Friday, September 30, 2011

Do you know Jesus Christ?

An old nun who was living in a convent near a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them.

She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

She walked up to the group and with a big smile said:
"Do you men know Jesus Christ ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused.

One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ ?"

One of the steelworkers yelled down 'why'?
The worker yelled back,

"Cos his wife's here with his lunch"


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Thursday, September 29, 2011

TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up..
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken..
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music..
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what is going on.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia
Each of them is a gem although I must confess I did not understand 19,22,23

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Weight Loss Program

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Richard Hayward

Extremely sad to learn of the passing away of Richard Hayward. He was a tall person and very jolly. I remember quite a few incidents he was involved in when he was in school. I recall them now very clearly. All deaths are sad. I convey my sincere condolences to his family, especially to Keith as he was very much attached to Richard. May his soul rest in peace.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Richard Hayward - passes away

To all our family and friends,with sadness my brother Richard passed away a few minutes ago with cancer.Forgive me but im lost for words and will try to give you some details soon. Thanks, Keith.

Francis John Porter 3:16am Sep 28
It is with great sadness that I must pass on the news of the passing of a very dear friend Richard Hayward, of cancer. A gentle giant who I knew in both GMS and La Martiniere. My heart goes out to Linda & Fly and his brother Keith and Fly. Fare thee Well our Gentle Giant.

Keith:

Please accept my sincerest condolences for your tremendous loss. I am very saddened. The departed is a person I once knew. I can still picture him [at GMS] as this big strapping, jolly fellow; friendly and open. Since I too have gone through the experience of the loss of a brother, I can deeply empathise with you. You are absolutely correct: there are no words to describe the pain you feel. Nor are there words with which one might console.

Safiul

Keith,

My sincere condolences. I was very fond of Richard and it is very difficult to believe the big man is no more. He was a gentle and kind soul and I do remember him affectionately. It is a hard blow even though we have not been in touch for decades.

Minoo Avari

Bomb Helpline

Tring-tring---tring-tring---tring-tring

Welcome to the Bomb explosion helpline of Home Department, Government of
India.

Press 1 for latest bomb explosions
Press 2 to hear Home Ministers pre-recorded reaction.
Press 3 to hear Prime Ministers pre-recorded claims to condemn it and
assurance to take strong action against culprits and there would be zero tolerance towards terrorism.
Press 4 to know whether anybody claimed responsibility for the explosion.
Press 5 to hear prerecorded claim of Digvijay Singh blaming RSS for explosions.
Press 6 to know whether any terrorist has been arrested by mistake; please be assured the Congress would give him 5-star treatment.
Press 7 to hear messages like terrorism has no religion.
Press 8 if you want Rahul Gandhi to visit the poor in villages.
Press 9 if your relative has died in the explosion to hear Gandhijis bhajan.

If you were severely injured in the explosion and still alive, then press your own neck for bringing this corrupt and anti national government to power.

Thank you for calling.


Sent by Keith Hayward

PASS THE BISCUITS

When I was a kid, my Mum liked to make breakfast food for dinner
every now & then & I remember one night in particular when she had
made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening
so long ago, my Mum placed a plate of eggs, sausage,
and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting
to see if anyone noticed!
Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mum
and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing
my Mum apologize to my dad
for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said:
"Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him
if he really liked his biscuits burned.
He wrapped me in his arms and said,
"Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired.
And besides... A burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things... And imperfect people.
I'm not the best at hardly anything,
and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others
faults and choosing to celebrate
each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys
to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So...please pass me a biscuit. And yes, the burned one will do just fine!
And please pass this along to someone
who has enriched your life...I just did!

Life is too short to wake up with regrets... Love the people who treat you right
and forget about the ones who don't.

ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Attendant shot for demanding Rs 21 toll at Gurgaon Expressway

In a gruesome incident, a toll plaza attendant at Gurgaon Expressway was shot dead after he asked for toll charges of Rs 21 from a Mahindra Bolero owner on Thursday night. The incident took place when there were several other commuters in the queue at the Delhi-Gurgaon Super Connectivity Limited (DSCL) toll plaza.

The 22-year-old toll tax collector has been identified as Umeshkant Pandey, a native of Naharpur Village, Gurgaon. The accused who was driving the vehicle is still absconding and police is hopeful of tracing him soon and examining the CCTV footage.

Police said that Pandey was manning lane no-1 and was shot dead over a dispute over toll charges by one unidentified commuter who was inside his Bolero vehicle. “The bizarre thing is that the CCTV footage is not able to identify the accused, as it is not showing the number plate of the accused car and is showing only the right hand of the accused,” said a senior police official.

The incident occurred when one white Bolero car stopped at lane no-1 and the unknown driver sitting inside the car refused to pay tax to the victim. When the victim prevented him and didn’t let him go without paying the tax, the accused threatened him and took out his gun and shot him on his neck. The gun was so sophisticated that several commuters waiting for their turn could not hear the sound of firing. The accused drove away from the spot with his car. “The victim fell down in his cabin and bled profusely. The other employees got alarmed following which commuters came to know about the incident. The victim was rushed to the nearby Medanta Hospital where the doctors declared him brought dead. A case was registered by one TR Sharma manager (DSCL) at Kherki Daula Police Station and is being investigated by the police. The police have registered a case under Section-302 of the IPC,” said Vinay Kumar, Investing Officer.

The victim had been working as a toll collector for the last six months. Pandey was married three months and is survived by his wife and parents. The DSC Limited employees expressed their condolences to the family of the victim and have raised several questions over the lapses in security in Gurgaon.


The above is from "the Pioneer"

See, life has become so cheap in India that for just Rs 21/- a sum which was demanded for toll, not for a bribe, a person is shot dead.
This is again because of politicians.
I will wager the person who used the gun will be having political connections that is why he did not fear using the gun for such a paltry sum.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Negligence costs Bangalore's Fortis Hospital its licence to transplant organs

Fortis Hospital, Bannerghatta Road, has lost its licence to transplant kidneys, livers and to conduct homograft “with immediate effect” following a case of negligence which led to the death of an army officer’s wife last year.

The hospital was found to have performed the transplantation of pancreas despite having licence to transplant only kidneys, livers and conduct homograft.
The licence cancellation order was issued by the commissioner of health, family welfare & ayush services via order number JD (Medical)/ MDM/23/2011-12, dated September 12, 2011.

The commissioner issued the hospital’s licence cancellation order after the then Lok Ayukta N Santosh Hegde’s investigations found the hospital guilty of violation and negligence leading to death.

Major (Retd) Pankaj Rai, who lost his wife to the negligence by the hospital, had appealed to the Lok Ayukta to initiate action against the hospital. The investigations confirmed that Major Rai’s wife had indeed died as the hospital doctors had performed a surgery to transplant her pancreas although the hospital did not have the licence to do so.

The case had reached the high court, which ruled in favour of Major Rai and directed the commissioner of health, family welfare & ayush services to cancel the licence of the hospital to transplant.

The case came to the fore after Rajya Sabha MP Rajeev Chandrasekhar took up the issue in response to a plea for help from Major Rai after the latter’s wife had died due to alleged negligence on the part of the hospital. Chandrasekhar had followed it up with Union health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad as well as then Karnataka health minister B Sriramulu to ensure that justice was done.

