Aspirin-How ? When?

Chinese Proverb:
'When someone shares something of value with you, and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.

So I'm passing this on...hopefully the tablets will lie idle by your bedside.

Cheers and good health.

Matt

Aspirin
Info ?

To add to your
body of body knowledge:

Dr. Virend Somers, a cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic who is lead
author of the report in the July 29, 2008issue of the Journal of the
American College of Cardiology.

Most heart
attacks occur in the day, generally between 6 A.M. And noon, Somers
said. Having one during the night, when the heart should be most at
rest, means that something unusual happened. Somers and his
colleagues have been working for a decade to show that sleep apnoea is to
blame.


1. If you take an aspirin or a baby
aspirin once a day, take it at night. The reason:
aspirin has a 24-hour "half-life". Therefore, if most heart
attacks happen in the wee hours of the morning, the aspirin would be
strongest in your system.

2. FYI, aspirin lasts a really long time in your
medicine chest.............years.
(when it gets old, it smells like
vinegar.)

Please read on.

Something that we can do to help
ourselves.. Nice to know.

Bayer is making
crystal aspirin to dissolve instantly on the tongue. They work much faster
than the tablets.?


Why keep
aspirin by your bedside?

About Heart
Attacks

There
are other symptoms of an heart attack besides the pain on the left
arm.

One must also be
aware of an intense pain on the chin, as well
as nausea and lots of sweating, however these
symptoms may also occur less frequently.

Note:There may be NO pain in the chest during a heart
attack.
The majority of people (about 60%) who had a heart attack
during their sleep, did not wake up. However, if it occurs, the
chest pain may wake you up from your deep sleep.

If that happens,
immediately dissolve two aspirins in your mouth and swallow them with a bit of
water.?
If you have a previous history of heart problems, then the physician may have prescribed "Sorbitrate" tablets to you.
These too may be kept at the bedside and one or two may be placed under the tongue in case we fear an imminent heart attack.
Take deep breaths and exhale slowly and rub lightly with your right hand on your chest where we know the heart lies.

Afterwards:

-call
911
- phone
a neighbour or a family member who lives very close by
-say"heart attack!"
-say
that you have taken 2 aspirins ..
- take a seat on a chair or
sofa near the front door, and wait for their arrival
and...
~do NOT
lie down~

A Cardiologist has stated that, if each person, after receiving this info,
passes it on to 10 people, probably one life can be saved!?

Obama Analysed

Dear President Obama,

My name is Harold Estes, approaching 95 on December 13 of this year. People meeting me for the first time don't believe my age because I remain wrinkle free and pretty much mentally alert.

I enlisted in the U.S. Navy in 1934 and served proudly before, during and after WW II retiring as a Master Chief Bos'n Mate. Now I live in a "rest home" located on the western end of Pearl Harbor , allowing me to keep alive the memories of 23 years of service to my country.

One of the benefits of my age, perhaps the only one, is to speak my mind, blunt and direct even to the head man. So here goes.

I am amazed, angry and determined not to see my country die before I do, but you seem hell bent not to grant me that wish.
I can't figure out what country you are the president of.
You fly around the world telling our friends and enemies despicable lies like:
" We're no longer a Christian nation"
" America is arrogant" - (Your wife even
announced to the world," America is mean-
spirited. " Please tell her to try preaching
that nonsense to 23 generations of our
war dead buried all over the globe who
died for no other reason than to free a
whole lot of strangers from tyranny and
hopelessness.)

I'd say shame on the both of you, but I don't think you like America, nor do I see an ounce of gratefulness in anything you do, for the obvious gifts this country has given you. To be without shame or gratefulness is a dangerous thing for a man sitting in the White House.

After 9/11 you said," America hasn't lived up to her ideals."
Which ones did you mean? Was it the notion of personal liberty that 11,000 farmers and shopkeepers died for to win independence from the British? Or maybe the ideal that no man should be a slave to another man, that 500,000 men died for in the Civil War? I hope you didn't mean the ideal 470,000 fathers, brothers, husbands, and a lot of fellas I knew personally died for in WWII, because we felt real strongly about not letting any nation push us around, because we stand for freedom.
I don't think you mean the ideal that says equality is better than discrimination. You know the one that a whole lot of white people understood when they helped to get you elected.

Take a little advice from a very old geezer, young man.
Shape up and start acting like an American. If you don't, I'll do what I can to see you get shipped out of that fancy rental on Pennsylvania Avenue . You were elected to lead not to bow, apologize and kiss the hands of murderers and corrupt leaders who still treat their people like slaves.

And just who do you think you are telling the American people not to jump to conclusions and condemn that Muslim major who killed 13 of his fellow soldiers and wounded dozens more. You mean you don't want us to do what you did when that white cop used force to subdue that black college professor in Massachusetts , who was putting up a fight? You don't mind offending the police calling them stupid but you don't want us to offend Muslim fanatics by calling them what they are, terrorists.

One more thing. I realize you never served in the military and never had to defend your country with your life, but you're the Commander-in-Chief now, son. Do your job. When your battle-hardened field General asks you for 40,000 more troops to complete the mission, give them to him.

But if you're not in this fight to win, then get out. The life of one American soldier is not worth the best political strategy you're thinking of. You could be our greatest president because you face the greatest challenge ever presented to any president.

You're not going to restore American greatness by bringing back our bloated economy. That's not our greatest threat. Losing the heart and soul of who we are as Americans is our big fight now.

And I sure as hell don't want to think my president is the enemy in this final battle...

Sincerely,
Harold B. Estes
Snopes confirms as true:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/haroldestes.asp

Sent by Prakash Bhartia

I agree with this person.
Obama is giving aaway everything without getting anything.
In this respect Bush was better

CBI, pet poodle of the Central Government

Sikh group to challenge clean chit to Tytler
PTI, Apr 28, 2010, 01.09pm IST

NEW YORK: Angry over a clean chit to Jagdish Tytler in the 1984 anti-Sikh riots, a community group here has alleged that the CBI did not investigate material witnesses in the case when its team came to the United States.

The Sikh group based in New York and India, Sikhs for Justice, says there are several witnesses living in the US who had seen the Congress leader inciting mobs in the killings.

Sikhs for Justice, which had originally challenged CBI's closure report in 2007 are now preparing to challenge the Delhi court's decision to acquit Tytler, citing the new witnesses that have still not been heard.

