Smileys

Today, we in Bengal are celebrating another one of Jyoti Basu's birthdays.
Yes, we are having a Bandh called by the CITU, the labour union wing of the Communist party of India (Marxist), to protest against the centre's anti-people policies.
This is supposed to be an all India bandh. But you can be sure it will fail all over except Bengal, Kerala and maybe Tripura as all three states have a Marxist government who look after the workers interest.
Not working is after all in the workers interest.

While our boys in the three states are twiddling their thumbs, they may as well enjoy a few jokes sent in by Lalit Narayan.

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten Terror.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten Terror? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error

before?'

'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll

figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T



In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room.

A family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,"

he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.

Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."


The FBI, DEA and CIA all argue that they are the best law enforcement agency in the world, so to find out once and for all which of them really is they devise a competition.

They release a rabbit into a forest, and whichever agency finds it first will be declared the best.

The FBI goes first. After two weeks of interviewing plants and animals, the FBI concludes that no rabbit has ever existed.

The DEA goes next. After burning down half the forest and defoliating the rest, they also find no rabbit.

The CIA goes last, and after a few moments, agents drag out a badly beaten bear, screaming "Ok, Ok! Yes, I'm a rabbit!"


A man was in court for a double murder and the judge said: 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner.'

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out: 'You *******!'

The judge continued: 'You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner.'

Again the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out: 'You ******* *******!!!'

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the court room, and said: 'Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?'

The man at the back of the court stood up and responded: 'For 15 years I've lived next door to the accused and every time I asked to borrow a ******* spanner, he said he didn't have one!