Dr Lloyd Nazareth, chief operating officer, Fortis Hospital, said: “Fortis Hospital does indeed have permission to conduct liver and other abdominal organs, including pancreas transplantation. The interpretation of the transplant rules under the act by the department has been inconsistent and varied as per the understanding of the person implementing the rules. It is unfortunate that the department which has all through held and testified that Fortis Hospital has a licence has reversed its stand and has now cancelled the licence. Fortis Hospital is aggrieved by this action and will be making appropriate representation to the government and will be seeking legal remedy if necessary.”

Maj Rai, who endured the 16-month ordeal after his wife’s death, told DNA: “Doctors who take life of innocent patients should not be let free. And mine is not the only case. There are several cases of medical negligence taking place and action needs to be taken. I have now appealed to the Medical Council of India. Soon according to the protocol, Government of Karnataka will also file a criminal case against the doctors concerned and the hospital.”


The above is from the DNA, Mumbai
It came in my mailbox through PBT, a newsletter sent by Dr. Saha who himself lost his wife Anuradha owing to medical negligence by the doctors of AMRI group in Kolkata.

Some time back, on 9th September,I had reported the negligence of Fortis Hospital, Delhi, which had resulted in the death of Rupali Sharma.I think Fortis group of Hospitals is setting a record of sorts and they are competing with the Apollo group of Chennai and AMRI group of Kolkata to win the award for Hospitals who can kill the maximum number of patients.

I would suggest all our readers in India to subscribe to Dr. Saha's newsletter at http://pbtindia.com/ so that they are kept updated of the various acts of omission and commission of different hospitals, all over India.

Unfortunately, the people connected with these hospitals are so powerful that not everybody can manage to withstand their money and political power and clout and file cases and win against them. So, if anybody does win, it is commendable.

Winds of change sweeping Bihar

Patna, Sep 24 (ANI): Bihar is pioneering development in the country, as it is being able to effectively transform itself from a failed state to a developing one.
The state has earned much praise for the initiatives taken by the government, including the school cycle scheme to increase the enrollment of girls in schools and the scheme of 50 per cent reservation for women at village-level politics.
Praising the winds of change that have swept Bihar, locals said that this development has earned them the praise of other countries.
"Patna has developed over the last few years. There are new buildings and malls that are being constructed. In fact, there are a lot of avenues for marketing. A lot of tourists come here. The city has become beautiful. There is a lot of cleanliness in the city. So, everything is nice here. The roads here are very wide too," said Tahur Ahmad.
There has been a wave of development in Bihar, which has changed the face of the poor and backward regions, fast-tracking the process of growth.
There have been a slew of policy measures that have been in operation slated to bring benefit to communities including Antyodaya, Annapurna, Vikas Mitra, Maha Dalit Poshak Yojna, and Dashrath Manjhi Kaushal Development Schemes.
In addition, foreign investors are also looking at Bihar in a positive light.
"Bihar has really developed. The most important thing is that an atmosphere of development has been created here. There is an atmosphere of happiness too and the environment is conducive for traders to flourish. Foreign investors come here since there is scope for growth. If we are in difficulty, then they would be turned away as well. You can see that a lot of big companies like Britannia, Parle and Nestle are venturing into Bihar," O.P.Saha, Chairman, Bihar Chamber of Commerce.
"The last five to six years have been a turning point for Bihar. After independence, we have seen the rate of development and the situation of non-development, since we have been residents of Bihar from the very beginning. We have studied as well as worked here. So, we have seen that 2005-2006 was a turning point for Bihar," said Puro Kumar Ahsan, economist.


I have a soft corner for Bihar.
It was the state which provided me employment between 1977 to 1979.
It was the state where I passed my Mechanical Engineering.
It was the state which gave us a home after we came over from Bangladesh in 1963.
However, we always used to say in hushed tones that we were from Bihar for fear of becoming the target of ridicule of our audience.
And why not?
It was the state with the highest incidence of crime of all types. Rape, murder, extortion, Bihar led it.
It was also the state where bonafide train passengers were made to sit on their reserved berths while rowdies occupied their reserved berths.
Thanks to Nitish Kumar, that has all changed and Bihar is now a shining example to the rest of India.
Can Bengal, under Mamata Banerjee show the same turnaround?
Only time will tell.
However, it cannot go below the level to which the CPM had taken to Bengal in its three decade rule.

Swiss willing to reveal all

SAURABH SHUKLA NEW DELHI, SEPTEMBER 21, 2011 | UPDATED 15:32 IST
Black money: Switzerland ready to reveal list of Indians, awaits request from govt

Swiss ambassador to India Phillipe Welti.

Breaking its silence on the black money issue, the Swiss government on Wednesday dropped a bombshell saying that it is ready to share list of tax-evaders with India fast.

Swiss ambassador to India Phillipe Welti on Wednesday told Headlines Today, "We don't need the account number of the suspect Indians. Just give us the name. We can share the data fast."

This is a significant statement considering that the government has been hiding behind the procedural problems in seeking the list of Indians from Switzerland.

"Indian assets worth at least $two billion are parked in Swiss banks, according to our figures," the envoy told Foreign Affairs Editor Saurabh Shukla.

The envoy's revelations come ahead of President Pratibha Patil's visit to Switzerland on October 3-4.
Significantly, he said, the Swiss authorities have relaxed norms, and hence, only the name is required. "You don't need the account number. Even if you have the name, this is sufficient," he added.

But he said the political will is required by India. "We are ready to give names."

Responding to a question on the Double-Taxation Avoidance Treaty Ratification done by both Parliament, the envoy said under the Swiss law a referendum is required for the treaty to come into force but since no demand has been received, the decks are clear for the exchange of data. "Now we can exchange details after exchanging instruments of the treaty after October 7," he said.
Welti also indicated that if India put diplomatic pressure or presented individual cases, the Swiss government can provide data even without the treaty. "The necessary tools are there. It depends on the political will of the Indian government," he said.

"It is for the Indian government to make a case that they want the details of tax evasion," he said.
In another revelation, he said no request for sharing of data has been received so far from the Indian government.

"If they submit the request, we will be willing to share. I haven't seen the request going through me," Welti concluded.

Senior BJP leader Balbir Punj said the party would take up the issue and said that following the envoy's statement the Indian government should forward the names of all the members of Parliament and ministers to the Swiss government to ascertain if they had accounts in Swiss banks.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

The Swiss are ready to reveal all but will the government bite bait?
I doubt it unless it is again forced to do so.
Seeing how the government always moved two steps forward and four steps back in the Bofors investigation and seeing the actors are the same, Rajiv's family, I doubt whether the government will take action unless forced to do so by Anna Hazare

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: I'm sorry.

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

All my life, I've been the pencil. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

This is to all the parents and children out there !


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Washing Clothes


A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast,
The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the
Wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
Cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
Depends on the purity of the window through which we look!


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Friday, September 23, 2011

What are Cattle Guards

Joe asks for 6 months of retraining for 'Cattle Guards'!

You will love this one; I haven't stop laughing yet.
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the 'guards', probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. (People in the south also know what cattle guards are.)


