The liquid inside young coconuts can be used
as a substitute for Blood plasma.
************ ********* ********* *** ************
No piece of paper can be folded in half
more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...
************ ********* ********* *********
Donkeys kill more people annually
than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your A** )
************ ********* ********* *********
You burn more calories sleeping
than you do watching television.
************ ********* ********* *********
Oak trees do not produce acorns until
they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
************ ********* ********* *********
The first product to have a bar code
was Wrigley's gum.
************ ********* ********* *********
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
************ ********* ********* *********
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating
one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
************ ********* ********* *********
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does
this tell you ?)
(That women are going the 'right' direction... ..?)
************ ********* ********* *********
Apples, not caffeine,
are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .
************ ********* ********* ******
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN !
************ ********* ********* *********
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********
PEARLS DISSOLVE
IN VINEGAR !
************ ********* ********* *********
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
************ ********* ********* *********
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
but, not downstairs.
************ ********* ********* *********
A duck's quack doesn't echo,
and no one knows why.
************ ********* ********* *********
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at
least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne
particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !)
************ ********* ********* *********
And the best for last....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Remember, knowledge is power, ......and go move your toothbrush !!!
Sent by Arun Shroff
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Follow thy Leader
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test
and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss
his use of the existing car in the house.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring
your grades up from a C to a B , study your bible a little,
and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about you using the car.
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle
for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought
your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying
your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that,
and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had
long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long
hair ... and the biggest of all, Lord Jesus had long hair.
.
.
.
To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice that they
walked everywhere they went?'
Sent by Arun Shroff
and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss
his use of the existing car in the house.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring
your grades up from a C to a B , study your bible a little,
and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about you using the car.
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle
for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought
your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying
your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that,
and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had
long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long
hair ... and the biggest of all, Lord Jesus had long hair.
.
.
.
To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice that they
walked everywhere they went?'
Sent by Arun Shroff
Dishonesty in the Judiciary
Bar owners bribed SC judge: Kerala MP
Shaju Philip,
Feb 14, 2011 at 0407 hrs IST
Thiruvananthapuram Senior Congress leader from Kerala, K Sudhakaran, has alleged that in 1994, a Supreme Court judge had pocketed Rs 36 lakh to lift a Kerala High Court ban on 21 bar licences in the state.
Sudhakaran, who represents Kannur in the Lok Sabha, said though he did not have any proof to back his allegation, he was ready to disclose the name of the judge and other details in a court if asked to do so.
Addressing a reception to felicitate Kerala Congress (B) chairman R Balakrishnan Pillai — sentenced to a year’s imprisonment in a corruption case — in Kottarakkara, Sudhakaran claimed he was a spectator to the incident that allegedly took place in Kerala House in Delhi towards the end of 1994.
He claimed the judge had been given Rs 36 lakh in two installments. The single-judge bench was to consider a petition of bar owners who wanted the SC to quash the high court order against licences issued by the then Congress government, led by K Karunakaran.
After the judge was allegedly paid Rs 21 lakh, a messenger was sent to the aggrieved parties seeking more money with a promise that tax on the bars could be relaxed, Sudhakaran said. Rs 15 lakh was paid again, he claimed.
“I did not say it outside because of respect towards court as an institution. Not because I think that judges are honest, respectful towards law, efficient and honour the social system,” said Sudhakaran in the meeting.
The Congress MP told The Indian Express that he had no evidence to prove this allegation. “But what I said was truth. I will disclose the name of the judge and other details in a court if am asked to do so.”
He said he was in Delhi at that time in connection with his review petition in the Supreme Court against the election of CPM leader O Bharathan from Edakkadu Assembly segment. Sudhakaran was defeated in the election in 1992.
“The review petition of the bar owners and my petition were before the same bench. A lawyer told me that they were dealing with the judge on the bar licence issue and he would be bribed. The lawyer asked me to come to Kerala House to see the transfer of money,” said Sudhakaran.
“Accordingly, I went to Kerala House and saw a lawyer handing over the amount to a clerk from the court. I was only a spectator. I have no evidence to buttress my claim.”
Sudhakaran said he was ready to face any punishment for having “revealed the truth.”
In the meeting, Pillai and his son K B Ganesh Kumar attacked the judiciary. “When this Left government is gone, we will be lucky to see some of the family members of Chief Minister V S Achuthanandan loitering on the premises of the courts. Everything will come out,” Pillai said.
