Some Definitions

SCHOOL : A place where parents pay and children play

LIFE INSURANCE : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

NURSE : A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

MARRIAGE : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

DIVORCE : Future tense of Marriage.

TEARS : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower..

LECTURE : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through "the minds of either"

CONFERENCE : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

COMPROMISE : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

DICTIONARY : A place where success comes before work.

CONFERENCE ROOM : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

FATHER : A banker provided by nature.

CRIMINAL : A person no different from the rest
...except that he/she got caught.

BOSS : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

DOCTOR : A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

CLASSIC : Books, which people praise, but do not read.

SMILE : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

OFFICE : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

YAWN : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE : The name men give to their mistakes.

ATOM BOMB : An invention to end all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER : A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

Sent by S K Basu.
I suppose all the definitions are valid.