Why Can't a Woman be more like a man?

What is the difference between man and woman.
We who have spent more than 25 years with our spouses should know.
We have had our silver jubilee and bow have silver hair.
Keith Hayward here notifies the subtle differences.
I am sure you must be knowing many more.
Send them to me to put on the blog
when your own spouses are sleeping.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go
out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go
out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and
Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike,
Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their
bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2
item that she doesn’t need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his
bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap,
and a towel.
The average number of items
in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify
more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in
any argument.
Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the
future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about
the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who
makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man
expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman
expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go
shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a
book,
and get the mail.
A man will dress up for
weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking
as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate
during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows
all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of
some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor
and who can handle it ...
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.