A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the cattle guards immediately!
Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden intervened with a request that...before any cattle guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining for Arizona border guards. "Times are hard", said Joe Biden, "it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families!"
And these two guys are running our country!
Passed on to you without further comment...

And they called George W. Bush stupid!!!!


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Thursday, September 22, 2011

REDNECK IN ALABAMA -----------

A small zoo in Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions.

1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

4. And last of all, Bobby Lee stated "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00."


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Dr Graham's Homes

100-year Graham's takes a battering

Kalimpong, Sept. 20: Sunday's earthquake has caused extensive damage to the 111-year-old Dr. Graham's Homes, forcing authorities of the premier educational institution in the hill town to suspend classes from nursery to Class VIII till October 10.
The school will remain open for students of Classes IX, X, XI and XII.
The quake has damaged 19 of the 22 cottages that house the co-ed school's 900-odd boarders. Some classrooms, too, have developed cracks. The Katherine Memorial Chapel and the Steele Memorial Centre, the school's infirmary, have also developed multiple cracks.
Seven of the 19 damaged cottages have been evacuated. "We have accommodated the boarders from the seven cottages in other cottages and the KG section," headmaster S.L. Banerjee said.
Most of the damaged cottages are over 100 years old.
Spread over 500 acres, the school, founded in 1900 by Scottish missionary Dr John A. Graham, also has a workshop, a bakery, three playgrounds and a farm.
The headmaster said some of the 11 staff quarters, including his, had suffered structural damage. "Initially we thought we would carry out repairs during the Puja holidays (scheduled from October 2 to 10). However, engineers advised us that given the widespread damage, it would take more time to repair the structures. That is why we decided to suspend classes from nursery to Class VIII from today till October 10," he added.
The school has a student strength of 1,460, of whom 920 are boarders.
The boarders whose classes have been suspended have started leaving for their homes. "They will return on October 11 and, normally, classes will resume the next day," Banerjee said.
The headmaster said the damaged structures didn't appear to be beyond repair. "We have not estimated the damage caused to our property. We will have to look at the comparative costs of restoration and of rebuilding the damaged properties," he added.
The seven other ICSE schools in the town resumed classes from today after a day's holiday following the quake.
"The other schools have not suffered much damage," said E.B. Sherpa, the president of the Kalimpong unit of the Janmukti Secondary Teachers' Organisation's ICSE/CBSE wing.
Sherpa said his organisation would soon hold a meeting to discuss the damage caused to Dr. Graham's Homes.
"Homes is a heritage school of not just Kalimpong but the entire hills," he said. "We will all come together to help Homes recover from the destruction."


For those associated with Dr.Graham's Homes, this is a sad event.
I had visited it once during Inter-school sports.
It is a beautiful place.
Let us hope it build's itself fast, as I know it will.

A vegetarian diet

How good is a vegetarian diet?

Prakash Bhartia, explains below



This woman is 51

Karan Diwan is a TV health guru advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and health, promoting exercise, a vegetarian diet of organic fruits and vegetables. She recommends detox diets, Colonic irrigation and supplements, also states that yeast is harmful, that the color of food is nutritionally significant, and the utility of lingual and fecal examination.

This woman is 50

Nigella Lawson is a TV cook in Great Britain , who eats nothing but meat, butter and desserts.
I REST MY CASE

Monday, September 19, 2011

What's in a name?

Manas Chakravarty, Hindustan Times
September 03, 2011

I've been reading the rot people have been talking about West Bengal's name change to Paschimbanga and it's time to set the record straight. There's no such thing as Paschimbanga. Just as there never was any person called Rabindranath Tagore, nor anyone called Mamata Banerjee and it certainly isn't Manas Chakravarty who's writing this column.

Nope, these names are mere masks we Bongs put on when dealing with non-Bongs. The new name is actually Posh chim bongo, rhyming with Congo. The best way for non-Bongs to pronounce it is to pop a rossogolla into their mouths. The name of the bhodrolok who won the Nobel for literature is Robindronath Thakur, often called simply Robi Thakur. Poshchimbongo's chief minister is Mawmota, while yours truly in real life - and here I'm laying bare my soul - is Manosh Chawkroborty.

The problem is the Bengali language lacks one of the most basic sounds, that of the short 'a'. So words like 'card', 'shall', etc become cord and sholl. The hip-hop phrase, 'He's da man' for a real cool guy was undoubtedly coined by a Bong. We also lack the letters 'v', 'w' and 'y', often say 'sh' instead of 's', while getting our tongues around 'z' is an ordeal. The results have spawned many Bong jokes, my favourite being: 'What do you call a Bengali wedding? A bedding'. In fact, we changed the name West Bengal simply because we couldn't pronounce West, instead calling it Bhest Bengal. These limitations have shaped Bong temperament, our culture and our entire outlook on life.

For example, the reason why the political right hasn't done well in Poshchimbongo is because we have enormous trouble pronouncing the Sangh parivar. It's tortured out of recognition to become the Shongho poribar. Just think what happens to swayamsevak with the 's' becoming 'sh', the 'w' non-existent, the 'a' becoming an 'o' and the 'v' transformed into a 'b'. Who in his right mind would ever listen to a shoiongshebok? I remember Mamata rushing to Atal Bihari Vajpayee on one occasion, shouting "Awtol-jee", "Awtol-jee", while Vajpayee looked around anxiously hither and thither trying to find out who on earth "Awtol" was.

Our history too has been shaped by language. While we had no problems with Gandhi, both Mohandas and Karamchand were a challenge. Jawaharlal was a real tongue-twister, becoming Jawoahawrlal, and Bengal turned to communism in despair. Another reason why Bengal is different from the national mainstream is our inability to sing 'Jana Gana Mana'- we sing 'Jawno Gawno Mawno' instead. But Sonia and Rahul are fine, although Manmohan is dicey.

We all know the Bong who works is a work of fiction. You see, 'work' becomes 'oaark' in Bong. Obviously 'oaark' is not the same thing as 'work'. But we are certainly not lazy, only lajee.
Bengali does, however, have one thing in common with English - inanimate objects have no gender. So while in Hindi (which eternally confuses the Bongo) where every word has a gender, for ex. a Bus is female and sky is male, a Bong has no idea whether a bus is male or female and consequently hasn't a clue whether, in Hindi, 'bus chal raha hai' or 'chal rahi hai'. The upshot is that while we may mangle the English language, when it comes to Hindi we mercilessly hack it into little pieces and fry it in boiling oil. That is why one of my dreams is to hear Pronob-da make the Budget speech in Hindi.

And phor all those non-Bongs who oaant to make phaan of aas, I oarn them: Beoare, oaat Poshchimbongo shays today, India uill shay tomorrow.

Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint. The views expressed by the author are personal


Sent by Arun Shroff

RAJIV GANDHI IN SWISS PAPER (1991)

Swiss Bank Account of Rajiv Gandhi - This is why Govt. resists any campaign against corruption!