Ganesh Kumar said Achuthanandan, who was petitioner in the corruption case in which Pillai was convicted, tried to influence the judiciary.
Reacting to the charges, Achuthanandan said a reception for a person to be jailed in a corruption case was a challenge to the judiciary.
The CPM state secretariat, in a statement, demanded that the Supreme Court should suo motu make a case against Sudhakaran for levelling such allegations.
Anybody who has had the misfortune to visit any court in the country will have been aware of how the court clerk (we call the peshkars) demands money to put your papers in front of the judge, out of turn. Now you can be sure that money is shared by the judges or magistrates whoever sits on that august chair.
As long as it was petty amounts, people bore it wryly.
But then the judges appetite increased when they saw the politicians making money.
Thus we see and hear of judges being impeached and judges being brought under the RTI act so that people can squeeze out information from the judiciary.
The judges were very reluctant to come under the RTI and their charge was lead by the former Chief Justice, Balakrishnan.
Now we know why?
The cat is out of the bag.
He is being accused above of demanding Rs 30.00 lakhs for dismissing cases against the Kerala bar owners.
If the judiciary is branded as corrupt who is going to save India?
We can truly say that a social revolution has occurred in India when the first Scheduled Caste Chief Justice of India is also the first chief justice to be branded as corrupt.
Shaju Philip,
Feb 14, 2011 at 0407 hrs IST
Thiruvananthapuram Senior Congress leader from Kerala, K Sudhakaran, has alleged that in 1994, a Supreme Court judge had pocketed Rs 36 lakh to lift a Kerala High Court ban on 21 bar licences in the state.
Sudhakaran, who represents Kannur in the Lok Sabha, said though he did not have any proof to back his allegation, he was ready to disclose the name of the judge and other details in a court if asked to do so.
Addressing a reception to felicitate Kerala Congress (B) chairman R Balakrishnan Pillai — sentenced to a year’s imprisonment in a corruption case — in Kottarakkara, Sudhakaran claimed he was a spectator to the incident that allegedly took place in Kerala House in Delhi towards the end of 1994.
He claimed the judge had been given Rs 36 lakh in two installments. The single-judge bench was to consider a petition of bar owners who wanted the SC to quash the high court order against licences issued by the then Congress government, led by K Karunakaran.
After the judge was allegedly paid Rs 21 lakh, a messenger was sent to the aggrieved parties seeking more money with a promise that tax on the bars could be relaxed, Sudhakaran said. Rs 15 lakh was paid again, he claimed.
“I did not say it outside because of respect towards court as an institution. Not because I think that judges are honest, respectful towards law, efficient and honour the social system,” said Sudhakaran in the meeting.
The Congress MP told The Indian Express that he had no evidence to prove this allegation. “But what I said was truth. I will disclose the name of the judge and other details in a court if am asked to do so.”
He said he was in Delhi at that time in connection with his review petition in the Supreme Court against the election of CPM leader O Bharathan from Edakkadu Assembly segment. Sudhakaran was defeated in the election in 1992.
“The review petition of the bar owners and my petition were before the same bench. A lawyer told me that they were dealing with the judge on the bar licence issue and he would be bribed. The lawyer asked me to come to Kerala House to see the transfer of money,” said Sudhakaran.
“Accordingly, I went to Kerala House and saw a lawyer handing over the amount to a clerk from the court. I was only a spectator. I have no evidence to buttress my claim.”
Sudhakaran said he was ready to face any punishment for having “revealed the truth.”
In the meeting, Pillai and his son K B Ganesh Kumar attacked the judiciary. “When this Left government is gone, we will be lucky to see some of the family members of Chief Minister V S Achuthanandan loitering on the premises of the courts. Everything will come out,” Pillai said.
Ganesh Kumar said Achuthanandan, who was petitioner in the corruption case in which Pillai was convicted, tried to influence the judiciary.
Reacting to the charges, Achuthanandan said a reception for a person to be jailed in a corruption case was a challenge to the judiciary.
The CPM state secretariat, in a statement, demanded that the Supreme Court should suo motu make a case against Sudhakaran for levelling such allegations.
