Jeremy Hunt, the UK Health Secretary, is asking young people to have the elderly over to their houses for a chat and a cup of tea, as a way to combat loneliness in their country.
So appropriate. I've always thought people in the West were too individualistic, not caring about others, not letting people get very close, often distancing themselves from friends and family, obsessing about space and whatnot.
How can you need to be so distanced that a government representative has to instruct you to connect with human beings? Shocking.
But is it really so far-fetched in our society? Are we not just a few years away from that kind of edict ourselves? Are we not a society moving in the direction of extreme individualism (or what Hunt calls 'atomised lives'), starting with our new habit of nuclear families, migrating away from our families, valuing money over relationships ('thank you for helping me, here is a hundred rupees'), so as to head in the direction of a disintegrating social fabric?
Are we going to end up in a society where our dead have nobody attending their funerals? This is what is happening in the UK now...
"That is around eight 'lonely funerals' every single day, half of which were for over-65s," Hunt said. "Are we really saying these people had no living relatives or friends? Or is it something sadder, namely that the busy, atomised lives we increasingly lead mean that too often we have become so distant from blood relatives that we don't have any idea even when they are dying?"
Do we need to keep this up till our government says, 'okay, now be a good person and go say hi to an older person once in a while?'
Our government is either not willing or able to carry the burden of caring for our elderly. In a study of 91 countries, India ranked a poor 73 in a survey by Global Age Watch Index. On all parameters for the elderly - health care, employment, enabling environment and income security - India ranked poorly.
Being an aging Indian is tough. Considering we have one of the largest aging populations on earth, this is a very sad situation. But it wasn't always like that.
Do you remember the days when one of the values we were taught about ourselves as a culture was 'respect for elders'?
The days when we referred to everyone our parents' ages as 'uncle' and 'aunty'. I think we probably still call people that, but I'm not sure we treat them like family anymore.
We imagine the elderly as 'wasting away', their good years behind them, but let's hope they are not. Because we will be there someday so it better still be a good life.
The elderly don't just need us. We need them too. It is a symbiotic relationship. When we step forward to offer companionship, we get rewarded with wisdom. If we are looking for answers about where we want our lives to go, we can find answers in their life experiences. If we are to continue any legacy, that's who we get it from.
And not to mention, that if we let this culture of elderly care disintegrate, then it will come back to slap us in the faces when we become old and there is no one left to care for us.
In response to Hunt's call one older gentleman Techie27 commented on the Guardian's online forum that:
| 'They say when you retire you wonder how you ever had time to fit work into the day as well. The "they" were work colleagues who had already retired. Now retired - I find myself repeating this adage to people who wonder if I'm bored and lonely. The only thing that has become boring is the regular sleep and meal times ordained by the doctor. So bedtime no later than 2am - and up by 9am. Unfortunately that means the list of things to do just gets longer. At least it rained today - which relieves me of the task of watering several people's gardens. It also means a respite from inflating paddling pools and footballs - or repairing water guns and model cars for the neighbours' children. Now please excuse me - so I can get back to some computer programming. One day when I'm really old - there might even be time to watch the thousand DVDs that have been accumulated.' |
They can still have full, rich lives. They can still contribute to society, learn new things, pursue their passions. What they need is an enabling environment, an environment where they are not discriminated against, where they are not condescended to, where they are not treated like they don't matter or have nothing to contribute.
If we want to believe that we are the kind of humans that have any measure of humanity, how we behave towards older people will reveal that to us.
So before our government starts to dictate who we have chai with... like they are dictating what we eat (don't eat Maggi! don't eat beef!), and what we do (clean the streets!) maybe we should look at our own behaviours and figure out what we should be doing.
Don't wait for an external diktat to do what you should be doing anyways, listen to your inner government. Ask yourself:
'What do you need to do as an individual, and as part of a society, to support people who have been caring for you, your society, and your nation, until now, so you don't wake up one day suffering from the aftermath of your own apathy?'
Support those around you who are older to pursue the things they want to do.
Encourage the elders in your life to follow their passions, and enrich their lives with dignity.
Connect with the elderly who live, perhaps alone, in homes around you; have them over for chai.
Have conversations with people who have seen a lot more life than you... you never know, you might learn something from them that could change your life.
The above is from Equitymaster, Common Sense Living In India.
It is very pertinent in today's age where life span of people is increasing and children are moving out, sometimes abroad for a living.
I would advise the old to take up a hobby or some work to keep them busy so that they do not feel unwanted and a burden to society.
I have been blessed with employers who have retained my services at a reduced pace so that I am not overburdened and my interest in the share market keeps me busy right up to 10.00 PM.
I am also blessed with children who keep regular contact although they are thousands of miles away.
I can only thank God for all His blessings!
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