"The CBI did not investigate material witnesses when they came to the United States and they came with the premeditated notion of giving Tytler a clean chit," Gurpatwant Pannun, the lawyer for the Sikhs for Justice, told PTI.

"The CBI should come back and speak to these witnesses who saw what happened," he added, noting that the Sikh group would ask the court to direct the CBI to hear these witnesses.

Resham Singh, who claims he saw Tytler at the Pulbangash Gurudwara standing in front of the mob as black smoke emerged from the shrine, said the CBI officials refused to speak to him when they came to interview the two key witnesses Jasbir Singh and Surinder Singh in San Francisco and New York.

In its decision, the court pointed out that the statement of Jasbir had "no relevance" and that the statements of Surinder Singh were "self-contradictory".

"I'm running after them to be heard... this is absolutely ridiculous," Resham told PTI.

Pannun said the discredited witness Jasbir "is outraged by the court's decision and blames the CBI for yielding to political pressure".

In 2007, when the CBI was about to close the case against Tytler based on the absence of evidence, Jasbir spoke out through the media that he was a living witnesses who could account for Tytler's alleged role.

In the coming weeks, Jasbir intends to appeal the decision that gave Tytler a clean chit and will come to India to testify if it is necessary.

Several potential witnesses here claim that they are scared of being harmed if they speak out about the past.

"I will go anywhere to get justice but they must provide security," Jasbir said.

In April, Sikhs for Justice has also filed a civil suit against Transport Minister, Kamal Nath, in a New York Federal District for his alleged role in the 1984 killings.

I fully support the Sikh groups.
The CBI has been used time and again to further the agenda of the central government to either harass its opponents or favour its friends.
A case in point is the way it has been blowing hot and cold on Mulayam Singh and Mayawati depending upon how it wants to use them to shelter itself from opposition onslaught. Mulayam was used during the US nuclear deal and Mayawati has been used to tide over the "Cut" motions.

I would suggest that a PIL should be filed in the Supreme Court by some public spirited advocate for removing the CBI from the control of the central government and giving the control to the judiciary.

We the people of India, have more faith on the judiciary than the central government, although there are some black sheep among the judiciary.

A Bricklayer's Lament...

Those who have taken medical insurance will understand the bricklayers plight given below.
These insurance companies pose very rosy pictures while selling you the policy. They tell you, have an accident and the insurance man will coming running to you with the cheque.
However, that is far from the truth as anyone who had the misfortune to have to claim medical insurance know. The number of forms they ask you to sign will make a healthy man sick so what would be the fate of the accident victim.
I'll let the bricklayer speak for me.

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

The above is from Rex Barker

Now Bank Employees get 17.5% hike

New bank wage agreement will give staff Rs 4,816 cr

Our Bureau

Mumbai, April 27

After bargaining hard for over 30 months, the Indian Banks' Association and bank unions on Tuesday signed a new bipartite wage pact.

Under this new wage agreement, the basic pay scale of officers will be Rs 14,500 at the entry level and Rs 52,000 in the general manager grade. In the case of the clerical staff, the new scale will range from Rs 6,200 to Rs 23,900 (at the end of the scale) while in the case subordinate staff it will be Rs 5,500 to Rs 13,800.

Following this, banks' total wage bill will go up by 17.5 per cent. Besides hike in salary, employees (existing and retired) who had opted for Provident Fund, have been given the option to get pension benefit.

The pension option was given subject to the condition that non-pension optees will bear the burden of pension cost to the extent of 2.8 times of their basic pay as of November 2007. Earlier, this burden was sought to be loaded on to existing pension optees also.

The total number of employees who are covered under the settlement include 5 lakh workmen employees and 2.5 lakh officers working in 26 public sector banks, 12 old private sector banks and eight foreign banks.

All part-time employees (lump sum) will be brought to one-third scale wages with effect from May 1, 2005.

The wage revision is effective for five years from November 1, 2007. The total wage increase of Rs 4,816 crore represents 17.5 per cent increase on banks' establishment expenses of Rs 27,520 crore as on March 31, 2007.

Another option of pension will be given to all existing employees who did not opt earlier and also who have retired or died after pension regulations 1995-96, IBA said in a statement.

A defined contributory retirement benefit scheme as governed by the "contributory pension scheme introduced for employees of Central Government with effect from January 1, 2004" will be introduced for workmen or officers joining the services of banks on or after April 1, 2010. There will be no separate contributory provident fund in respect of these workmen/officers.

All the existing special pay posts are rationalised and only three categories will remain - (i) Single Window Operator - A and Single Window Operator-B; (ii) Head Cashier and (iii) Special Assistant.

Dearness Allowance will be payable for every rise or fall of 4 points over 2,836 points in the quarterly average of All India Average Working Class Consumer Price Index (General) Base 1960 = 100 at 0.15 per cent of Pay.

According to Dr S. L. Das, General Secretary, Central Bank Officers' Union, bank officers of other public sector banks will have to bear the burden (Rs 291 crore) towards the pension of SBI officers out of the total wage increase of Rs 4,816 crore.

"This will effectively reduce the wage hike of other public sector bank officers to 16.5 per cent and increase that of SBI officers to 18.5 per cent.

"The employees contribution of Rs 1,800 crore towards pension load should have also been borne by the Government," he said.

Mr Vishwas Utagi, General Secretary, All India Bank Employees Association, said the one more option for pension will help 2.72 lakh existing employees and 65,000 retired employees.

I have said it earlier and I am saying again, what is the need to fatten the already fat pigs.
The present wage bill for 75 lakh bank employees is Rs 27520.00 crores, i.e average pay is 36700.00 per month
Their wage bill will now become Rs 32336.00 crores, i.e average Rs 43115.00
i.e an increase of Rs 6415.00 per month.
We have about 60% of our population who come under the BPL category.
They earn hardly Rs 600/- per month and here we are giving an increment of rs 6415.00 per month.
Tell me, why we should not have more Maoists?
You are not doing anything to control your population. It is the poor and illiterate who multiply manifold and when their basic needs are not fulfilled, it is natural they will take to the gun.
Government employees are already given DA which takes care of inflation . Then why this extravaganza when 60 % of your population do not even get a square meal?
THESE PAY COMMISSION AWARDS AND NEW WAGE AGREEMENT HAVE TO BE STOPPED.
The government cannot afford it but by printing notes and creating further inflation and discord in the population.