Attached is a photo from a Swiss Magazine Schweizer Illustriertein (November 1991) - it shows the top holders of Swiss bank accounts at the time.
Rajiv appears in the august company of other dictators like Saddam Hussein, Suharto of Indonesia, etc.
The text below Rajiv's photo reads: Rajiv Gandhi, Indian, holds 2.5 billion Swiss Francs (eq. to 13,200 Crores in 1991).
Till date, the Congress party has never refuted / spoken about these allegations.
These are our great leaders on whose birth & death anniversaries the government uses the tax payer's money to lavishly advertise their so-called 'achievements' in all national newspapers!



Anna Hazare says bring back the Black Money. Do u know what will happen if Rs. 11,456 Lac Crores comes back. ...

1 ) India Financially No.1

2 ) Each district will get 60000 crores.1 & 1 village will get 100 Crores

3 ) No need to pay taxes for next 20 yrs.

4 ) Petrol 25 Rs,19,Diesel 15 Rs,Milk Rs.

5 ) No need to pay electricity bill.

6 ) Indian borders will become more stronger than the China Wall.

7 ) 1500 Oxford like Universities can be opened.

8 ) 28,000 kms Rubber road (like in Paris ) can be made.

9 ) 2,000 hospitals (with all facilities) all medicine Free.

10 ) 95 Crore people will have their own house.


Sent by Partha Sengupta.

Did you know that our government has signed an agreement in May this year to avoid double taxation?
In the agreement, the government has agreed not to delve into those cases where money has been deposited in Swiss Bank accounts prior to the date of signing the agreement.

So Rajiv Gandhi and his heirs and all those who have deposited money in Swiss banks prior to that date can sleep peacefully.

So much for getting back all our wealth which has bee deposited there.

Tha Plane Crash

A large jet plane crashed on a remote farm in the middle of rural Kentucky.
Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the
farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally
destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that
bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no
remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far
away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's
tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."
President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"He kept a-saying he wasn't............. But you know how bad that sumbitch lies..."


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Earthquake!


http://cnnmobile.com/primary/_efohfY-ikrUejcfAI1#page2
Trust all of you folks in Sikkim, N. Bengal & Nepal are safe and well.
Prayers & Good Wishes,
VPT


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Some Photographs of Darj













Some photographs of Darjeeling sent by U Banerjee, N P

A 5-yr old's first job --- a Classic!

From the mouths of babes......

5 Yr Old's First Job

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take the ten dollars she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."


Kind of brings a tear to your eye - doesn't it?


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Friday, September 16, 2011

Karnataka Lokayukta in land allotment tangle

Barely one-and-half months after assuming office, Karnataka [ Images ] Lokayukta Shivaraj Patil has landed in a row for securing allotment of two residential plots from two housing cooperative societies violating rules.

However, Patil, a retired Supreme Court judge, defended himself, stating that his wife had purchased one of the sites.

Patil was allotted a site measuring 9,600 sqft at Allalasandra on the city outskirts in the residential layout formed by Karnataka State Judicial Department Employees House Building Cooperative Society in 1994.

His wife Annapura was allotted another site measuring about 4,012 sq ft at Nagawara by Vyalikaval House Building Cooperative Society in 2006.

Under the norms, the allotments violate Sec 10 (a) of the model bye-law framed for House Building Cooperative Societies which bars any member or his family who has been allotted a site by a society from getting another in the name of other family members.

In the wake of criticism over allotment of sites to Patil and his wife, the Lokayukta said he has advised his wife to return the plot to Vyalikaval House Building Cooperative Society.

"A letter has been given to the Society surrendering the site allotted to my wife on September 14", Patil told reporters at Raichur in North Karnataka.

"The Vyalikaval House Building Society had lot of debts and members of the Society who are government nominees approached the government seeking permission to sell sites for outright sale. My wife purchased one in outright sale. Once that is done, restrictions on a family member owning another does not arise", Patil said.

He, however, said he was not going into its legality and has advised his wife to surrender the site on moral grounds as he holds the post of Lokayukta.

Patil also defended allotment of a site to him in the judicial layout and added the issue of allotment of sites to judges has been settled by the Supreme Court and High Court.

Janata Dal-Secular spokesperson Y S V Datta demanded that "legally, technically and morally" Patil should quit as Lokayukta.

He said since Vyalikaval House Building Society has favoured family members of former Chief Minister B S Yeddyurappa [ Images ] by allotting land in its layout and is before the Lokayukta probe, Patil cannot continue in the post.

A Supreme Court judge will certainly have knowledge about rules and regulations, he said. Patil assumed office on August 4 succeeding Justice Santosh Hegde


After the high standard set by the previous Lokayukta,Justice Santosh Hegde, it is unfortunate that the present one should land into problem so soon after taking charge.
I propose that before any person is appointed to a high ranking post in the government, they should be grilled into all aspects of their lives like they do in the USA. Only those who pass through this stringent grilling should be allowed to hold the post.
Any person applying for a job, even as a peon, has to appear in an interview.
Why shouldn't these persons be interviewed to see whether they are capable, honest and whether they have any skeletons in their cupboard.
All ministers, judges, election commissioners,CVC, Lokpals and Lokayuktas should fce such grilling.

iNCREDIBLE iNDIA

1. We live in a nation where Rice is Rs.40/- per kg and Sim Card is free.
2. Pizza reaches home faster than Ambulance and Police.
3. Car loan @ 5% but education loan @ 12%.
4. Students with 45% get in elite institutions thru quota system and those with
90% get out because of merit.
5. Where a millionaire can buy a cricket team instead of donating the money to any charity. 2 IPL teams are auctioned at 3300 crores and we are still a poor country where people starve for 2 square meals per day.
6. Where the footwear, we wear, are sold in AC showrooms, but vegetables, that we eat, are sold on the footpath.
7. Where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous.
8. Assembly complex buildings are getting ready within one year while public transport bridges alone take several years to be completed.
9. Where we make lemon juices with artificial flavors and dish wash liquids with real lemon. Think about it! If you cross the The North Korean border illegally, you get ..... 12 years hard labour in an isolated prison ..... If you cross the Iranian border illegally, you get ..... detained indefinitely ..... If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get ..... shot ..... If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally, you get ..... jailed ..... If you cross the Chinese border illegally, you get ..... kidnapped and may be never heard of - again .... If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally, you get ..... branded as a spy and your fate sealed ..... If you cross the Cuban border illegally, you get ..... thrown into a political prison to rot ..... If you cross the British border illegally, you get ..... arrested, prosecuted, sent to prison and be deported after serving your sentence ..... Now .... if you were to cross the Indian border illegally, you get .....
1. A ration card
2. A passport ( even more than one - if you please ! )
3. A driver's license
4. A voter identity card
5. Credit cards
6. A Haj subsidy
7. Job reservation
8. Special privileges for minorities
9. Government housing on subsidized rent
10. Loan to buy a house
11. Free education
12. Free health care
13. A lobbyist in New Delhi , with a bunch of media morons and a bigger bunch of human rights activists promoting your cause
14. The right to talk about secularism, which you have not heard about in your own country !
15. And of-course ..... voting rights to elect corrupt politicians who will promote your community for their selfish interest in securing your votes !!!
16. and right to fight election for MLA or MP Hats off ..... to the ..... A. Corrupt and communal Indian politicians B. The inefficient and corrupt Indian police force C. The silly pseudo-secularists in India , who promote traitors staying here D. The amazingly lenient Indian courts and legal system. That's why people like Afzal Guru are still alive, same will happen with Kasab. E. WE self centered Indian citizens, who are not bothered about the dangers to our own country. F. The illogically brainless human-rights activists, who think that terrorists deserve to be dealt with by archaic laws meant for an era, when human beings were human beings.


