Catty Stories

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS
SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS
TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES
BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT
ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO ".

The above is from Pradeep Mohan

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said, "Spread sheet, do your stuff."
Spread sheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.

He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured Exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said,

"Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet,

Ate the cookies, Drank the milk, Sh*t on the paper,

Screwed the other three cats.
Claimed he injured his back while doing so.

Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions

Put in for Workers Compensation and Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!
The above is from John Kingsley

I'll tell you a secret.
We are all idealistic in our younger days and want to change the world.
When I passed out of college I did not want to join government service as I was aware people there did no work and were most corrupt.
But after changing jobs five times because of companies shutting down I often felt I had made a mistake in not applying for government jobs.
After my last stint in a private organisation wherein I had built up a rapport with the owners, they have retained me even after my retirement.
Now I fell, I may not have made a mistake, after all.