No noose is good news.

There was once a court jester who was famous for his puns.
He made one too many of the king who got terribly annoyed and angry.
He ordered the jester to be hanged the next day.
However, during the course of the day, the king realized that it was difficult coming by a good jester.
He called the jester and informed him that he was forgiving him this time but he should never repeat these puns.
But it is difficult getting over a habit.
The jester smiled and said, " No noose, is good news."

The above was told to us by Bro.Forhan in school.

The following puns have been sent by Prakash Bhartia


When chemists die, they barium.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any time.

Q: How does Moses make his tea?
A: Hebrews it.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
met herbivore.

The pathologist's report said I had Type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry?
A: It goes back four seconds.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A: A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington ... ? It's the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too.

Angus Broon of Glasgow, Scotland, comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming, "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that's come off of me fly? I can't button me pants."

"Oh Angus, I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it."

About 5 minutes later, there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs.

Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Angus. The little lady looks at him and says, "My god, what happened to ya? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Aye," says Angus. "I asked her to sew on the wee button, an she did, everything was goin' fine but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr MacDonald walked in."