INCREDIBLE INDIA!


Sent by Parthasarathi Sengupta

Then AND now

RD Model "R" and some Food for Thought..

1910 Ford Model-R


Show this to your friends!

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1910; one hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!

Here are some statistics for the Year 1910 reference USA only :

*********************************

The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.
The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
An Accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year
A dentist $2,500 per year
A Veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year
A Mechanical Engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME.
Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools,
many of which were condemned by the press & the
government as 'substandard.'
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month,
and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from
entering into their country.

The five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea
hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write
and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over
the counter at the local corner drugstores.

Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion,
gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels,
and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time
servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself.

From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD..

All in a matter of seconds!

Try to IMAGINE what it will be like in another 100 YEARS!


Sent by Parthsarathi Sengupta

The salutary effect of wearing Anna Hazare cap.

"I was in Delhi to attend a meeting in the Planning Commission's Office. When I got out of Delhi airport, some youngster approached me and gave me a small national flag to pin on my shirt. This is something which I could obviously not refuse. Then they gave me a white cap with "I am Anna Hazare" written printed it in.

I decided to wear the cap, got into a taxi and told him to take me to my lodging. On the way there was a police check point, and the cop peeped into the taxi and waved us on. The cabbie seemed to be happy. and said "Aap ki wajah se bach gaye" (Escaped, thanks to you). When I asked what I had doen to save him, he said 'Every day, these police guys make us pay 100 rupees to pass this point, and if someone does not pay he is held up for hours. He saw you Anna Hazare cap and let us go without extorting money"

I kept my cap on even as I entered Planning Commission Office. The peons and sundry staff, who normally keep gossiping in the corridors or block your way, all melted away or stood out of the way with heads bowed down. I kept my cap on even during the meeting. After it was over, the clerk came to me and asked for my journey ticket and other documents. A bit surprised, I asked him why he wanted these. His answer "Sahab, sab kuchh aaj hi dena hai" i.e. my fare, lodging bills and sitting fees for the meeting were all to be reimbursed today itself. Lo and behold, I got the cheque 15 minutes later. Normally it takes about 3 months!!

I went back to airport to catch my return flight. Everyone, including the security staff at the gate was staring at me, but politely stood aside. Since this trip was on government expense, I had to travel by the famed Air India. But my magic cap resulted in very polite treatment from the check-in counter staff, the x-ray machine crew and all other.

While waiting for the flight, I went to one of the shops and bought two books. People were staring at me. The shop assistant took my credit card, got my sign on the slip, and gave the books to me in a packet. As I left the shop he came running after me 'Sir, your bill" and gave it to me.

Next I went to the cafe for some snacks. The young man at the counter was very eager to speak to me. The boy would not accept payment from me for the snacks, till I said that 'Not paying for my snacks will amount to corruption" He asked me a a dozen questions, including my connection with Anna Hazare. Although I have known Anna for years, I feigned to be unconnected, and said I was only supporting him.

On my way home from airport at Pune I ran into a group of villagers, who were all planning to go to Ralegan Siddhi. seeing my cap they waved and requested the driver to stop the taxi. I got down to speak to them. On learning that I had just returned from Delhi, some of them hugged me asked me about Anna's health, the progress of his movement and so on.

Two days later, I ran into a procession of students, all wearing Anna Hazare caps (I was not wearing one). I parked my car by the side and chatted with them. I asked them "You are all students, how are you affected by corruption?" On boy, son of an auto-rickshaw driver said "Sir, when my mother sends me to get a gas cylinder replacement, the fellow tells me to come after 10 days. But if someone shows a twenty rupee note, a cylinder is available immediately. Is this not corruption?" Another boy whose father owns a scooter repair shop, said "Sir, they are passing us up to 8th class without studying. Then in 9th and 10th we are given grace marks and allowed to pass. After that when we take admission to any course, we find it beyond our capability. All these 'pass everyone' rules are causing terrible harm to our careers. We have to fight to correct the system, else our lives will be ruined"

This was a real eye opener!! Anna has not just attacked corruption, he has unleashed youth power."


Sent by Parthasarathi Sengupta

Alcoholism

A Police STOP at 1AM

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."




I just read an article on the dangers of drinking..

Scared the Shit out of me.

So that's it!








After today, no more reading.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Birth Pangs

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher ...

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I
never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want
to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class
with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby
brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then
Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate
for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying
not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are
watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going,
'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She
walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this
kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife .... She delivers babies, but she
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom
to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back
against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there
in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the
bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little
hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,
breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,
all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff
that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there
must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife
spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when
it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another
'Middle Wife' comes along.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sharad Powar - Poor man? Ha!ha!ha!

Pawar denies hiding information of his assets

New Delhi, Sep 14 (IANS) Union Agriculture Minister and Nationalist Congress Party chief Sharad Pawar Wednesday denied hiding any information that he owned shares in Pune-based Panchshil Hotels while declaring his assets to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh.
Reacting to a media report, which said Pawar did not give full details of his share holding in the company while disclosing his assets, the agriculture minister said: 'When I contacted the company, it said that in December 2009, it had announced the issue bonus share of 1:1.'
'The company has not sent share certificate to shareholders nor intimated us about the decision taken,' Pawar told reporters.
He said that he would disclose full information about his shareholding to the prime minister and to parliament once he gets the share certificate from the company.
'The moment I will get the share certificate, it will reflect in my statement to the prime minister and to the parliament. There is nothing to hide. The person who has Rs.12 crore worth of asset, what is there to hide about shares,' Pawar said.


Caesar's wife should be beyond reproach.
Declaration of assets of all cabinet ministers is a good beginning but it is an eye-wash unless taken to its proper conclusion.
An independent investigation agency should be appointed to check the declarations made by these ministers.
Investigations should be launched for other hidden assets owned by the minister and his relatives which have not been accounted and not declared.
Those assets should be confiscated like the Bihar government has done.
Nobody in India believes that Sharad Powar is such a poor man

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Hazards of tight dresses

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was
waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus
stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that
her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height
of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver,
she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that
this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind
her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time,
she attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she
could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she
again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to
make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her
picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the
step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and
screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would
agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda
figured we was friends."

Response Time in El Paso , Texas

Three armed felons crossed the U. S border and attempted to rob an off-duty El Paso police officer dressed in civilian clothes while he stood in front of a bank.

The plan was for two of them to grab his backpack and toss it to an accomplice on a stolen motorcycle. However, the well-prepared police officer shot all of them, killing two immediately. The third was shot in both arms and bled to deathbeforethe ambulance arrived.