Fishing in Troubled Waters

Let ICC supervise IPL from now on: Miandad
27 Apr 2010, 1143 hrs IST,PTI

KARACHI: Former Pakistan captain Javed Miandad is not surprised by the mess the IPL finds itself in and wants the International Cricket Council to
'supervise' its organisation in future.

Miandad said keeping in mind the huge stakes involved in the so called domestic event of the BCCI, the world governing body of the game must intervene.

"Just to say the IPL is a domestic event does not work. IPL has too much foreign participation and interest at stake. ICC must supervise its organization from now on," he said.

Miandad, who is Director-General of Cricket in the PCB, said that he was not surprised at the turn of events in the IPL or the suspension of its commissioner Lalit Modi.

"It is not surprising because when you allow a private enterprise to deal directly with players bypassing the boards there is always bound to be trouble.

"I have been saying from day one that the ICC can't allow any Board to operate such private enterprises without a proper system of check and balance," Miandad said.

He contended that by allowing the IPL to deal directly with players, a wrong trend was set.

"Who is there to stop Modi from telling a player, 'Your country pays you so much I will pay you thrice as much' and this leads to conflict of interest for the players."

The former Pakistan captain and coach said lot of hype was created around the IPL for a purpose but realistically it did nothing for the betterment of cricket.

"Already there is so much T20 international cricket being played these days. Why should we have the IPL and one week later the World Cup. What is more important," he said.

No Pakistani player participated in the just concluded IPL-III as no franchise bid for them at the auction. As many as 11 players, including Pakistan's T20 captain Shahid Afridi, were part of the auction but went unsold.

Pakistan has always felt threatened by India.
They broke off from India like a baby removed from the womb of a mother.
Even after use of a knife the baby makes peace with its mother but Pakistan could never make peace with India inspite of using the knife to cut its umblical cord, killing lakhs of people on both sides of the border.
Inpite of losing three wars.
One of the wars resulted in its dismemberment and the formation of a new nation.
Looking into the back ground, how can you expect Pakistan not to try to take advantage of the mess created in IPL by Modi, Tharoor, Praful and Sharad.
We should tell them clearly, this is not Afganisthan where they can ask the USA to interfere.
Miandad and his cricketing band who are burning inside because of rejection in IPL 3 should be ticked off.
IPL is strictly Indian and ICC has no part in it.
I have one suggestion.
They could try to convince the Chinese to organise a CPL because at present only that country has the money to compete with India in prize money.

Old Age

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket..
We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'


He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and the car had an Obama sticker. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.


As usual, sent by Praksah bhartia.
He too is enjoying his old age and giving us somes chuckles in the process.

Photographic Memory

Alley by alley, raped girl from Bengal tracks down tormentors in Gujarat
- Trafficking victim helps police put 10 members of gang behind bars
ANANYA SENGUPTA


New Delhi, April 24: A 13-year-old village girl from Bengal who was taken from town to town in Gujarat by traffickers and raped by “customers” returned with police to each of the safe-houses, managing to remember every street and address in an unfamiliar state.

Mithu Das’s monumental feat of memory has helped put 10 men and women members of the inter-state child trafficking-and-prostitution ring behind bars, police say.

Mithu (name changed), now 16, had never stepped out of hometown Habra, North 24-Parganas, before the gang took her away three years ago. After she was rescued by the NGO Anhad a little over two months later, she remembered every unfamiliar place name: Mehsana, Baroda, Viratnagar, Ahmedabad, Kanpur.

She remembered the addresses of the private homes, hotels and guesthouses where she was stripped, raped and battered day after day — and walked bravely back into those very buildings and rooms, accompanied by the police.

She did not forget the dates, the faces, even the names of her tormentors — Vijay, Geeta, Deena — who are now being tried in a Gujarat court.

“She has been absolutely brilliant. The investigation became so much easier because of Mithu,” said Prakshita Rathore, a Gujarat policewoman.

“Although she had never been to Gujarat before, she not only took the police team to the places where she was locked up but also identified the gang members by name. There were lanes and bylanes and she didn’t take a step wrong. In the end she busted the network in Gujarat.”

Rathore added: “Many of the accused women would say ‘We are old women; how can we be involved in such crimes?’ But she told us what each one of the men and women had done to her. She stuck to her story in court too. It’s her testimony that has made the case so strong.”

Mithu said: “I don’t have a good memory, but I have to fight the case. I have to say what happened to me in detail; so I remember.”

“The truth is,” she added, “I want to forget everything, start life anew and be happy. I want to study and work hard.”

Mithu, however, has a personal battle to fight. She is HIV-positive — one outcome of her two-month ordeal.

“I don’t think she understands the implications yet. But she is a strong girl,” said Shabnam Hashmi of Anhad.

“She had come to know in 2007, soon after she was rescued, that she was HIV-positive, but that doesn’t seem to have affected her spirit. At least 20 men raped her….”

Mithu, wearing an orange sari, sat in the Anhad office reading an English newspaper. She was a Class V student when a neighbour took her away from home promising her mother Rs 6,000 every month from the dance shows she would be doing in Gujarat.

“I was learning classical dance in school and thought it would be fun, so I agreed. I guess my mother didn’t realise what was going to happen to me. She took the money and let me go,” Mithu said.

“I was taken by train to Gujarat from Howrah. They made me watch dirty movies and asked me to copy their moves. I refused…. Everyone who visited me in the small dingy rooms in the big houses would pay the house owner.”

Members of the ring, which operated around middle-class localities in Gujarat, were businessmen, or couples who rented their homes out. One was a hotel owner.

Bengal girls are some of the worst victims of trafficking. A study by Save the Children in collaboration with the Bengal government revealed that across 265 villages in the state, 3,429 children had left home to work in urban centres and 271 of them — one per village — never returned.

I had mentioned sometime back of persons having exceptional memories. I had said this is God gifted as otherwise how could a 13year old girl remember all the names and places.
I would suggest that any of the large IT companies, snap up this girl.
With basic training, she would become an asset to any organisation.

Msgs from friends 64

Msg from Sir, Mr Lobo

This was sent to me by a Friend in Assam, India and I agree with this
Chinese Proverb: 'When someone shares something of value with you, and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.

Matt

Open the below link, its amazing...
I don't know who made this...
http://home.tiscali.nl/annejan/swf/timeline.swf
1st Line is Seconds
2nd Line is Minutes
3rd Line is Hours
4th Line is the Day of the week
5th Line is today's Date
6th Line is the Month
7th Line is Year

Another msg from Sir.

