Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.


* "He was at his best when the going was good." -Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor

* "There but for the grace of God - goes God." -Winston Churchill

* "If I am reading this graph correctly - I'd be very surprised." -Stephen Colbert

* "You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing-after they have tried everything else." -Winston Churchill

* "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." -Dorothy Parker

* "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx

* "A modest man, who has much to be modest about." -Winston Churchill

* "She looks as though she's been poured into her clothes, and forgot to say 'when'." -P. G. Wodehouse

* "I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." -Emo Phillips

* "If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker." -Homer Simpson

* "I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." -Mitch Hedberg

* "I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." -Bill Hicks


o Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

o The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

o If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. (I have to remember this one!)

o We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

o War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

o Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

o Evening news is where they begin with, 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

o To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

o A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

o Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

o Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

o I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

o Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

o Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

o The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

o I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

o To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call whatever you hit the target.

o Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

o A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Sent by Prakash Bhartia

I have an odd feeling I may have posted this earlier.
They are god anyhow.