This is how much the U. S. Taxpayer wouldhave had to pay to prosecute these thugs:Arrest and detention for 1 night = $6,000Transportation for deportation back to Mexico the next day = - $1000 Air time for

Obama to apologize in 30 min speech = $25,000,000.00 What it actually cost:Four .40 rounds = $1.00Taxpayer savings = $25,006,999.00
They Picked The Wrong Man to Rob - Only in TEXAS !THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A 911 CALL IS 4 MINUTES .THE AVERAGE RESPONSE TIME FOR A .40 S &W ROUND IS ABOUT 1225 FEET PER SECOND.


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Letter to Rahul Gandhi

A daring letter by an IIT'an to Rahul Gandhi. Plz read and SHARE .


(HOPE EVERY ONE KNOW THIS ..)
A REPLY LETTER WRITTEN BY:

NITIN GUPTA (RIVALDO)

B. Tech, IIT Bombay

ON Rahul Gandhi: "I feel ashamed to call myself an INDIAN
after seeing what has happened here in UP".

Dear Rahul,

YOU REALLY WANT TO FEEL ASHAMED???????

But don't be disappointed, I would give you
ample reasons to feel ashamed... You really want to feel Ashamed..?

* First Ask Pranav Mukherjee, Why isn't he giving
the details of the account holders in the Swiss Banks.

* Ask your Mother, Who is impeding the Investigation
against Hasan Ali?

* Ask her, Who got 60% Kickbacks in the 2G Scam ?

* Kalamadi is accused of a Few hundred Crores, Who
Pocketed the rest in the Common Wealth Games?

* Ask Praful Patel what he did to the Indian Airlines?
Why did Air India let go of the Profitable Routes ?

* Why should the Tax Payer pay for the Air India
losses, when you intend to eventually DIVEST IT ANYWAY!!!

* Also, You People can't run an Airline Properly.
How can we expect you to run the Nation?

* Ask Manmohan Singh. Why/What kept him quiet for so long?

* Are Kalmadi and A Raja are Scapegoats to save Big
Names like Harshad Mehta was in the 1992 Stock Market Scandal ?

* Who let the BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY Accused go Scot Free?
20,000 People died in that Tragedy)

* Who ordered the State Sponsored Massacre of SIKHS in 84?

* Please read more about, How Indira Gandhi pushed the
Nation Under Emergency in 76-77, after the HC declared
her election to Lok Sabha Void!

* WHY ONLY HIGHLIGHT THIS ARREST?

Dear Rahul, to refresh your memory, you were
arrested/detained by the FBI the BOSTON Airport
in September 2001.

You were carrying with you $ 1,60,000 in Cash.
You couldn't explain why you were carrying so much Cash.

(Incidentally He was with his Columbian girlfriend Veronique Cartelli,

ALLEGEDLY, the Daughter of Drug Mafia. 9 HOURS he was
kept at the Airport. Later then freed on the intervention
of the then Prime Minister Mr. Vajpayee.. FBI filed an
equivalent of an FIR in US and released him.

When FBI was asked to divulge the information, by
Right/Freedom to Information Activists about the
reasons Rahul was arrested ...
FBI asked for a NO OBJECTION CERTIFICATE from Rahul Gandhi.

So Subramaniyam Swami wrote a Letter to Rahul Gandhi,
" If you have NOTHING to HIDE, Give us the Permission"
HE NEVER REPLIED!)
Why did that arrest not make Headlines Rahul?
You could have gone to the Media and told, "I am ashamed
to call myself an INDIAN?".
Or is it that, you only do like to highlight Symbolic
Arrests (like in UP) and not Actual Arrests (In BOSTON)
Kindly Clarify.....In any case, you want to feel ashamed,
Read Along...

YOUR MOTHER'S SO CALLED SACRIFICE OF GIVING UP PRIME
MINISTERSHIP in 2004.

According to a Provision in the Citizenship Act,
A Foreign National who becomes a Citizen of India,
is bounded by the same restrictions,which an Indian
would face, if he/she were to become a Citizen of Italy.
(Condition based on principle of reciprocity)
Now Since you can't become a PM in Italy, Unless
you are born there. Likewise an Italian Citizen can't
become Indian PM,unless He/She is not born here!

Dr. SUBRAMANIYAM SWAMI (The Man who Exposed the 2G Scam)
sent a letter to the PRESIDENT OF INDIA bringing the
same to his Notice.
PRESIDENT OF INDIA sent a letter to Sonia Gandhi to
this effect, 3:30

PM, May 17th, 2004.

Swearing Ceremony was scheduled for 5 PM the same Day.
Manmohan Singh was brought in the Picture at the last
moment to Save Face!!
Rest of the SACRIFICE DRAMA which she choreographed
was an EYE WASH!!!
In fact Sonia Gandhi had sent, 340 letters, each signed
by different MP to the PRESIDENT KALAM, supporting her
candidacy for PM.
One of those letters read, "I Sonia Gandhi, elected Member
from Rai Bareli, hereby propose Sonia Gandhi as Prime Minister."

So SHE was Pretty INTERESTED! Until She came to know the
Facts! She didn't make any Sacrifice, It so happens
that SONIA GANDHI couldn't have become the PM of INDIA that time.

You could be Ashamed about that Dear Rahul!! One
Credential Sonia G had,
Even that was a HOAX!
THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.

You go to Harvard on Donation Quota.
( Hindujas Gave HARVARD 11 million dollars the same year,
when Rajiv Gandhi was in Power)
Then you are expelled in 3 Months/ You Dropped out
in 3 Months....
(Sadly Manmohan Singh wasn't the Dean of Harvard
that time, else you might have had a chance...
Too Bad, there is only one Manmohan Singh!)

Then Why did you go about lying about being Masters
in Economics from Harvard .. before finally taking it
off your Resume upon questioning by Dr. SUBRAMANIYAM SWAMI
(The Gentlemen who exposed the 2G Scam)

At St. Stephens.. You Fail the Hindi Exam. Hindi Exam!!!
And you are representing the Biggest Hindi Speaking
State of the Country?

SONIA GANDHI's EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATIONS

Sonia G gave a sworn affidavit as a Candidate that
She Studied English at University of Cambridge
According to Cambridge University, there is no such
student EVER!
Upon a Case by Dr. Subramaniyam Swami filed against her,
She subsequently dropped the CAMBRIDGE CREDENTIAL from her Affidavit.
Sonia Gandhi didn't even pass High School. She is just
5th class Pass!
In this sense, She shares a common Educational Background
with her 2G partner in Crime, Karunanidhi.

You Fake your Educational Degree, Your Mother Fakes her
Educational Degree. And then you go out saying,
" We want Educated Youth into Politics!"

WHY LIE ABOUT EDUCATIONAL CREDENTIALS?

Not that Education is a Prerequisite for being a great
Leader, but then you shouldn't have lied about your
qualifications!

You could feel a little ashamed about Lying about
your Educational Qualifications. You had your reasons
I know, Because in India, WE RESPECT EDUCATION!

But who cares about Education, When you are a Youth Icon!!

YOUTH ICON

You traveled in the Local Train for the first time
at the Age of 38.You went to some Villages as a part
of Election Campaign. And You won a Youth Icon!! ...
That's why You are my Youth Icon.

For 25 Million People travel by Train Every day.
You are the First Person to win a Youth Icon for
boarding a Train.

Thousands of Postmen go to remotest of Villages.
None of them have yet gotten a Youth Icon.
ou were neither YOUNG Nor ICONIC!