I sent you one on Clocks this morning...here's another one, a Birthday clock, that will tell give you bits and pieces of trivia of that auspicious day when you were born !

Matt


Click on the Birthday Calculator then
Just enter your birth date

It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. How cool is that?After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. This is neat. Who says our time clocks aren't ticking ...
Enjoy ...

http://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp

Msg from Richard Johnson

Dear Radheshyam,

Thank you for your kind words.

Yes, it is a new job...more in the area of my interest - working with International students and issues... it is also a change and a challenge - to move to a new university and job at the age of 64... must have been Brother Mark's cooking... or was it the water...

I love reading your slant on things... especially your political comments... I am just so flat-out these days... maybe I'll get back to writing my trivial reminisces sometime... In the meantime, Best Wishes to you and your family.

Regards

Richard

Dr Richard Johnson
RMIT University
School of Education
PO Box 71
Bundoora, Victoria 3083
Phone: 9925 7820
Email: richard.johnson@rmit.edu.au

Why Indian Students are attacked abroad?‏

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new
Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American
History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar,
who had his hand up'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People,
by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.
'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should
be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country,
knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'Fuck the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his
hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right!
Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says,
'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and
shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit.
If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically
yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child
witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around
the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit,
we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it
was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.

Sent by Arun Shroff.
I think American History is great.
Not something dead like ours, Mohenjo Daro and the Indus valley civilizatiom

A great day for Goethals

K T Gyaltsen, Speaker,Sikkim Assembly, making a point to explain the working of the Assembly during our visit to Sikkim in March, 2010

Gangtok, May. 23, 2009 -- When Congress leader Charles Pyngrope will take oath as the new Speaker of the Meghalaya Legislative Assembly on Monday, he will script a double success for the century-old Goethals Memorial School (GMS). GMS is one of the many schools administered by the Congregation of Christian Brothers in India. It is situated between Siliguri and Darjeeling at an altitude of 5500 feet above sea leve. It is set amid an expanse of forest 5kms from Kurseong town. It is set to have two of its former students as Speakers in a span of three days. Goethals Memorial School, located in Kurseong, Darjeeling, in W Bengal has produced several distinguished personalities for the nation, especially in the Northeast. The school had completed one century in service in 2007.

Mr Pyngrope, a student of 1976 batch of Goethals Memorial School, had been announced today as the consensus candidate of the Congress-led Meghalaya United Alliance (MUA) for the post of the Speaker of the Meghalaya Legislative Assembly.

Interestingly, his one year junior in Goethals,Karma Tempo Namgyal Gyalsten had been sworn-in as the new Speaker of the Eighth Sikkim Legislative Assembly on May 22 here. Mr Gyalsten, who is from the 1977 batch of Goethals, belongs to the ruling Sikkim Democratic Front (SDF)which had swept the recent Assembly polls in the state. During a felicitation ceremony in Gangtok today at his residence by the Goethals Alumina Association (Sikkim), the Sikkim Legislative Assembly Speaker, popularly known as 'Tempo' in his school days, was informed that his school senior Charles Pyngrope aka 'Charlie Hanaman' or 'Duggy' will be following his footsteps as the Speaker of the Meghayala Legislative Assembly. A few minutes later, one ex-Goethalite Jerry Palden dialled the number of his batchmate 'Duggy' and initiated a conversation between the Meghayala Speaker designate and the Sikkim Speaker. The two former school mates exchanged pleasantries over the phone and refreshed those Goethals days of three decades ago. ''We congratulated each other,'' Mr Gyalsten told UNI.The Sikkim Legislative Assembly Speaker recollected his disciplined days of Goethals and said the school had taught him 'team work and leadership qualities'.
''I was the school prefect and school captain for hockey, football and volleyball.The discipline I learnt in Goethals has played a big part in what I am today,'' he said.

I just came across this today although Ranjan had mentioned it quite sometime back in Sikkim.
We have to now only sit on our laurels because first Ghising and now Gurung have massacred Goethals and all the other Hill Schools in Darjeeling District.
We cannot expect any more laurels.

Some Blonde Jokes

I know you are all looking forward to the weekend.
Prakash Bhartia has sent these so that you can laugh your way through Saturday and Sunday

DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

Packaged Drinks - How safe?

Wash B4 U Drink.......
WASH THEM FIRST Same applies to Beer.

This is Serious!
This incident happened recently in North Texas .
A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke
which she put into the refrigerator of the boat.
On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit.
She died on Wednesday.

The autopsy concluded she died of Leptospirosis.
This was traced to the can of coke she drank from, not using a glass.
Tests showed that the can was infected by dried rat urine and
hence the disease Leptospirosis.

Rat urine contains toxic and deathly substances.
It is highly recommended to thoroughly wash the upper part
of all soda cans before drinking out of them.
The cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to the shops without being cleaned.

A study at NYCU showed that the tops of all soda cans are more contaminated than public toilets (i.e.). full of germs and bacteria. So wash them with water before putting them to the mouth to avoid any kind of fatal accident.



I don't know about Coke and Beer, but I have seen many things which the railway catering staff provide being kept in the railway train toilets.Of course, I know the toilets are now cleaned at important stations but then that does not make them fit for keeping food which humans will consume.
The above has been sent by Arun Shroff

Signs for the modern woman!

Reminds you of Bro Corbett telling his class that there are three ways of solving any problem.
The right way.
Thar wrong way and
my way.
You have to do it my way.






What do boys talk about when they are alone among themselves?
Same as what we discuss.
Oh!, How naughty.




Sent by Sir, Mr. Lobo.

Bily Graham Prays for America

BILLY GRAHAM
Current Age: 90
Truth...........from a man the media has never been able to throw dirt on.....amazing! He has certainly hit the "world" on the head!


Billy Graham's Prayer For Our Nation

THIS MAN SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY!

'Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!'

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, 'The Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'One nation under God!'

Sent by John Kingsley

Happiness is fleeting - grab it

The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23.
The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US .
Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication.
In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of quimo to end.


Inspite of all the pain, organ failures and morphine shots katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss

An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well. The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents, excited at their son marrying their childhood sweetheart

Katie, in her wheelchair,listening to songs from husband and friends

At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests. The pain do not let her be standing for long periods.

Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a women so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last. We should stop making our lives complicated.


