Life's like that

Hi friends,

I have been talking of all serious stuff up to now.
Well, here are few definitions and pearls which will curve your lips into a smile while you usher in the new year.

Definitions:

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Nurse: A person who wakes U up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

And another thirteen points which you could remember for a happier life

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want :)

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

Life is Like That

A Jewish couple from the USA had gone to Jerusalem for their holidays.
Whilst there, the wife fell seriously ill and died.
The undertaker asked the bereaved husband whether he would want to take the body to the states or have her buried in Jerusalem.
Between sobs, the poor man asked what would be the difference.
The undertaker informed him that if she was buried there it would cost him $100.00 and if he took her body to the states it would cost him $3000.00.
The man thought deeply for a moment or two and then replied that he would take the body to the states.
This floored the undertaker.
He asked,"But why ? When it is much cheaper to bury here"
The man replied,"I Know. But about 2000 years ago, another man had died here. They buried him here and he rose after tree days. I can't afford to take the risk"

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Everybody"

Radheshyam