Anybody who has had the misfortune to visit any court in the country will have been aware of how the court clerk (we call the peshkars) demands money to put your papers in front of the judge, out of turn. Now you can be sure that money is shared by the judges or magistrates whoever sits on that august chair.
As long as it was petty amounts, people bore it wryly.
But then the judges appetite increased when they saw the politicians making money.
Thus we see and hear of judges being impeached and judges being brought under the RTI act so that people can squeeze out information from the judiciary.
The judges were very reluctant to come under the RTI and their charge was lead by the former Chief Justice, Balakrishnan.
Now we know why?
The cat is out of the bag.
He is being accused above of demanding Rs 30.00 lakhs for dismissing cases against the Kerala bar owners.
If the judiciary is branded as corrupt who is going to save India?
We can truly say that a social revolution has occurred in India when the first Scheduled Caste Chief Justice of India is also the first chief justice to be branded as corrupt.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
PDP gives away J&K parts to China, Pak in slide show
Randeep Singh Nandal, TNN, Feb 12, 2011, 05.54pm IST
SRINAGAR: In an act that might stir a political storm in New Delhi, Jammu & Kashmir's main opposition party, People's Democratic Party (PDP) led by Mehbooba Mufti, has ceded both Aksai Chin and the Karakoram region to China on a map shown in its 'vision on Kashmir' power-point presentation.
Going well beyond it's argument for self-rule in the state, the PDP leadership made a power-point presentation of its vision on Kashmir in which PDP has accepted China's sovereignty over Aksai Chin and the Karakoram region on a map super-imposed on a collage of foreign currency notes. This contradicts the official Indian stand that states all these areas are Indian territory.
Besides, PDP has tacitly acknowledged China's stakes and role in Kashmir in its vision document. The PDP wants Srinagar to be connected to Yarkand in China, and beyond that to the Karakoram highway, constructed by China after Pakistan ceded it some 4,000 sq km of Kashmir in 1963. It's deemed illegal by India. This is the first time a mainstream political party has acknowledged Chinese role or presence in Kashmir.
China's moves in Kashmir have picked up momentum in the past few years. While the stapled Visa issue has been widely reported, the strategic community in India is more alarmed by China's presence in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir, where China is building the 7,000 mw Bunji Hydroelectric Project. Also on the anvil is a proposed railway line along the six-lane Karakoram highway. Few doubt the ability of the Chinese to accomplish this after its staggering achievement of a railway line to Lhasa.
The Northern Areas has now been incorporated in Pakistan and renamed Gilgit-Baltistan. In 2010, Pakistan, after 63 years of direct rule, gave the province an elected assembly. One of the first comments of the elected chief minister, Mehndi Shah, was, "Gilgit was never a part of Kashmir."
This Pakistan government move is consistent with the line that the 72,000 sq km that form this province were never a part of the Hari Singh's state of Jammu & Kashmir, citing the 1935 treaty of the Maharaja leasing the territory to British India for 60 years. The fact that Mountbatten terminated this treaty in July 1947 and returned Gilgit to Hari Singh is ignored. As is the fact that Article 6 of the Sino-Pakistan treaty giving the Karakoram region to China clearly states that the treaty will be "renegotiated pending the settlement of the Kashmir Dispute."
I have always maintained that the PDP's loyalty is towards Pakistan.
Right from the time when the kidnapping of Mufti's daughter was stage managed to obtain the release of terrorists, the Mufti's family has always worked against India's interest.
Such people should be put behind bars. There should be no negotiation with either them of Geelani of the Hurriayat who misses no opportunity in abusing India.
Unless they are controlled immediately they will create a situation which will not be to India's liking.
Randeep Singh Nandal, TNN, Feb 12, 2011, 05.54pm IST
SRINAGAR: In an act that might stir a political storm in New Delhi, Jammu & Kashmir's main opposition party, People's Democratic Party (PDP) led by Mehbooba Mufti, has ceded both Aksai Chin and the Karakoram region to China on a map shown in its 'vision on Kashmir' power-point presentation.
Going well beyond it's argument for self-rule in the state, the PDP leadership made a power-point presentation of its vision on Kashmir in which PDP has accepted China's sovereignty over Aksai Chin and the Karakoram region on a map super-imposed on a collage of foreign currency notes. This contradicts the official Indian stand that states all these areas are Indian territory.
