Boarding School or Day School ?

Hi friends,

I have received the following query from Saibal Basu of 1982 batch. He lives in USA and is in a dilemma as to whether he should send his son to a boarding school like Goethals.

Since this is a very pertinent question for all of us ex-students, I have tried to answer it with my 52 years experience. Remember I joined school in 1955.

Radheshyam.

Radheshyamji

Happy to receive your note and explanation about the souvenir. I wanted to add that I greatly enjoyed reading your detailed blog about your visit to GMS after 42 years. You used the right words, it was indeed ' a pilgrimage'.
My wife has also been taking a keen interest in the Centenary and it was a good opportunity for me to share with her stories about my days at Goethals. She is avowedly against sending either of our children to boarding school as is my mother-in-law who is visiting us here in the U.S. She often wonders how many ex-Goethalites (not living in the Darjeeling hills area) have sent their children to Goethals. I was wondering if you have any statistics regarding this matter. Since we ex-Goats hold such fond memories about Goethals and it was a fulfilling experience for most, did that motivate us into sending our children there too?

Regards

Saibal

Dear Saibal,

There is no fixed rule as to whether you should send your son to a boarding school

I will tell you my story.

In 1955 when I joined Goethals, we used to live in erstwhile East Pakistan, at a place called Chuadanga, in Kushtia district. It was only in 1971, the country came to be known as Bangladesh, thanks to Indira Gandhi.

There were two more boys (brothers) who had joined Goethals before me from Chuadanga. Om Prakash and Nandalal Agarwala. Om Prakash was about four years senior to me and Nandu was one year senior.

Chuadanga was a small place.

Nandu was especially protective and saved me from bullies. At that time the school was full of Anglo Indian Bullies, one of whom by the name of Timothy Lyons, I still remember.

My father was very impressed with the English speaking prowess of Om and Nandu and wanted me to be able to speak the same way.For him it was prestige, for me it was a life saver.

You see, living in E Pakistan was very difficult.We felt very unsafe.Every time there were communal riots in India, we felt the repercussions there.

Further, all our relatives lived in India. So whenever there was a family gathering or function we used to come over to India. This used to be quite often as my grandfather had five sons and three daughters and the families then were large. People during those days had not heard of restricted family growth.

Naturally this movement between Kolkata and Chuadanga used to play havoc with my education.

So, it was in my best interest that I was sent to a boarding school

I used to cry a lot when I left our house in Burrabazar and even more when the Darjeeling Mail left Sealdah. I used to sit by the window and as each station passed I would think can I go back home if I get down now.

It was only when our train passed Rampurhat, where we got our lunch, that I gave up hope and started mixing with the boys. So you must understand the trauma we felt when we parted from our parents.

In fact, that was the first question I asked the two small boys of class II whose photographs you may have seen in my report. "Do you cry when you come to school?"

Their answer was the same as mine. " Yes, we cry for sometime and then forget"

My aunt (Jethi), father's elder brother's wife, used to reprimand my mother asking her what sort of mother she was sending her only son away so far. At that time I was the only son. I had an elder and younger sister. It was only later that I got three more brothers.

My uncle (Jetha), used to then explain to my aunt that it was a very good decision which will benefit me later in life. I now agree with him although at that time I used to curse my parents.

I was the first member in our family being educated.

In the previous generation only my second Jetha was a Matriculate. All the other uncles and aunts had dropped out of school after a few years.

The school had given us a prospectus. In it they had mentioned that all clothes of a student should be marked with their names so that they did not get lost.

My father gave all my pants and shirts to a tailor to mark my name.

Now, my name is "R S Sharma".

I don't know how, but the tailor got it into his head and marked them "R D Sharma".

This name was prominently displayed at the bottom of my shirts and pants (seat area) .

Well for the shirts, it was no problem, for they are tucked inside the trousers.

But for the pants you may imagine my embarrassment, walking all around the school with R D Sharma displayed in 1" size letters on my behind.

And the worst part was explaining what R D stood for.

Well, I was ingenuous even in those days.

I used to say Ra Dheshyam Sharma. But I new at heart the boys did not believe me.

Even to this day some of my old friends still call me RD instead of RS.

As matter of fact one friend A K Shroff called up my home a few days back and asked for R D Sharma.

My wife replied that there was no R D Sharma living here.

Fortunately,I was standing by and overheard her reply and retrieved the situation.

Well having lived through all those sad days at that time but happy days looking back, and with all these years of experience.I shall try to answer your question.

You should put your sons in a good boarding school like Goethals, if you can afford it.

I wanted to put my sons in Goethals after around class VI but with all the family responsibilities, I could not afford it.

One should make a dispassionate decision and have their sons admitted if any of the conditions below are fulfilled.

a) If one has a transferable job and would not be able to get his son admitted into a good school in his next posting.

b) If both parents are working and the son is left in the care of ayahs and servants.

c) If he and/or his spouse are of the partying kind and any one or both of them come home drunk.

d) If one has a job which requires a lot of travel and the wife cannot take the responsibility of the son's education

e) If one is an anti-social element, criminal, politician or sex worker, since he/she will be a bad influence on his/her son. Of course, if they want the son to follow their footsteps, DO NOT SEND HIM TO SUCH SCHOOLS, for he may revolt against their activities and leave home.(Many politicians, minister, chief ministers and even prime ministers have made this a family business)

f) If you live in a joint family. Since there always seem to be functions in joint families where every body has to attend and the child's education suffers.

g) If at least one parent is not conversant with the English language to speak to the child at home in English.

h) If you have the child's grandparent(s) living with you who will spoil the child with excessive love and tolerance without any discipline. This is unpleasant to say, I know, but many children have been spoilt by grandparents.

However, if the even one or more of the above conditions conditions do not exist, it is better that the child has his education at least up to class VI or VII, in the care of the parents.

Thereafter, I understand it is difficult to get admission in a boarding school. But if it is possible, a boy should go to a boarding school to gain discipline.

This discipline would stand them in good stead, later when he goes to college.

I have seen boys coming to college.

Getting this freedom suddenly after a sheltered home life spoils many a student.

Their results were good in school when they were at home.

Suddenly in college, they start smoking, drinking and other harmful activities and their results go from bad to worse.

These boys, if they had been broken into hostel life from class VI or VII in school, would not suddenly misuse the new found freedom.

There, I have given my views

I know some may not agree with me. But then dissidence is part of democracy.

Cheers for Goethals

Radheshyam