Life is short
Break the rules
forgive quickly
kiss passionately, love truly
laugh constantly
And never stop smiling
no matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

Sent by Arun Shroff

Time and Tide

We all see the before and after ads by companies who promise to reduce your weight by 10 Kg is a month or your girth by 4" in one week.
We all know that beauty is skin deep and yet we spend millions to tone our body to remove inches from some places or add inches at other places. Plastic surgeons are earning millions by changing the architecture of the nose or chin or teeth.
But to what purpose?
We are all rushing to our deaths as Lord Krishna showed Arjun when He opened His to show both the Kauravs and Pandas being swallowed by Him.
The pictures below show what I mean.
A thing of beauty is not a joy forever.



First Miss India( held in the year 1949) Pramila (Esther Abraham) is now 90 Years old



Sent by Partha Sengupta

Observations on Growing Older

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them

...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.

Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"...

They add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.

Now you get discounts on everything...

Movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

~You forget names ... But it's OK

Because other people forgot

They even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose

Is now 15 and you have a better chance

Of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going

To be really good at anything .... Especially golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you

To remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do,

You no longer care to do,

But you really do care that you

Don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair

With the TV blaring than he does in bed.

It's called his "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said,

"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?

Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say,

"I hope my kids GET married...

Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked

With just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...

Were unheard of, and a mouse was something

That made you climb on a table.

~You used to use more 4 letter words ...