Besides, PDP has tacitly acknowledged China's stakes and role in Kashmir in its vision document. The PDP wants Srinagar to be connected to Yarkand in China, and beyond that to the Karakoram highway, constructed by China after Pakistan ceded it some 4,000 sq km of Kashmir in 1963. It's deemed illegal by India. This is the first time a mainstream political party has acknowledged Chinese role or presence in Kashmir.
China's moves in Kashmir have picked up momentum in the past few years. While the stapled Visa issue has been widely reported, the strategic community in India is more alarmed by China's presence in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir, where China is building the 7,000 mw Bunji Hydroelectric Project. Also on the anvil is a proposed railway line along the six-lane Karakoram highway. Few doubt the ability of the Chinese to accomplish this after its staggering achievement of a railway line to Lhasa.
The Northern Areas has now been incorporated in Pakistan and renamed Gilgit-Baltistan. In 2010, Pakistan, after 63 years of direct rule, gave the province an elected assembly. One of the first comments of the elected chief minister, Mehndi Shah, was, "Gilgit was never a part of Kashmir."
This Pakistan government move is consistent with the line that the 72,000 sq km that form this province were never a part of the Hari Singh's state of Jammu & Kashmir, citing the 1935 treaty of the Maharaja leasing the territory to British India for 60 years. The fact that Mountbatten terminated this treaty in July 1947 and returned Gilgit to Hari Singh is ignored. As is the fact that Article 6 of the Sino-Pakistan treaty giving the Karakoram region to China clearly states that the treaty will be "renegotiated pending the settlement of the Kashmir Dispute."
I have always maintained that the PDP's loyalty is towards Pakistan.
Right from the time when the kidnapping of Mufti's daughter was stage managed to obtain the release of terrorists, the Mufti's family has always worked against India's interest.
Such people should be put behind bars. There should be no negotiation with either them of Geelani of the Hurriayat who misses no opportunity in abusing India.
Unless they are controlled immediately they will create a situation which will not be to India's liking.
Letter to PM
The following letter was written to our PM on my return from Varanasi regarding the situation in the railways
10.02.2011
The Prime Minister,
Shri Manmohan Singh,
New Delhi
Dear Sir,
Although my letter should not be written to you since it pertains to the railways, I have to write to you because she Ms Mamata Banerjee, the railway minister, is never in Delhi as her priority is West Bengal while you watch like Nero fiddling away while Rome burnt, watch helplessly while your cabinet colleagues underperform, first Raja and now Mamata Banerjee. You forget when history looks back it will look at Manmohan Singh’s non-performance rather than Raja’s or Mamata’s.
On 8.2.2011, my wife and I were booked by Poorva Express Train No 12382 from Varanasi to Howrah. The train was to arrive at Varanasi at 5.28 AM.
On the previous night I had enquiredand found out through 139 using Varanasi STD Code that the train would arrive at Varanasi 4 hrs late. However, using Delhi Code, I found through 139 that the train was leaving Delhi 7 Hrs late.
The next morning since we had to vacate the marriage house we went to the railway station at 7.30 am planning to pass 3 hours in the waiting room.
At 10.00 am we were told by the station enquiry that the train would come by 10.28 am on platform # 9, so both of us went to the platform.
10.28 am passed with no sign of the train.
At 11.00 am an announcement was made that the train would come by 12.15 PM. Sitting on the platform, I again dialed 139 to enquire and they still maintained that the train would come by 10.28 am
12.15 pm came and went but with no sign of the train. The announcements came periodically gradually shifting the arrival time to 13.30 Hrs, then 14.15 hrs and then 15.08 hours.
At 15.08 hrs, we were told that the train was coming on platform # 5. Now you can imagine the plight of two aged people with heart problem standing on platform # 9 having to run with luggage to platform # 5 since no coolies were available at that time. My wife almost collapsed on the overbridge. Fortunately, just at that time a coolie came and carried our luggage to the train which was standing on the platform. It meant, the announcement of the platform was made after the train had entered the platform.
We finally reached Howrah station at 3.00 am in the morning, 9 hours behind schedule.
On the journey to Varanasi on 3.2.2011 by Vibhuti Express, Train No 12333, the train which was to leave at 20.00 hours, left at 02.30 Hours, 6 ½ hours behind schedule. Fortunately, here too I had enquired through 139 at 6.00 Pm and was told that the train would leave by 2.00 am and hence we reached Howrah station only at 00.30 am. Just imagine the plight of passengers who reached Howrah station before 20.00 hrs to catch the train.