Still You became a Youth Icon beating Iconic and
Younger Contenders like RAHUL DRAVID.

SURNAME
Shakespeare said, What's in a Name?

Little did he knew, It's all in the Name, Especially
the Surname!
Speaking of Surname, Sir DO YOU REALLY RESPECT GANDHI,
OR IS IT JUST TO CASH IN ON THE GOODWILL OF MAHATMA?
Because the Name on your Passport is RAUL VINCI.
Not RAHUL GANDHI..
May be if you wrote your Surname as Gandhi,
you would have experienced, what Gandhi feels like,
LITERALLY ( Pun Intended)
You People don't seem to use Gandhi much, except
when you are fighting Elections.
( There it makes complete sense).
Imagine fighting elections by the Name Raul Vinci...
You use the name GANDHI at will and then say,
" Mujhe yeh YUVRAJ shabd Insulting lagta hai!
Kyonki aaj Hindustan mein Democracy hai, aur is shabd
ka koi matlab nahin hai! YUVRAJ, Itna hi Insulting
lagta hai, to lad lo RAUL VINCI ke Naam se!!!
Jin Kisano ke saath photo khinchate ho woh bhi
isliye entertain karte hain ki GANDHI ho..
RAUL VINCI bol ke Jao... Ghar mein nahin ghusaenge!!!

You could feel ashamed for your Double Standards.

YOUTH INTO POLITICS.

Now You want Youth to Join Politics.

I say First you Join Politics. Because you haven't
Joined Politics. You have Joined a Family Business.
First you Join Politics. Win an Election fighting as
RAUL VINCI and Not Rahul Gandhi, then come and ask the
youth and the Educated Brass for more involvement
in Politics.
Also till then, Please don't give me examples of Sachin
Pilot and Milind Deora and Naveen Jindal as youth who
have joined Politics. They are not Politicians.
They Just happen to be Politicians.
Much Like Abhishek Bachchan and other Star Sons
are not Actors. They just happen to be Actors
(For Obvious Reasons)
So, We would appreciate if you stop requesting the
Youth to Join Politics till you establish your credentials...

WHY WE CAN'T JOIN POLITICS!
Rahul Baba, Please understand, Your Father had a lot
of money in your Family account ( in Swiss Bank) when he died.

Ordinary Youth has to WORK FOR A LIVING. YOUR FAMILY
just needs to NETWORK FOR A LIVING
If our Father had left thousands of Crores with us,
We might consider doing the same. But we have to Work.
Not just for ourselves. But also for you. So that we
can pay 30% of our Income to the Govt.which can then be
channelized to the Swiss Banks and your Personal Accounts
under some Pseudo Names.
So Rahul, Please don't mind If the Youth doesn't Join Politics.

We are doing our best to fund your Election Campaigns
and your Chopper Trips to the Villages.
Somebody has to Earn the Money that Politicians Feed On.
NO WONDER YOU ARE NOT GANDHIs. YOU ARE SO CALLED GANDHIs!!
Air India, KG Gas Division, 2G, CWG, SWISS BANK Account
Details... Hasan Ali, KGB., FBI Arrest..
You want to feel ashamed..?
Feel Ashamed for what the First Family of Politics has
been reduced to... A Money Laundering Enterprise.
NO WONDER YOU ARE NOT GANDHI'S BY BLOOD.
GANDHI is an adopted Name. For Indira didn't marry
Mahatma Gandhi's Son.
For even if you had one GENE OF GANDHI JI in your DNA
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN PLAGUED BY SUCH 'POVERTY OF AMBITION'
(Ambition of only EARNING MONEY)
You really want to feel Ashamed?
Feel Ashamed for what you ' SO CALLED GANDHI'S' have
done to MAHATMA'S Legacy..

I so wish GANDHI JI had Copyrighted his Name!
Meanwhile, I would request Sonia Gandhi to change
her name to $ONIA GANDHI, and you could replace
the 'R' in RAHUL/RAUL by the New Rupee Symbol!!!
RAUL VINCI : I am ashamed to call myself an Indian.

Even we are ashamed to call you so!
P.S: Popular Media is either bought or blackmailed,
controlled to Manufacture Consent! My Guess is Social
Media is still a Democratic Platform.
(Now they are trying to put legislations to censor that too!!).

Meanwhile, Let's ask these questions, for we deserve some Answers.

YOURS SINCERELY

NITIN GUPTA (RIVALDO)

B. Tech, IIT Bombay

A Blonde Joke

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'
The blonde said it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'
.
.
.
.
.
.
The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'


Sent by Prakash Bhartia

Monday, September 12, 2011

THE NEW CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT

Hope he runs in 2012. At least he has what is needed in Washington.



Sent by Prakash Bhartia

BOLD/ BOARD DECISION

BCCI REFUSES VIRGIN AIRLINE SPONSORSHIP

Billionaire Virgin business group boss Richard Branson has offered to sponsor the Indian cricket team currently reeling after a string of tournament defeats.

However, the Board of Control for Cricket of India (BCCI) has politely refused the generous multi-million-pound offer by the cricket-mad magnate.

As one of the Board official snapped: "We can't have VIRGIN written on our shirts, when we're getting screwed in every match in England "!

Indians are Hobbesian.(culture of self interest)

Corruption in India is a cultural aspect. Indians seem to think nothing peculiar about corruption .It is everywhere. Indians tolerate corrupt individuals rather than correct them. No race can be congenitally corrupt. But can a race be corrupted by its culture? To know why Indians are corrupt ,look at their patterns and practices . First: Religion is transactional in India .Indians give God cash and anticipate an out-of-turn reward. Such a plea acknowledges that favours are needed for the undeserving. In the world outside the temple walls, such a transaction is named- “bribe”. A wealthy Indian gives not cash to temples,but gold crowns and such baubles. His gifts can not feed the poor. His pay-off is for God. He thinks it will be wasted if it goes to a needy man. In June 2009, The Hindu published a report of Karnataka ministerG. Janardhan Reddy gifting a crown of gold and diamonds worthRs 45 crore to Tirupati. India’s temples collect so much that they don't know what to do with it.Billions are gathering dust in temple vaults. When Europeans came to India they built schools. When Indians go to Europe & USA, they build temples. Indians believe that if God accepts money for his favours,then nothing is wrong in doing the same thing.This is why Indians are so easily corruptible. Indian culture accommodates such transactions morally. There is no real stigma. An utterly corrupt Jaya Lalita canmake a comeback, just unthinkable in the West. Second - Indian moral ambiguity towards corruption is visible in its history. Indian history tells of the capture of cities and kingdoms after guardswere paid off to open the gates, and commanders paid off to surrender. This is unique to India . Indians' corrupt nature has meant limited warfare on the subcontinent. It is striking how little Indians have actually fought compared toancient Greece and modern Europe . The Turks’ battles with Nadir Shah were vicious and fought to the finish. In India fighting wasn't needed, bribing was enough to see off armies. Any invader willing to spend cash could brush aside India ’s kings,no matter how many tens of thousands soldiers were in their infantry. Little resistance was given by the Indians at the “ Battle ” of Plassey. Clive paid off Mir Jaffar and all of Bengal folded to an army of 3,000. There was always a financial exchange to taking Indian forts. Golconda was captured in 1687 after the secret back door was left open. Mughals vanquished Marathas and Rajputs with nothing but bribes. The Raja of Srinagar gave up Dara Shikoh’s son Sulaiman to Aurangzeb after receiving a bribe. There are many cases where Indians participated on a large scale in treason due to bribery. Question is: Why Indians have a transactional culture while other 'civilized' nations don't? Third - Indians do not believe in the theory that they all can riseif each of them behaves morally, because that is not the message of their faith. Their caste system separates them. They don't believe that all men are equal. This resulted in their division and migration to other religions . Many Hindus started their own faith like Sikh, Jain, Buddha
and many converted to Christianity and Islam.

