Thursday, January 10, 2013
Husband Missing Report A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!" Gossiping in a toilet I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the next toilet saying: 'Hi, how are you?' I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'I am Doing' just fine!' And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?' What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: Uhhh, I'm like you, nature dictates!' At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can, but nature hadn't let go as yet, when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?' Gosh Whaaaat!, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I say ... 'No...... you know I am busy right now, I guess you are busy too!!!' Then I hear the person say nervously...... ...... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the next toilet who keeps answering all my questions.' Mobile phones! Don't we just love them. Missing Life A CEO in a small boat is crossing to another island, talks to a fisherman. CEO: Have you been to college? Fisherman: No, i have no money to go to college. CEO: You missed half of your life. Have you been around the world? Fisherman: No, i can't afford that. CEO: You missed another half of your life. (Just then a storm comes and water entered the boat which starts sinking). Fisherman: Do you know how to swim? CEO: No! Fisherman: Then you'll miss your WHOLE LIFE!