MOSHE IN THE BAR

Moshe is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and
gulps it down in one swig, then menacingly says, "Thanks, Jew
Boy, whatcha gonna to do about it?"

Moshe burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I
can't stand to see a man crying. What's your problem?"

"This is the worst day of my life," Moshe says. "I'm a
complete failure. I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired
me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been
stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the
cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the postman,
and then my dog bit me.

"So I come to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to
it all. I buy a drink; drop a capsule in, and sit here watching
the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole
thing! But enough about me; how's your day going?"

The Jewish Farmer

A Jewish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.

A stranger is seen kneeling and drinking water from his pond usining his left hand.

The farmer shouts:
'Trink nisht das vasser. Die kihen haben gesheissen dahin.'
('Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.')

The man shouts back:
'I'm a Muslim, you idiot. I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English!'

The farmer says:
'It's vould be much easieh if you use bote de hands!!'

Sent by Prakash Bhartia
The Jews have the knack of speaking their minds.

Have a nice day!!