Senior Citizen's Tax Return....

I just received an audit on my tax return for 2012 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!!

They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.

I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"

I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads;

42 million unemployed people on food stamps,

2 million people in over 243 prisons;

and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."

1 useless President.

Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO The Hell DID I MISS?

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited..

Their weekend assignment was to sell something, and then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit, and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good", said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines" she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events. “Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom, and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467", he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes", said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes" echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town", said Little Johnny.

"I set up a Dip & Chip stand, and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing: "Hey, this tastes like dog poop!"

Then I would say, "It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free, and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."

Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment. Bless his little heart.

Sent by Prakash Bhartia