The Alphabets revisited

The following reminds me of Shakespeare
"The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

In this stage we have to re-learn the alphabets acoording to what we know.
Keith Hayward tells to re-visit us the aphabets with the new meaning for our age.

DOES THIS NEW ALPHABET APPLY TO YOU?

New Alphabet
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now

The Alphabet

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
Perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which we'd rather not mention.

H High blood pressure-We'd rather it low;
I For incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory; we forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions. We have quite a few,
Just give us a pill and we'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting our fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in our ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found..
Y for another year we are left here behind,
Z is for zest WE still have - in OUR minds.

We've survived all the symptoms, our body's deployed, and
We're keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed.

IF YOU ARE OLD, HAVE A GREAT DAY..
IF NOT, YOUR TURN WILL COME!!