Indian or Western

Only Women Could Understand...
When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your bag. (Oh yeah, the bag around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time).. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your bag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your bag topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.

You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.' As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's toilet. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your bag hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public rest rooms/toilets (rest??? You've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom/toilets in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your bag and hand you Kleenex under the door!

The above is from Rex Barker.
It is a good example of the benefits of the Indian style toilets.
I'll tell you a secret.
We stayed 11 years in school where we use the western toilets but being public toilets used by young school boys they were always messed up and we had to use it Indian style. You may imagine how we used to balance ourselves on the thin rims to sit and perform.
This we did for several years until our Christian Brothers helped us by making cemented platforms, level with the rims so that we could all sit safely Indian style without falling off.
I never knew until many years after passing from school that the western toilets were to be mounted astride like you do a horse.
During our centenary I noticed they have provided water inside the toilets to wash off but during our days, toilet papers, bog paper, we used to call them, was the only solution. Well not always. Sometimes, some rough books used to go missing and we guessed where it must have gone.
So, what is the benefit of the Western toilet.
For old people, invalids, people with back or knee pains or people who have constipation, these are the best.They can be used in homes and other places where they are kept meticulously clean. It is inadvisable using them in public places where cleanliness is given a low priority.
For healthy people who don't have the above problems, the Indian toilet is the best.
They are also the best where you use water for ablutions.
I suppose, that is why the western people always use cutlery like spoons, forks and knives for eating their food. They are never sure whether their hands do not have some of the mess sticking to them.
We Indians can safely use our hands for eating as we use water at every step to wash off the dirt from our hands.
I suppose, the cold climate where the water freezes, may have been one of the reasons why people started using toilet paper.
But nowadays, with all the modern convenience, with warm water available in every room, surely, they could start using water.
In my first year in school, when I went home in June for my sister's marriage, I told my grandfather that we use paper and not water in our toilets.
They all had a good laugh and then told me not to enter their kitchens.
The Indian Railways provide three Indian and one Western toilet in each Sleeper Class compartment.
If you notice, people usually avoid the western toilets (me included).
They use the western for #1 and not for #2