This train finally reached Varanasi at around 7.00 PM on 4.2.2011
The above are not just stray incidents.
Nowadays, invariably, all trains are running late.
Is there no accountability?
Is anybody held accountable if trains run late or do we need another emergency for the trains to run in time?
Have we made an analysis division wise of the percentage of trains running late?
We all agree you are an honest man but we also require a PM who performs and does not allow things to drift.
Yours sincerely,
Radheshyam Sharma
188, Bangur Avenue,
B-Block,
Kolkata - 700055
10.02.2011
The Prime Minister,
Shri Manmohan Singh,
New Delhi
Dear Sir,
Although my letter should not be written to you since it pertains to the railways, I have to write to you because she Ms Mamata Banerjee, the railway minister, is never in Delhi as her priority is West Bengal while you watch like Nero fiddling away while Rome burnt, watch helplessly while your cabinet colleagues underperform, first Raja and now Mamata Banerjee. You forget when history looks back it will look at Manmohan Singh’s non-performance rather than Raja’s or Mamata’s.
On 8.2.2011, my wife and I were booked by Poorva Express Train No 12382 from Varanasi to Howrah. The train was to arrive at Varanasi at 5.28 AM.
On the previous night I had enquiredand found out through 139 using Varanasi STD Code that the train would arrive at Varanasi 4 hrs late. However, using Delhi Code, I found through 139 that the train was leaving Delhi 7 Hrs late.
The next morning since we had to vacate the marriage house we went to the railway station at 7.30 am planning to pass 3 hours in the waiting room.
At 10.00 am we were told by the station enquiry that the train would come by 10.28 am on platform # 9, so both of us went to the platform.
10.28 am passed with no sign of the train.
At 11.00 am an announcement was made that the train would come by 12.15 PM. Sitting on the platform, I again dialed 139 to enquire and they still maintained that the train would come by 10.28 am
12.15 pm came and went but with no sign of the train. The announcements came periodically gradually shifting the arrival time to 13.30 Hrs, then 14.15 hrs and then 15.08 hours.
At 15.08 hrs, we were told that the train was coming on platform # 5. Now you can imagine the plight of two aged people with heart problem standing on platform # 9 having to run with luggage to platform # 5 since no coolies were available at that time. My wife almost collapsed on the overbridge. Fortunately, just at that time a coolie came and carried our luggage to the train which was standing on the platform. It meant, the announcement of the platform was made after the train had entered the platform.
We finally reached Howrah station at 3.00 am in the morning, 9 hours behind schedule.
On the journey to Varanasi on 3.2.2011 by Vibhuti Express, Train No 12333, the train which was to leave at 20.00 hours, left at 02.30 Hours, 6 ½ hours behind schedule. Fortunately, here too I had enquired through 139 at 6.00 Pm and was told that the train would leave by 2.00 am and hence we reached Howrah station only at 00.30 am. Just imagine the plight of passengers who reached Howrah station before 20.00 hrs to catch the train.
This train finally reached Varanasi at around 7.00 PM on 4.2.2011
The above are not just stray incidents.
Nowadays, invariably, all trains are running late.
Is there no accountability?
Is anybody held accountable if trains run late or do we need another emergency for the trains to run in time?
Have we made an analysis division wise of the percentage of trains running late?
We all agree you are an honest man but we also require a PM who performs and does not allow things to drift.
Yours sincerely,
Radheshyam Sharma
188, Bangur Avenue,
B-Block,
Kolkata - 700055
To All old farts
She probably does it all the time. What the heck, she's almost ninety,
and at that age you don't hold anything back even if you wanted to!
So the really important question is ??
Did the Queen Fart ??
What do you think ??
The expressions are priceless !!
Look at theQueen'face !!
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right?
Why not send this on to other old farts and bring a smile...or....tear to them!
Sent by Keith Hayward, O.F
Friday, February 11, 2011
The precious stone
A wise sage who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day he met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise man opened his bag to share his food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the man to give it to him. He did so without hesitation.
The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.
But a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise man. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.
Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."
Sent by Arun Shroff.
How true.
His is rich who has no wants
The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.
But a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise man. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.
Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."
Sent by Arun Shroff.
How true.
His is rich who has no wants
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