"what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford

Expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys,

But he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired ...You'd give anything if he'd find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...2 of which you will never wear.

~~~~But old is good in some things:

Old songs,

Old movies,

And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

Love you, "OLD FRIEND!"

Sent by Prakash Bhartia.

When I play with my grand children, I feel the best part of growing old and handing over the batton to your children, is having grand children.
You never enjoy the growing up of your own children for then you are busy, earning your living and carrying out your responsibilities.
But with grand children you are free, unencumbered with burden of earning and responsibility. That has now shouldered by your children.
This is when you watch every step of their growth, their crawling on their knees, their staggering attempts to walk and then run, their lisping tattle and continuous questions and their innocent, selfless hugs.
I feel having grand children and enjoying their company is the bonus God gives us for being good during our working lives.
THANK YOU GOD!!

Understanding Women

How well do you remember your Trigonometry and Calculus? Matt

"And thus, dear students, we have arrived at the formula for understanding women."



Sir, Mr. Lobo has sent the above calculation to understand a woman.
I think it would take many more (countless?) boards and still we would be nowhere near understanding them.

This same problem had been faced by Rex Harrison some 50 years ago.
His anguish is given below. Just click
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Doz5w2W-jAY

Mody or Modi, does it make any difference

Once some wit said “what’s in a name?” they owe me nothing.
But the same Modi or Mody does carry a lot of history of stories.
We have had quite a few persons of that name in India’s history who have hit the headlines.

Piloo Mody was an Indian politician and the founder of the Swatantra Party. He was an advocate of liberal and free politics of India. He was a member of the 4th and 5th Lok Sabha. He represented Godhra constituency in Gujarat in the parliament. Later, he was a member of the Rajya Sabha from 10 April, 1978 till his death. A member of the Parsi community, he was married to a Swiss national. An architecture school and a FIDE chess tournament are named in his honour.
Mody was educated at The Doon School, Dehradun and at the University of California, Berkeley, from where he did his Masters degree in Architecture. He was close to Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the former Pakistani prime minister, his school and college roommate. Piloo Mody was a great friend of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and wrote the book Zulfy my Friend ".
His brother, Russi Mody is a former chairman of Tata Iron and Steel Company Limited. Piloo was arrested by Indira Gandhi government under MISA in Emergency in India in 1975
Piloo lightened the proceedings in parliament with his humour.
Mr. Piloo Mody was once talking to a member sitting behind his seat. Shri Sita Ram Kesari addressing the Chair said, “Sir, Piloo Mody is standing with his back to the Chair which is highly objectionable.” Thereupon, the Chairman observed. “Don’t worry about Piloo Mody; he has no front or back, he is just round.” Mr. Piloo Mody was a fat and rotund member of the House

My favourite example of parliamentary humour, however, was a placard that sometime in the early 1970s was hung over the capacious form of the architect-turned-politician Piloo Mody. It bore the words: 'I AM A CIA AGENT'.
This was done because Indira Gandhi accused anyone who opposed her as being CIA Agents.

Russi Mody: He is the brother of Piloo but more famous because of his association with the house of Tatas although the breakup with the Tatas left an unpleasant taste in the mouth. The retirement was acrimonious which should have been avoided.

Syed Mody
Syed Modi (1962–1988) was an Indian badminton player, and an eight-time National Badminton champion (1980–87). He won the Austrian International in 1983 and 1984 and 1982 Commonwealth Games, Men's singles title [3]. His play displayed a mix of stylist Suresh Goel, of whom he was a protégé, and the effectiveness of Prakash Padukone, whom he succeed as a National Champion.
Modi was murdered on July 23, 1988 in Lucknow as he came out of the K. D. Singh Babu Stadium after a practice session. After his death, a badminton tournament was constituted in his memory, "Syed Modi Memorial", All India Syed Modi badminton championship hosted each year at Lucknow which turned into "Syed Modi International Challenge" in 2004, and starting December 2009 it would turn into "Syed Modi Grand Prix", organized by Badminton Association of India. The Railways of which he was an employee, opened the Syed Modi Railway stadium and auditorium at his native place, Gorakhpur.
The scandal surrounding Modi's murder attracted worldwide attention and remains unsolved with those charged having been set free. Doubts have been raised against Modi's wife Amita and her alleged paramour Sanjay Singh, an Indian politician, a former BJP Rajya Sabha member and a Lok Sabha member from Amethi, politician Akhilesh Singh, and Akhilesh's henchmen — Bhagwati Singh alias Pappu, Jitendra Singh alias Tinku, Amar Bahadur Singh and Balai Singh. The UP government recommended a CBI probe into the case, which in turn named the seven in its charge sheet filed on Nov 7, 1998. While Amita, Sanjay and Akhilesh were charge sheeted for conspiracy, the others were named for executing the act. Amita and Sanjay Singh challenged the charge sheet, before the sessions judge who dropped the case against them on Sept 17, 1990. Amita eventually married Sanjay Singh and changed her name from Amita Modi to Amita Singh. Akhilesh was exonerated by Allahabad High Court in 1996, subsequently all the three discharges were upheld by the Supreme Court. Out of the remaining four accused Amar Bahadur Singh was murdered and Balai Singh died during the course of trial, thus the remaining two accused, Bhagwati Singh and Jitendra, were put on trial by the CBI, though Jitendra Singh was also exonerated later
On August 22, 2009, nearly two decades after the murder the accused Bhagwati Singh, the lone surviving accused, was found guilty on two counts under Section 302 (murder) and Section 27 (possessing illegal arms) of IPC, by a Lucknow sessions court, which sentenced him to life imprisonment though the CBI had sought death sentence for him, plus from the life sentence, he was also given Rs 40,000 fine as also five years' RI and Rs 10,000 fine for recovery of unauthorized weapon from his possession.
People still feel that this was a clear case of justice miscarried as the accused were rich and powerful persons

Narendra Modi: This person requires no introduction. This blog would not be able to write all about him. He would require volumes.
People have two opposing views of him, either admiration or hatred.. He has been accused of instigating the riots in Gujarat post the train massacre in Godhra. The cases are still going on and it would be inadvisable to comment on them. The other feeling of admiration is for all that he has done for Gujarat. He was also instrumental in snatching the Nano car project from Bengal and taking it to Gujarat. Even people opposed to him in Gujarat concede that he has done to Gujarat in 10 years what the Congress and other BJP chief ministers could not do in 50 years. He is also known to be honest and a no nonsense CM. He neither takes bribes nor allows his government staff to take it. That is the secret of Gujarat’s developing fast. If in any state, the files move slowly, you may rest assured the officers concerned are taking bribes to clear the files.
Sushil Modi: He is the Dy. Chief Minister and leader of the BJP in Bihar. A banyan tree does not allow any other plants near it. So is the case with Sushil. He is overshadowed by Nitish Kumar, the chief minister, in all aspects so not much is known of him. However, the fact that the coalition in Bihar is still running is due to the understanding between Nitish Kumar and Sushil Modi. The Lalus and Paswans have tried to drive a wedge between them but so far they have filed..

Lalit Modi: He is the last but not the least important of the Modis. He has shrewd business sense and has made the IPL from scratch to its present powerful spots body. However, power and the madness to earn money and more money has been his undoing. Pride goes before fall. We all know the saying but we think it is for others. His pride made him many enemies who are all out now with their knives to cut him down to size.. I don’t think he has many days left as IPL chief.

Long Live America

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare". So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday.

Damn, this is a great country!



Sent by Prakash Bhartia.

We too spend crores of rupees every year to save the tiger, black buck and other endangered species. Why?
Because that is the in thing.
The whole world tries to be in the news even when a small squirrel is saved.
However, thousands of human beings die every year because of hunger, heat, rains, floods, crime and other goverment apathy. But these are not endangered species. There are so many of these, they are dispensable.
If the government thinks they are dispensable, they why allow them to be created in the first place?
Why doesn't the government do something to limit the size of the family as they do in China.
