in the Rajya Sabha, Arun Jaitley said while government refuses to take action against separatist leaders like Syed Ali Shah Geelani who held a programme in the capital, it took action against a "patriotic sanyasi".
"No action was taken againt Geelani who held a programme challenging the Indian state. A person accused of sedition (activist Binayak Sen) is included in a government panel. But a patriotic sanyasi has no right to protest," he quipped. .Ramdev supporters
PTI – 58 minutes ago

Lucknow/New Delhi, June 5 (PTI) Dubbing the police action on "peaceful and unarmed" people at Baba Ramdev''s hunger strike as a "shameful" chapter in India''s democracy, BJP today accused Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Congress chief Sonia Gandhi of ordering the crackdown.

The party announced it would hold protests across the country against corruption and "police brutality" against Ramdev and his followers.
"The incident that took place yesterday at midnight at the Ramlila ground is one that has blemished democracy. Those people were protesting against corruption and black money through democratic means. But Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi ordered the atrocities on these people," BJP President Nitin Gadkari said in Lucknow.
Expressing similar sentiments in Delhi, Leader of the Opposition in the Lok Sabha Sushma Swaraj said the police action was carried out at the directions of the Prime Minister and had the "full approval" of the Congress President.
She said the crackdown was carried out after consulting Home Minister P Chidambaram and HRD Minister Kapil Sibal.

"This is not democracy...the police cannot alone had taken such a styep. It had the approval of the Prime Minister and full approval of the Congress President," Swaraj said.

Her counterpart in the Rajya Sabha, Arun Jaitley said while government refuses to take action against separatist leaders like Syed Ali Shah Geelani who held a programme in the capital, it took action against a "patriotic sanyasi".
"No action was taken againt Geelani who held a programme challenging the Indian state. A person accused of sedition (activist Binayak Sen) is included in a government panel. But a patriotic sanyasi has no right to protest," he quipped. .


The TV pictures being shown of the attack on Swami Ramdeo's supporters show that the British were very lenient at Jallianwalla Bagh.
A very shameful act by the Congress government reminiscent of the Declaration of Emergency by Indira Gandhi.
As my mother used to show, we were much better off under the British.
They were at least civilized but our home grown leaders are just savages.
It reminds me of similar action which was taken in my Gurudev's ashram by the Gujarat police on the ladies, old people and sadhaks.
The BJP is now baying for the congresses blood.
What were they doing when that Ashram was attacked by the Gujarat government which is BJP ruled?