Smileys from Rex Barker

Animals are man's best friends.
Different people have different ways of showing their appreciation.
This farmer has a unique way of showing his gratitude to his paithful pig.

Three Legged Pig...

A preacher visiting his flock in the country happens to see a pig walking around on 3 legs. The preacher stopped by and asked the farmer. My son, what's with your pig with only 3 legs?

Well, preacher says the farmer, this pig is very special to my family and me, well just 2 months ago, I'm working underneath my tractor, the jack fell and the tractor was crushing me. I yelled and my pig rushed to my rescue, dug me out and pulled me away from the tractor.

Well that's very commendable says the preacher..but..

That's not all preacher, last week my house caught fire and my pig pulled my 2 young daughters to safety. It even received a hero gold ribbon, from the village mayor.

I understand says the preacher, but that still doesn't explain the missing leg!

Well, like I said preacher, this pig is very special to my family and well, we just cannot bring ourselves to eat it all at once.

It is always good to be precise.
This piece shows how you can take precision to the extreme and benefit from it.

Mr. Major...

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked,'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative,ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ''It looks like you have seen a lot of action?''

''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally The young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

'1955' , he replied.

Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'

Both the above are from Rex Barker