Whenever any beggarwoman comes to me to beg with a child in her arms I feel like crying out to "Why did you first bring the child into the world if you cannot feed it?"
The government thinks it is doing its duty by just putting out a few ads advising people to practise family planning.
It is not enough.
The government has to be proactive, using the carrot and stick.
If the people practise family planning,they are rewarded.
If they do not, they are punished.
The time for apathy is over.
There is no point on depending on Allah or Ishwar or God.
If you depend only on Him, He will send a natural calamity to do your work

Msgs from friends 63

Msg from Karanvir Mehta

Dear Radheshyam,

Sorry for not writing to you earlier. I'm back in Italy.
I have not got any positive feedback from my friends regarding Sritanu. I also spoke to my friends here but the job situation is terrible, and a number of my ex colleagues are being let off right now. It's really sad but I met 3 in the last 2 weeks who have lost their jobs.
It was good to meet you finally. I had a very interesting trip to school to see the section run by Br. James and also to Kalimpong to see the work being done by the Glen Foundation which Jimmy Keir has been writing to us about. They are both excellent initiatives and some very dedicated people are working in them. I had friends from Switzerland with me and they were also very impressed. They thought what GMS was doing for the poor girls of the area was fantastic and they will be contributing to the cause. Makes me feel proud about my school.
Take care.

Karan

Dear Karan,

Thanks for your mail. Yes, it was great seeing you after all the mails.
I am glad you could visit both Darj and Kalimpong. The Sikkim boys said you had been to Sikkim also.
I went to Sikkim for the first time.
I liked the place.
You may have read my report in our blog.
It’s OK regarding Sritanu.
He is back in India and is presently in Mumbai.
In India, the job market is much better so there should be no difficulty in his getting a job.
In the meantime he is looking after his shares business.
It’s becoming terribly hot in Kolkata, already 41deg.
I wonder what the temp will be by 1st week of June.
I assume it will be around 50 deg.

Bye for now.

Radheshyam

Msg from Kamal Kallani

Dear Mr. Radheshyam,

Please let me know where you have posted the Sikkim Trip photos.

Thanks, regards.

Kamal

Dear Kamal,

I had posted all the photographs on our blog as soon as we came.
You have not been looking at the blog
If you look up the blog from the 22nd onwards, you will see the the photographs.

Radheshyam

Msg from Safiul

Radheshyam:

Well April hasn't gone YET. Yes, the prospect of Inflation is real. Just my luck -- as I am approaching retirement, inflation is going to come and wipe its feasibility away.

Have started hearing from Matt [Mr. Lobo] again, so I'm happy.

Did I tell you NK came and visited this past summer? See attachment for details.

Safiul

Dear Safi,

Read your account of the last three months.
Very well written and hilarious in parts.
The photographs are really beautiful.
NK still looks the same although his crop has whitened not greyed like mine.
I suppose being associated with the seas; the saline atmosphere may have whitened them.
Your son cycled 3500 miles? That's great.
By the way do you in the states still use the miles?
I was confused whether it was Km or miles.
The account will be attached with our weekly mail for others to read and share your experiences
I suppose we Indian parents are very protective.
My son wanted to go to Darj by motor-bike when we had gone to the centenary celebrations.
His mother and I dissuaded him.
We told him if he went with a group it was OK but going alone is strictly NO NO.
.

Cheers,

Radheshyam

PS: I see now you have come updated in reading the weekly mails ):

Msg from Richard Johnson

Dear Radheshyam,

I love being on your email network ... Many Thanks... I have just changed my email address... please note...
Dr Richard Johnson
Senior Lecturer
School of Education
PO Box 71 Bundoora VIC 3083 Australia
Tel. +61 3 9925 7820
Fax +61 3 9925 7586
Email: richard.johnson@rmit.edu.au

Warm Regards

Richard

Dear Richard,

It’s always good to hear from you.
I have changed the ID.
Is this a new assignment or just a change of job?
I haven't received any articles from you for a long time.
Why are you depriving the boys of your knowledge?
Do keep writing.

Radheshyam

SCRABBLE

Those who love SCRABBLE should love the following.
I suppose I am not a fan.
Too much strain on my poor brain, the grey matter becomes black as smoke starts emnating.

Sent by Arun Shroff

TARGET WORD: REARRANGED WORD

PRESBYTERIAN: BEST IN PRAYER


ASTRONOMER: MOON STARER


DESPERATION: A ROPE ENDS IT


THE EYES: THEY SEE


GEORGE BUSH: HE BUGS GORE


THE MORSE CODE:HERE COME DOTS


DORMITORY: DIRTY ROOM


SLOT MACHINES: CASH LOST IN ME


ANIMOSITY: IS NO AMITY


ELECTION RESULTS:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


SNOOZE ALARMS: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S


A DECIMAL POINT: I'M A DOT IN PLACE


THE EARTHQUAKES: THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO: TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: WOMAN HITLER

Catching a Bull by it's Horns

My wife and I went to the Royal Adelaide Show yesterday. The first exhibit we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'


My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,


''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week!.........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'


My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and I should eventually make a full recovery.

Sent by Prakash Bhartia.

I don't know western women do it?
My wife would be too embarassed going even near a bull farm leave alone knudging me.

Wanted - A Ranch help!

A successful rancher died and left everything to

his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking

woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew

very little about ranching, so she decided to place

an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay

and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no

one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy,

figuring it would be safer to have him around the

house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours

every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was

doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,

"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.

You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one
Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon

entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting

by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off

my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her feet.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in

the fire light.

"Now take off my bra..." Again, with trembling
hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever

wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

Sent by Peter Barber.

I have a feeling that I may have posted this earlier.
If I have, our older readers will bear with me and the newer ones may enjoy it.

Income Tax Dept another Poodle of the Centre

Strikeback begins
- Modi raided, Pawar fires
OUR BUREAU

April 15: Income-tax officials today swooped down on the headquarters of the Indian Premier League and an office as well as home of Lalit Modi, the first sign of strikeback by the Centre emerging on a day Sharad Pawar spoke out in support of the besieged IPL chief and Narendra Modi’s name crept into the controversy.

Lalit’s suite at the Four Seasons hotel in Parel has been sealed and his laptop seized. Till midnight, eight tax sleuths were questioning the IPL boss. Sources said CCTV footage had been collected from the places searched, apparently to identify visitors.

The sources added that the tax officials had been asked to despatch the information collated to Delhi before Friday morning. Junior foreign minister Shashi Tharoor, at the centre of the IPL storm, is scheduled to make a statement in Parliament tomorrow.

The tax action, variously described as “raid”, “search”, “source probe” (one without a formal complaint) and “inquiry”, is being seen as an attempt to send a strong message to Lalit and his supporters that the UPA will no longer take matters lying down. The income-tax department, which falls under the finance ministry held by the Congress, would not have stepped in without clearance from the party leadership.

The swoop rolled hours after the spokesperson for the Kochi IPL consortium said Lalit was targeting the group under pressure from Gujarat chief minister Modi.

The political plot thickened tonight with Pawar publicly lending support to Lalit. “There is nothing wrong in disclosing the names of the stakeholders to the public,” the Union agriculture minister and UPA ally told CNN-IBN, referring to Lalit’s tweet through which the IPL chief disclosed the shareholding pattern in the Kochi consortium.

Pawar sought to clear the air on Narendra Modi, too, saying the Gujarat chief minister had no role in the episode.

The former BCCI chief did back Tharoor but his strong defence of Lalit came amid charges that a cabinet minister from Maharashtra had tried to dissuade the consortium from bidding for Kochi.

In Parliament, the BJP gave a breather to Tharoor by focusing on the Dantewada massacre but it has threatened to rake up the IPL issue tomorrow. Tharoor met Sonia Gandhi today.

However, a little after 5.30pm, the scene of action shifted to Mumbai. Two cars swerved into the compound of the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) adjacent to Mumbai’s Wankhede Stadium and four men stepped out.

