The Ten Commandments, Modified.

These commandments have been sent by Keith Hayward.
Either I may have read them earlier or I may have posted them earlier.
Whatever it may be, the ten commandments are always important, whether brought down by Moses or sent by Keith.

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and
lightning.

***********

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

***********

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100
grand!

***********

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours
listen.

***********

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

***********

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

***********

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before
you finish.

***********

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
understanding, economical, and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

***********

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That
is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

***********

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that,
he is finished.

***********

Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The
husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned
over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.


The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"It really works!"

I just hope Sylvia is not reading this.