Confucious Says

Harold & Roger, two Newfie Engineers, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by and asks what they were doing. 'We're supposed to find the height of dis here flagpole says Harold, but we gots no jesus ladder'

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement and proudly announced 'twenty one feet, six inches' and walked away.

Roger just shakes his head and laughed, ' lord tunderin Harold, just like a woman, we want the height and she gives us the godamn length'.

Some Modern thoughts of Confucious

It's okay to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.

Man with a broken condom is called a Daddy.

Man who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax, doesn’t know if he's coming or going.

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest.

Viagra is like Disneyland... a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

It is much better to want the mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.

A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.

Hooker

A new standard in First Lady fashion.

My God, Jackie Kennedy must be rolling over in her grave. I also wonder what the Bushes thought after seeing this???

$1,596,899.49 to attend a one day national event dressed like a hooker.

Many thanks to the 51% that voted them back in!

Sent by Prakash Bhartia

I was just wondering what our Didi would have done to me if I had put such a picture of her on our blog