As the four — it later emerged they were income-tax officials — strode towards the BCCI building, one of them put a finger on his lips to order an advancing guard to be silent. “I thought they had come for some secret meeting with the bosses,” the guard said later.

The four men went to the 4th floor — the dedicated IPL floor in the BCCI office. “They did not go to the first floor as everybody does,” the guard said. The first floor houses the administration wing headed by Ratnakar Shetty.

Lalit was not in the office when the sleuths stepped in. Contacted, Lalit brushed away the visit as a “mere inquiry” and said he would be at the scene soon. But Lalit did not turn up even after an hour — he had been held back by more IT sleuths at his office in Mumbai’s Worli for questioning.

A Mumbai IT source disputed Lalit’s claim. “We are not conducting any enquiries — we are here to find proof and documents. Unfortunately, they seem to have been destroyed. He claimed they were all destroyed in a fire at his Mumbai house five months ago. We have raided his house as well and will conduct checks on one of his other offices at a hotel from where he runs his new businesses.”

The tax officials also visited the office of IMG, the IPL’s media partner. Another group of officials had earlier gone to the premises of Parinee Developers, which has a 26 per cent stake in the Kochi consortium.


I had earlier on more than three occasions called the CBI a pet poodle of the Central Government to harass their opponents.
I failed to mention another one - the INCOME-TAX DEPARTMENT.
Everything was cosy-cosy with Lalit Modi as long as he did not disturb the congress.
He crossed the line when he got Tharoor involved in the IPL muck which everybody believes is true.
Instead of taking action of Tharoor, it has decided to take action on the complainant.
This is usually what happens in any police station when a person goes to file a complaint. Instead of taking action on the complaint, the police harass the complainant and try to force him to withdraw the FIR. Of course, the stakes being higher here, the top people in the congress are involved, including Sonia Gandhi, for this action could not have been taken without her consent.
I, personally, do not favour Lalit Modi.
He had become too big for his boot and extremely arrogant. The protest raised by BCCI members who were told to leave the pavillion recently must have made many enemies for him.
But, the way the congress is using the Income Tax department to settle its scores is highly abominable.
The corrupt and bankrupt government takes makes money from us even before the year is up by way of advance tax. However, it takes years to refund excess tax collected from us. How can these income tax people find time to do their work when they are settling personal scores of the government.

How to Get Blood in Emergency!!

Now it has become easier to get the blood we need.

All you have to do is just type "BLOOD and send SMS to 96000 97000" (in India )

EX: "BLOOD B+"

A BLOOD DONOR WILL CALL YOU!!

So please pass this message to all. It certainly would save many lives.

It's a Must to Know and Share. Do it now....

Forward this to all your friends as the minute you spare to share this info rmation can save somebody's life with rare Blood Group!

The above has come from my nephew, Rakesh.
Many a time such mail are sent, whether true or no, I am not sure.
However, any body in need of blood could try it out and report back if it is successful.
I would like a confirmation from an independent source before giving it my full approval.
I hp it is genuine.

PARENT - Job Description

Deciding the job description is one of the essential functions of HRD before releasing an ad for any post.
A parent's job is a full time job.
What would the reaction be if God released such an ad before allowing us the priveledge (ha! did I say something wrong?) of becoming parents?




This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs Rs….
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** AND A FOOTNOTE “THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

MY APPRECIATION TO ALL YOU GUYS WHO HAVE ALREADY DONE A FABULOUS JOB
&
MY LOVE TO ALL WHO ARE THINKING OF APPLYING FOR THE JOB

Sir, Mr Lobo, gives the job description of one such ad to see how many would apply and how many will tender in their resignations.
For me, the parent's part was difficult with my meagre salary and huge responsibilities but now when I play with my grand-children, I feel it was worth all the trouble.

Trouble again for Tharoor

Rendezvous alleges breach of trust by Lalit Modi

A. Vinod

HIRUVANANTHAPURAM: The controversy over the ownership of the Kochi IPL consortium seemed to assume the scale of a bitter war on Tuesday, with team franchisee Rendezvous Sports World filing a complaint with the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI), alleging breach of trust by IPL chairman and commissioner Lalit K. Modi.

“It is unfortunate to note that Mr. Modi himself has disclosed various vital aspects of the contract on Monday evening,” the complaint, written by co-owner of the franchise Vivek Venugopal to BCCI president Shashank Manohar, said.

The letter said:

“Information disclosed include shareholding pattern of the consortium as well as shareholding patterns of various participating consortium member companies. Please note that Mr. Modi has not disclosed such information for the other nine teams participating in the league. In addition, we have been seeing various remarks by Mr. Modi questioning the capability and the intentions of this consortium.

“As a consortium, we have abided by the terms and conditions of the bid document and franchise agreement in letter and in spirit. Behaviour and actions as conducted by Mr. Modi brings complete disrespect to the sport, the IPL league, as well as to the sanctity of the bidding process.”

The letter, which cited the confidentiality clause in the franchise agreement, sought Mr. Manohar's immediate intervention. “On behalf of the consortium, I sincerely request you to immediately instruct Mr. Modi to retract his statements… and apologise for the communications given in the media. We, as a consortium, are also contemplating legal action against Mr. Modi for his irresponsible behaviour, which brings disrepute to his office,” it said.

Modi's tweet

On Monday, within the space of 17 minutes, Mr. Modi used popular social networking platform Twitter to reveal details, including the stock options held by the members of the consortium that won the bid for the Kochi franchise of the IPL at the March 21 auction in Chennai.

He started with the tweet, “A lot of you are asking about the shareholders and events surrounding the Kochi team. I am compiling a note shortly and will put out a press release soon.”

He went on to add: “Twenty five per cent of Kochi team is given free to Rendezvous Sports for life. The same equity is non-dilutable in perpetuity. What does that mean? Why? Wait.” He then tweeted again: “Will disclose those details soon.”

Who are shareholders?

Keeping his promise, he then quite dramatically wrote: “Who are the shareholders of Rendezvous? And why have they been given this 100s of million dollars bonanza? Kochi shareholders are Rendezvous 25 per cent [free]; Rendezvous 1 per cent; Anchor 27 per cent; Parinee 26 per cent; Film Waves Combine 12 per cent; Anand Shyam 8 per cent; Vivek Venugopal 1 per cent.”

He went on to reveal more: “Rendezvous free equity – held by Kisan, Shailendra and Pushpa Gaikwad, Sunanda Pushkar, Puja Gulati, Jayant Kotalwar, Vishnu Prasad, Sundip Agarwal.”

Minutes later, Mr. Modi tweeted again in reply to a query from a fellow tweeter. “A big? I was told by him not to get into who owns Rendezvous. Especially Sunanda Pushkar. Why? The same has been minuted in my records.”

I disagree with team franchisee Rendezvous Sports World that Modi did a grave injustice in disclosing the names of the persons behind the deal. We income tax payers have to declare the source of all our money but these people who prepare crores and crores should not be asked just as the FII who bring hordes of money are not asked. If we ask, they will not come and then how will the share market rise or IPL spend trillions.

I suggest all these big money deals be more transparent and the persons behind the deal should be known.

Our Shashi attracts trouble like a bait attracts fish and just as a fish get pierced by the hook, Shashi too gets pierced.
I wonder whether it has anything to do with the weather or does the river Ganga have this effect.
Now Shashi seemed comparatively honest while he was in the USA slogging away at his desk in the UN but as soon as he lands in India he is accused in one case after another. It must be the river Ganga for the states through which the river passes are the most corrupt, UP and Bihar. This does not mean the other rivers do not have the same corruptible effect. We know for sure that Punjab and Haryana are just behind UP and Bihar in the corruptible index. But then we should not blame the poor rivers.They are inanimate objects which are defiled by mankind, although we worship them. I suppose it is their proximity to Delhi which is the corruption capital of India.
Have you noticed that Delhi does not have anything but the fuel prices and everything else is the least expensive in Delhi? Why?
Because they collect money from the rest of India and spend it as they want and lecture the others on fiscal discipline.
I would suggest that the Capital of India be shifted every 10 years to the 5 metros. I know it is a crazy idea but then we have to do crazy things to bring some discipline to these crazy Dehlites who think themselves gods and expect the whole of India to continue financing their crimes.