The Irish & Italians

Why Italians Pass Their Handguns Down Through the Family

An old Italian man is dying.
He calls his grandson to his bedside.. " Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I
wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always
remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex
watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna
have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of
bambinos "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with
another man...

"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"

The luck of the Irish

A doctor wanted to get off work and play golf, so he approached his new Irish assistant Paddy.

"I am going golfing tomorrow Paddy and I don't want to close the surgery. Would you mind taking over and seeing to the patients?"
"No problem, sorr!" answers Paddy.
The doctor goes off to golf and returns the following day and asks: "So, Paddy, how was your day?"
Paddy told him that he had three patients to attend to.
"The first one had a headache so I gave him Panadol."
"Bravo mate and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had indigestion so I gave him milk of magnesia".
"Excellent. That was the right thing to do and what about the third patient?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman bursts in, undresses, taking everything off including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs wide and shouts: 'Please help me! For five years I haven't seen a man!'"
"Good God!" exclaims the doctor, "What did you do?"
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"I put eye drops in her eyes!"

Both went by Prakash Bhartia