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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God..
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'
God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.Sent by Prakash Bhartia
Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
offspring become accountable
for their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug,
'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties,
I stood in a hospital corridor
waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
in my daughter's head and I asked,
'When do you stop worrying?'
The nurse said,
'When they get out of the accident stage..'
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties,
I sat on a little chair in a classroom
and heard how one of my children
talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career
making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
'Don't worry, they all go through this stage
and then you can sit back,
relax and enjoy them.'
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.
When I was in my forties,
I spent a lifetime waiting
for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home,
the front door to open.
A friend said,
'They're trying to find themselves.
'Don't worry!
In a few years, they'll be adults.
'They'll be off on their own
they'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
By the time I was 50,
I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
but there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own
I continued to anguish over their failures,
be tormented by their frustrations
and
absorbed in their disappointments..
and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.
My friends said that
when my kids got married
I could stop worrying
and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
but I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles
and their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?'
My friends said that
when I became a grandparent
that I would get to enjoy
the happy little voices yelling
Grandma! Papa!
But now I find that I worry
just as much about the little kids
as the big ones.
How can anyone cope
with all this Worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced
to a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch
to blaze the trail of human frailties
and the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
a virtue that elevates us
to the highest form of earthly creation?
Recently, one of my own children
became quite irritable, saying to me,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days,
and no one answered
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.Sent by Sir, Mr. Lobo.
How true, we are just realizing.
Mumbai, Jun 3 (PTI) Social activist Medha Patkar -- who recently concluded her own hunger strike over the issue of removal of slums in Mumbai -- today said that Baba Ramdev''s agitation was "expensive".
"Such expensive agitations show a different face of protest. We are also against corruption, but such an expensive agitation...by spending crores," Patkar said here.
The corporatisation of economic policy has led to black money, Patkar said. She cautioned against Ramdev''s agitation turning into a mere mass gathering.
Patkar also flayed the government over the difference in treatment meted out to Ramdev and Anna Hazare, without naming the latter. "The state should not discriminate between agitations. Ministers going to airport (to receive Ramdev).. It sends out a different message," she said.
"Are they behaving as ministers or (Ramdev''s) followers?" Patkar said. Do I smell a hint of jealousy in the attitude of Medha Patkar.
When I first read the heading without going into the details, I thought these were the views of another Patkar, Nana Patkar. I am surprised.
Nana like Sharukh having such views is understandable as film actors and actresses get most of their payment in the black. If that tap is dried, you can imagine their condition.
But Medha having such a view?
She has been most affected by the high-handedness of politicians.
Or has she made peace with Narendra Modi?
No, I think she is jealous of Swami Ramdeo's popularity.
She does not want anybody but Arundhati Roy and herself should hog the limelight.
As far as expensive is concerned, I differ here too.
If corruption is eradicated all that money could be used for the benefit of the people.
There is a new ogre striding across the Indian political landscape. The ogre is called civil society. The instrument that this giant uses to send shivers down the spine of the political establishment is fasting against corruption in high places. It is not an edifying spectacle to see the prime minister of India, Manmohan Singh, appealing to one Baba Ramdev, a godman of doubtful provenance, to withdraw his fast. What is even worse — bordering, in fact, on the disgraceful — is the sight of four ministers rushing to the airport to persuade Ramdev not to undertake his fast. It would appear from the panic in the ranks of the government that Ramdev and his fast are being perceived as a major threat to the stability, if not the survival, of the government. The only sensible response to this craven attitude of the government is the following: if a fast undertaken by a fabulously wealthy yoga teacher threatens the government, then perhaps the government deserves to fall. There is something surreal in the way the prime minister and his colleagues have reacted to Ramdev.
It is important to remember that those like Ramdev and Anna Hazare, who are claiming to be leaders and voices of civil society, represent a very small section of Indian society. They are also not the elected representatives of the people. They are not accountable to anybody; sometimes not even to their own conscience. By giving such people undue importance, the government is only inflating their egos and images. It is becoming clear that the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh is the principal mobilizer of support for Ramdev. This should suggest that Ramdev is not without political linkages since no one believes anymore that the RSS is only a cultural organization. There is another ominous angle that cannot be ignored. The present government, somewhat unexpectedly, is bestowing importance on religious figures. Witness the presence of the prime minister and Sonia Gandhi at the funeral of Sai Baba and the fuss being made now over Ramdev’s fast. In independent India, attempts to pander to religious sentiments by a government committed to secularism have always had dangerous consequences. The prime minister should watch his step. The above is from the Telegraphs Editorial of today.
It is astonishing the way mainstream papers are trying to belittle both Anna Hazare and Swami Ramdeo.
Both of them do not represent a small segment of Indian society as they allege, they represent probably 95% of society, A society which is disgusted with the going ons of these corrupt politicians, film stars and national papers who have an interest in continuing the rot.Even businessmen who have to compromise with their scruples are also frustrated with this corruption.
The papers forget that it was one handcart vendor who set off the Jasmine revolution in Tunisia and the other middle east countries. Compared to that, these two personalities already have crores of supporters who have demonstrated in all cities of India when the call was given.
Why does the Prime Minster shiver.
Because he could not utter a single word when people like Lalu Yadav, Shibu Soren, A.Raja and now Dayanidhi Maran and Suresh Kalamadi looted the people's money..If we made the complete list, it would probably cover a full page.
Whatever action that the government is taking now on CWG, 2G, Adarsh Housing, is because of vigorous follow up by the courts and these public figures who have raised their voices against corruption.
One scam, the Bofors scam, was swept under the carpet by successive Congress government.
