A Fairy Tale with a difference

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant claimant outside the Social Security Offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said,

'I've been told to grant you three wishes,

since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children.'

The man told the fairy:

'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and --PING!!!

He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two, more wishes, to go'.

The refugee claimant now got bolder.

'I need a big house with a three car garage in Birmingham with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.

PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.

'One, more wish, left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

I want to be English with English clothes instead of rags, and shawl and I want to have white skin like the English.'

PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from ASDA, a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap.

He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed.

'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'

The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are English,

you're entitled to sweet f*** all like the rest of us”.

And she disappeared

An Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl, tzitzis and traditional locks of hair. He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish.

So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for that Jew over there."

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Jew gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the Arab. He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Jew.

As before, this does not seem to bother the Jewish guy. He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!"

The Arab asks the bartender,

"What's the hell is the matter with that Jew? I've ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly bugger does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?

"Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place."

Both the above sent by Prakash Bhartia