The result is that Indians don't trust one another . There are no Indians in India ,there are
Hindus ,Christians, Muslims and what not.

Indians forget that 400 years ago they all belonged to one faith.

This division evolved an unhealthy culture. The inequality has resulted in a corrupt society, In India every one is thus against everyone else, except God ­ and even he must be bribed.


This has been sent by Prakash Bhartia.
There is much truth in it.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

People sound alert for India's Politicians

By ANI

New Delhi, Sep 11(ANI): The twelve day fast and agitation against corruption by Anna Hazare has electrified all of India. People from all walks of life, from all strata of the society, rich and poor, reacted and responded to the call against corruption as never before.
The nation was united and reacted as one. A situation of near frenzy, if not uprising, was nearing when better sense prevailed over the government to defuse the agitation and deal with issues raised by the agitation.
Throughout the period that the agitation lasted, it became clear that the politicians of India were no longer in touch with reality and the mood of India's people. The people seem to have had enough of the politicians and their promises.
People have also seen how the quality of life of any ordinary local "neta" changes as soon he or his party comes to power. People know that corruption feeds change. The politicians seem to believe that people are prepared to tolerate their misdeeds.
Yes, the people of India have a great amount of tolerance. Blame India's culture or the people's belief in their fate for this kind of tolerance of evil in society. When Anna Hazare launched his agitation from Jantar Mantar, the Government was smart enough to diffuse it by inviting Anna Hazare and his team to work with the Government in drafting Lok Pal Bill.
Taking advantage of the situation created by the Government's mishandling of the drafting of the Lok Pal Bill with Anna Hazare team, Baba Ramdev tried to project himself as a greater fighter against corruption. He had his own followers backing him, but then the people at large know that he is not an activist like Anna Hazare.
The Government was able to dislodge Ramdev from the Ram Lila ground with a heavy hand and get away with it only because Ramdev had many chinks in his armour.
Corruption has eaten into the vitals of India. How do you expect the policemen to work honestly if for their recruitment they have to bribe and to stay in their job too they must bribe all the way. And here, begins the story of the poor law and order situation in the country and the nation's failure to fight terrorism which only bleeds the innocent.
Why has India failed in its efforts at police reforms? The answer to that can only be because of the politicians' failure to do their job. The people feel that many of these politicians are getting fatter by the day through corrupt practices. They do not seem to have the time to ensure good governance.
Anna Hazare, frustrated with the Government's response to his appeals to accept the Jan Lokpal bill draft of the civil society, announced plans to launch his agitation again. Some in the Government thought that he could be dealt with in the same manner as Ramdev and responded clumsily. They arrested Hazare and his team members, and moved him to Tihar jail.
When Anna Hazare refused to move out of the jail, even after his 'release' India was electrified. In one foolish move, the Government of India stood exposed. How so ever the Government tried to shout from house tops that it was sincere in fighting corruption, the people of India were not prepared to believe it.
A Government led by one who has an impeccable record of honesty stood condemned in the eyes of the nation for the ham- handed manner of arresting Hazare. The rest is history.
Once Hazare appeared on stage at the Ramlila ground, people all over India rallied around his cause to have a corruption free India. People too know that the Jan Lok Pal is an issue that leads to the bigger cause of fighting the corruption in totality.
That we need a Lokpal cannot be denied for the manner in which India's economy has been managed in the years since independence, and more so since the so called liberalisation started. There is too much at stake. We need a system that is transparent and corruption free.
That the rulers of India and even opposition parties were totally out of touch with the ground realities can only be judged by the quality of debates that were taking place during the days that the fast lasted.
Faced with a ground swell of anger all over India and possibility of serious violence erupting all over India if something happened to Hazare, the politicians from all sides agreed to bow to the will of the people. The consensus of the Parliament to the three basic demands of Anna Hazare is to be seen in that light. The people of India have had enough of corruption and corrupt politicians.
All those who led a chorus of accusations that Hazare was challenging the right of Parliament to enact laws for the country were only proving how far they were cut off from the mood of the people. At no point was Hazare suggesting usurping the rights of Parliament or its members.
He has successfully articulated what the people of India expect from their elected representatives. That, to many of the elected representatives, is anathema? They are too used to making promises at election time and forgetting them once they enter the hallowed precincts of Parliament House in New Delhi or the Assemblies in the states.
With almost all the political parties of India being run as family fiefdoms, the politics of India has tragically moved back into the feudal era. One of the greatest achievements of independent India's first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru was that he was ably to rid India of its feudal systems, the princes, the jagirdars and the zamindars.
Little would he have dreamt that one day those feudal families would be replaced by what have come to be known as "political dynasties". Just as the feudal lords of yester years would hardly know as to how the people at large felt about them so is also the case with the "feudal" netas of today. If the courtiers surrounded the feudal lords, it is the sycophants who surround the so-called popular netas today.
One the greatest assets of Indian democracy, has been the independent media. Politicians have tried to control it, but failed in their attempts. The media help the people to judge the events. Politicians could be in touch with daily reality if they choose, but their attempts at managing media only take them so much further away from the people.
The Governments, both at the Centre and in the states, have yet to come to grips with the reality that the people of India want immediate action to fight the scourge of corruption. We have yet to see any action to improve governance, which is the root cause of corruption in India.
The Government does not have to wait for the Lokpal Bill to be passed to announce for each of the Government department a code under which they must function. Time bound action should be made incumbent upon Government departments dealing with the public.
That the country also needs electoral reforms is a fact conceded by almost all political parties. Should we wait for another agitation to be launched by Anna Hazare to start work on electoral reforms? The Election Commission of India itself could initiate action and prepare a draft paper that could be adopted to usher in the much-needed reforms.
The system should be able to weed out the corrupt and criminal elements from the political scene of India. Not that it can be totally possible, but a lot can be achieved. An annual audit of the accounts of all the political parties and the monies they receive ought to be a transparent affair.
It is high time that the political parties restore inner party democracy allowing natural, competent and honest leaders to emerge. That alone can restore trust between the people and the politicians, and remove the threat to the Parliamentary democracy as we know and have it today.
Perhaps out of all this churning a new corruption free and truly democratic India is making its way towards a new dawn. (ANI)
Attn: News Editors/News desks: Mr. Prem Prakash is a senior commentator and Chairman of By Prem Prakash ANI.


The above came in the news I receve from Yahoo.
Since Prem Prakash's views match those of most Indians excepting those participating in the corruption circuit, I am posting it here.