Swami Ramdeo has raised the banner against corruption through his "Bharat Swabhiman" movement which was started more than three years ago
Let me tell you, the general mass was completely disgusted with the corruption
They could however do nothing because they were a single voice and so kept quiet.
Now Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdeo has polarized these voices and given them strength. Do not take them lightly.
The papers point out every now and then of some lacuna in the health or transport or some other department. There is a flurry of activity by the government. The papers then thump their chest saying that because of their report this has been done. But what about the thousands of cases in our lives which are not reported.
No, Mr. Editor.
Anna Hazare and Swami Ramdeo are doing yeoman service to India.
Mahatma Gandhi gave us political freedom from the British.
These people are giving us freedom from corruption so that India can make progress, unfettered by the corrupt politicians.
Asansol, June 2: A 15-member motorbike gang shot dead a realtor and two others barely 50 metres from the Asansol court today before a stunned noontime crowd, with police blaming the lightning strike on an interstate rivalry between coal mafias.
Responding fast to the first big crime under her watch, chief minister Mamata Banerjee got the police to seal the border to Jharkhand, from where the killers may have come, within an hour and detain a CPI councillor from Kulti.
Councillor Rohit Nunia is believed to be involved in coal smuggling, a police officer said, but a Left Front leader claimed that Asansol’s coal and iron-scrap thieves enjoy patronage from all political parties.
The killers parked their five motorbikes outside the upscale Asansol Club before walking into a nearby construction site off the Asansol Court More, which bustled with a crowd of shoppers, pedestrians, lawyers and their clients.
Minutes earlier, realtor Ram Lakshman Yadav, 45, had got off his white Hyundai Getz with his security guard and was talking to two associates on the ground floor of an under-construction, five-storey commercial-cum-residential complex.
The 15 youths appeared suddenly, each holding one revolver in either hand, eyewitnesses said. They called out Yadav’s name and began shooting. Within seconds, the realtor, guard Motilal Rajak, 45, and Mukesh Singh, 34, had slumped to the ground while the gang chased Kamalesh Singh, 30, to the basement.
“I saw about 15 youths firing. Yadav slumped on the ground covered in blood while Motilal fell on a heap of stone chips,” said the realtor’s driver Dilip Singh, who watched from the car, too afraid to step out.
“Kamalesh started running but the attackers chased him to the basement and shot him repeatedly.”
Mukesh is said to be stable at a private hospital in Durgapur; the other three were declared dead on arrival at an Asansol hospital. Yadav had been riddled with 10 bullets, sources said, and the other two slain men too had multiple wounds.
As the news reached Writers’ Buildings, Mamata went into a huddle with chief secretary Samar Ghosh, home secretary G.D. Gautama, director-general of police Naparajit Mukherjee and additional director-general (law and order) Surajit Kar Purakayastha.
“The area is close to Jharkhand and the police have been asked to seal the border,” Mamata later told reporters.
A senior officer said the border, 65km from Asansol, was closed by 1pm and the killers were unlikely to have reached it by then.
“There is a problem with the coal mafias who have enjoyed political patronage so far. We’ll not tolerate this nonsense,” Mamata said.
“The police have been asked to deal with the case with a strong hand. The criminals will be booked for sure; how far can they have run away? We’ll find them out. A red alert has been issued.”
Jagmohan, the deputy inspector-general (Burdwan range), said the slain realtor had two cases pending against him, one for possession of illegal arms in 1994 and the other for a murder attempt in 1999.
Another officer said three suspects had been detained, including CPI councillor Nunia from Kulti, a town 30km from Asansol and whose municipality is run by a Trinamul-Congress alliance.
“An attempt was made on Nunia’s life six months ago but he escaped unhurt. He was involved in smuggling coal out of the IISCO factory,” the officer added.
CPI state secretary Manju Majumdar said he had heard about Nunia’s detention and had sought a report from the party’s Burdwan unit.
Police sources said they were also looking for an Asansol lodge owner suspected of involvement in iron-scrap smuggling.
Apart from the court, the bungalows of the additional district magistrate and the additional district police chief are located near the triple-murder site.
Ujjwal Mondal, 40, the caretaker of an empty two-storey building nearby, said he sat on the balcony watching the killings, too frightened to raise the alarm. “Some of the attackers fled towards the club where they had parked their motorbikes and some others towards the IISCO plant, which is about 1.5km away.”
He said he came down only when the police arrived around 12.20pm. Soon, the area wore a deserted look with shopkeepers downing shutters. Mamata has announced a Rs 2-lakh compensation for each of the dead. I am really happy at the quick response of Mamata. If the criminals can be nabbed, it would send a strong signal to criminals.
However, I am surprised at her award of Rs 2.0 lakhs to each of those killed.
This promoter had criminal cases against him and we know that only hardened criminal can take up the profession.
Those strongmen who guarded the promoter also knew the risk of guarding a criminal and so met their fate.
If Mamata Banerjee is going to give away money to criminals who earn their money with the help of the gun, it is the height of making populist announcement.
I commiserate with their families but those who live a life of crime should not be awarded.
1· No point using limited life to chase unlimited money.
2· No point earning so much money you cannot live to spend it.
3· Money is not yours until you spend it.
4· When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health. Difference is that, it is too late.
5· How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs.
6· No point working so hard to provide for the people you have no time to spend with.
Remember this -- We come into this world with nothing,and we leave this world with nothing!
Here is the proof that you don't have to have money to be happy.
Sent by Prakash Bhartia
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
___________________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
___________________________________________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
___________________________________________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
___________________________________________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
___________________________________________
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangsup.
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Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
___________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
___________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
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The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'Sent by Prakash Bhartia
